Black and White Photos

Dear Amanda,

Good morning. It's a gorgeous day here in Connecticut and I plan to spend some time by the pool. For now I am in that hour between taking my thyroid meds and being able to eat breakfast (did I tell you my thyroid is in shut down?), and in the hour before the pool opens, during which time I have developed the routine of having my coffee and watching the Today Show, while checking our blog and my email. A power walk is also on the ambitious list of things to do in the morning, but it's a crap shoot--based in part on humidity.

I wonder, since you didn't write yesterday, if you had a bad day or just a busy one. I hope you got caught up in something fun and spontaneous with some friends in the neighborhood...and can't wait to hear about it.

My day yesterday was pretty uneventful. I was grateful for mediocre weather (I didn't feel compelled to be outside) and spent most of my day inside. After I went grocery shopping, I went through my junk mail, decluttered my kitchen, and tried on the dress I'm wearing to my friend's wedding this weekend in another effort to assess whether I can do it without Spanks. Obviously, I'd rather not wear them, as they impair my breathing and make me sweat (just the act of getting them on makes me sweat!) but I need to figure out if that's the best fashion decision. Sometimes I feel like they make me more rotund, displacing my lower belly upward, making me more apple than pear. It becomes, therefore, a question of if I prefer looking like a big bratwurst (with Spanks) or a lumpy sausage (without). Of course there's a part of me that knows no one would really know or notice the difference, especially this time around, since I'm going with W. What most of the guests, those who have never met me or him, will notice is that he is black and I am not.

I don't often think of us as a biracial couple anymore, or don't get anxious about how we will be received. Most of the places we go we are now regulars, and are greeted with a familiar nod, or in some cases by name. Furthermore, as W once noted, we don't go to places where people would necessarily have issues. Rather, we go to places where the customers are more likely than not educated and enlightened, cultured. And, in general, I tend not to hang out with racists.

Of course, I have no idea the attitudes of the extended families of the bride and groom, but I do know the bride and groom and some of the other guests--colleagues who are also friends, with whom we'll be seated, two of whom are black. Yay. At least I know I am not asking W to walk into a room as the only African American. As for me, I really could give a crap about what people might think or say under their breath about me. Instead, I like to think about what a handsome couple we are--both attractive, well dressed, and a good physical fit for each other--and then focus on enjoying myself, enjoying the company of this man I love and any friends in our midst. This weekend will be much the same. Only I'll take lots of pictures.

Given the Spanks debate, I am going to go for my walk before lounging by the pool. Hope all is well with you and yours.

Love, Barb