Me again...hope you had a nice first day back, getting settled into the usual routines. I wanted to write a quick note this evening to let you know that today was good - better - and that things may be returning to normal sooner rather than later. I made the first move to open the lines of communication with J this morning in an email. This is a very unusual medium for us, one because usually email sets the wrong tone and two, he was at work. I just felt that I couldn't let it sit another minute, or until the end of the day. I composed the letter in Word first, as if I were writing a real letter instead of jotting off an email, then copied it. He responded within a couple of hours with a very heartfelt note, so my day went a little more smoothly than yesterday. He isn't home from work yet, but I'm sure we'll talk this evening and we'll work things out.

Does that change anything I wrote here yesterday? No, not really, funny enough. I will still long to disappear when the kids are grown and I know my hours on the floor of the closet are far from over. I will still wonder if we are truly meant to be together and the challenges with M will continue each day.

Speaking of which: we went to see A (the counselor) this morning. M wasn't resistant until we were waiting in the waiting room, where he started an argument about why he had to be there. We met with her together for about a half an hour, then I left and she spent some time with him alone. Of course their conversation is confidential so I won't discuss it with her, and I chose not to ask him about it. Today, anyway. He went. He talked. That's a hugely positive start. And, we got along well for the remainder of the day. I couldn't ask for more than that, I think.

I should start thinking about dinner...oh, and there's J now, pulling into the driveway. Thanks again for listening and I hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
A