Oh Barb, my heart breaks for A and J too, and for you. Thank God they have you, and their grandparents, and even L. When I first read that A was in Poland, I was thinking "wow, I can't believe she's that grown up already, traveling to Europe alone". But she's not. She's 11. She's JJ's age for God's sake! And even if she's able to go it alone, I believe that M and V staying within phone distance is absolutely the least they could do.

The secret eating, the crying, the loneliness...wow. J especially, who needs a father (know this from personal experience) and A because she's so vulnerable right now...how awful. And not to defend M's passive acceptance, but poor her too, being controlled that way and not being strong enough to stop it (i.e. my mother). When you say she prays for his untimely death, are you serious? What is her reasoning for not leaving him? Are either of the kids in counseling? Maybe that would be a start for them at least. Does M know how unhappy her kids are or is she in denial just to keep V happy?

I say all this as if I were the perfect mom...which we both know I am not...but really, aren't there different levels of dysfunction? And how is it that someone like you, (albeit not surprisingly) who does not have kids of her own, can be a better parent than all of us put together when the need arises? Is that because you are removed from all the emotional baggage and day-to-day crap that comes with parenting? Is it because you can see more clearly from the outside than any of us can from the inside? Is it just because you are a compassionate and caring person who "gets it"? Maybe a little of all of the above. In any case, you are a gift...I tell you...for your neices and nephews and sisters and parents and your friends too...because you see in all of us what we need to see ourselves and if you can't help us change, you at least help those who suffer from our blindness.

Hope your Sunday gets better...Love you lots,
A