Part 2

Get this: it is not raining and I am not by the pool. Wonders never cease.

I got caught up cleaning up in the kitchen and prepping for another couple of days on the Atkins Diet. I know, it's completely uncharacteristic of me to do any kind of "fad" diet, especially as a historically successful Weight-Watcher, but I am beyond frustrated. I can count points (and not forget to add the wine) and my weight won't budge. My endocrinologist told me to be patient and keep doing what I'm doing until they get my thyroid level under control, but I can't sit and watch my weight creep up anymore. Already, over the past few years I've put back on most of what I lost in that late-30s burst of energy, in my I-can-jog-and-white-water-raft phase.

So I'm banging my head against the wall and thinking about what I may be doing to further exacerbate my thyroid's refusal to work and my weight gain when I see a news story on Atkins. (What would I do without NBC? By the way, did you ever read that article on kids and happiness?) A recent study showed that people were most successful--lost the most weight and kept it off longest--on Atkins, vs. low fat or low calorie. I realize that I am a carb queen. I buy light wheat everything, but I can also eat the whole bag of whole grain Goldfish when I'm watching TV--one handful at a time. So I think maybe I am overdoing carbs and/or carb sensitive. Maybe I need to back off the carbs for a while.

I feel better already. I've only been doing it since Wednesday, but already I feel like I've lost some belly bloat. And I feel like I can do this for a while...lose some weight, then ultimately revise what has become a high carb diet. The Atkins website has been great in terms of menu suggestions for snacks and an overview of the whole program. In fact, I think it's a little different than it was years ago when it was the latest greatest diet and I knew people who went on it. Like, didn't tomatoes used to be forbidden? Not anymore. For a couple of weeks I'm going to skip bread and fruit (the Induction Phase), then by Newport I can loosen up a little, enough to have ice cream one night with M and C and not feel like I should be rolled down the cobblestones home.

Interesting that you should be attempting weight loss at the same time...I wonder how you're doing and what your goals are. Is there a certain amount of weight you want to lose? Do you just want your jeans to be more comfortable? Me? For now I would like to get back to the weight I was when I met W...3 years and 30 pounds ago, I felt good the day I met him (of course I did). I was by no means thin then, but I felt good. I want to feel that good again, not simply grateful that I have someone who loves me just the way I am.

Speaking of unconditional love, how is J holding up? Is JJ less anxious? How are you?...Another dose of white light headed your way.
B