Welcome Back, Amanda

Hey, Amanda,

Nice to have you back! Sounds like things went well. I must admit it took me off guard to read that you were "detoxing from Big E," because in these parts The Big E is a two week fair, the Eastern States Exposition--and that's not until the end of September. Not that you'd come to the Big E...at least not without a visit with me...

Interesting that your dad, aka Big E, was so insightful, or at least thoughtful, about M. (How is their relationship these days?) And I'm glad to hear that he made a good effort with you. Perhaps somewhere in his praise of your parenting is a message that says, I know I haven't been the best father, and I'm sorry. Or is that giving him too much credit? But back to M...Any chance M was just bored out of his mind and wanting to get back home to his girlfirend?

I don't blame you for taking a couple of days after returning to regroup. I always find it difficult to be away for a while, and when I return I love to just plop myself on my couch and be around my things. It takes days for me to unpack everything; for the first couple of days I just grab what I need as I need it.

Lots to write about and things to catch up on, but I'm soooo tired. And sooo embarassed that I am. For god's sake all I did today, after a morning power walk, was sit by the pool and finish the Jane Green I was reading. (Must say I've had enough of all the designer dropping. I feel like lately she's writing the same story over and over.) Then I went grocery shopping to get beach food for tomorrow. That is, another rough day in the forecast. But I guess that's one of the perks of being a teacher...the time (well-deserved, I might add) to relax and rejuvenate, after 10 months of what essentially amounts to systematic abuse by teenagers and their parents, during which time we are also required to ignore our biological being. I mean honestly! All those people in the "real world" who think we have it made have no idea what it's like to feel your bowels twisting and know that you have another 55 minutes to wait before you can head down the hall to go to the bathroom. And when you do finally get to go, the round trip has to take under 5 minutes.

I love summer because I go to bed when I'm tired and wake when I'm rested. I've read four novels and haven't had to correct a single paper. (Although I did have to correct a pronoun in your last entry....A, you still have issues with subjective pronouns when objective are called for. It's like you're afraid to say me, even when it's appropriate, and default into I. )(Oh my God I am such a b*tch. But so glad I could go through that with you. :) ) I eat when I'm hungry (I haven't had lunch at 10:20 once!) and use the bathroom when I need to. In short, I love summer because I get to feel human again.

Will write about W when I have more energy, but it's nothing monumental, so no worries. I just feel like after 3 years I should be giving him ultimatums, but I have no desire to most days. What we have, this long distance relationship with weekends that feel like honeymoons, is working for me still, but I feel like maybe it shouldn't be. (By the way, um, how does one go as long as J without sex?!?!?! If W and I don't see each other for a few weeks I'm ravenous. And he, fortunately, has the same sexual appetite. Sadly, though, A, I think there are more couples who don't have a good, healthy, regular sex life than those who do. We should count our blessings.)

Off to the beach tomorrow. I'll check in Saturday and will hope to read more from you then.

Love you, Barb