Barking Dogs and Barking Spiders...and Letting Go

Today I am acutely aware of the physical challenges of going back to school. The biological freedom I celebrated at the beginning of vacation I have now relinquished to education. I sat through a morning faculty meeting with gas pains. When eventually I could pass a little of it in private in my classroom, I was afraid someone would walk in and be olfactory witness, wonder if something had died in my room. Ultimately, of course, the gas was a warning sign for greater things to come. And I'm not a fan of doing my business in public restrooms. Bowels aside, at the end of day 3 I would say the toughest part of being back is the strain on my back. And feet. The floors are killer--tile on concrete--and not meant for cute sandals, which I wore days 1 and 2. Today I wore running sneakers and it didn't help. After a summer of rest and relaxation, my body hurts. I feel like I should pop a handful of ibuprofen and go to bed.

Instead, I will stay up a while longer, drink some wine, and watch coverage of the Democratic Convention and today's historic nomination (which brought tears to my eyes). Eventually I'll make my way upstairs and try on the two outfits I have narrowed down as my choices for tomorrow to see which feels better. This year, because the weather is so good, sweat camouflage does not have to be the primary consideration.

I'm sorry to hear you are in such a funk. Maybe--in addition to being blue about things with J and feeling like your meds aren't right (as if that's not enough)--you're going through a sort of subconscious mourning? You're not going back, and hearing from old colleagues that you're missed brings that home. As much as it was your choice, there still needs to be a letting go...Maybe this is what letting go feels like--like those first days after breaking up with a bad boyfriend and ending a bad relationship, but still needing to spend time in bed with Ben and Jerry's ice cream watching romantic comedies. I wish I could join you...

Love, Barb