Morning coffee

Good afternoon Sun Rat, (I'm so jealous)

I love this time, right now, when it's still kind of early in the morning (9:30?) but none of my kids are awake, J's at work, K just called and canceled our work out I have nowhere to be until 11:00. Now if my phone would quit ringing...I made a pot of joe (I can't justify Starbucks if I don't work out) and thought I'd share it with you.

Thanks for writing last night - books, indeed. I am excited to pick up The Condition today at Costco (thanks for the offer, I can't wait that long!) I'm taking that and The Body Finder to the beach tomorrow. Kim (I can use her real name, right, since she's an author?) writes horror fiction; twenty years ago her audience was adults but The Body Finder is for teens. It's about a girl who is telepathically summoned by missing dead bodies. So it's scary, but not too scary for me (I am such a horror wimp). So far, it's really good. Also, I have been eyeing Love Walked In for awhile now - how is it? I think I'll grab that too. I just scored an $8 Alice Hoffman at Target - God, I wish I had time to read the whole pile that continues to grow in my den!!

Today I am getting my family ready for a beach trip - I don't think I told you we were going. J wanted very much to go camping this weekend but of course, there isn't a campsite within 500 miles open in the middle of August. Do you remember the beach house we used to go to in Canon Beach, OR for years? Since we bought the trailer, we haven't been there and the kids really miss it. The guy who owns it is a FF from where I used to work and he only rents the house to fire service people. I called on the off chance that they might have this weekend open, which would be a miracle, and, miraculously, they did. Not only that, after I talked with his wife about the funeral a bit (they had attended) she finally said, "You know, I'm so glad you called. G and I were talking and it would mean a lot to us if we could give this weekend to you and J as a gift. You've been through so much, it's really the least we can do." I was so blown away; I kept saying "Oh, that's not necessary, thank you so much, that's far too generous..." and she ended with "You know what? Just pay it forward." Of course I got off the phone and cried. How is there so much good in the world?

We are leaving tomorrow morning with the boys and C will meet us there after work on Friday. Everyone in the family loves this place and it really is a quiet, relaxing retreat. Plus the town of Canon Beach is awesome and we haven't been there in years. Finally, something everyone agreed on and is looking forward to. Even M. Amazing. So I'll spend my day shopping and packing and doing laundry, which works well with my mood. It's as close to hiding out as I'm going to get.

I did drag myself over to K's last night - T called and said "the gang's all here and K made raspberry cobbler..." We all sat around eating and drinking and watching the Olympics for a bit, which was nice. T gets in my head too well sometimes though. He just looks at me/into me and says "Ok?" and when I nod and say "yeah" (as if to say, "Why? Don't I look ok?") he smiles and squeezes my hand and tells me he loves me. No more than that, just my friend knowing that I'm not ok, and it's ok not to be, and I don't have to talk about it or deal with it. I have my moments when I wonder what it would be like to be with someone who is that in tune with me, who knows me and takes the time to check in with me. J wouldn't have a clue that I'm not alright, nor would it occur to him to check in just for good measure.
That's it for this morning - my house is waking up and I better get a shower before I'm late. Love,
A