Happy Thoughts

Hi, Amanda,

You must be wiped out...I am too (although apples and oranges), but I wanted to say goodnight and give you an update on this end before I turn in.

I just got off the phone with L, who was happy to report that she was not ambushed by M and V tonight. After a brief debriefing (that's not redundant, is it?), we changed subjects, and I was able to share some of the extra special moments I had with S during her overnight visit, thereby allowing L some moments as a proud mom (instead of a terrorized sister) and turning our attention to happier thoughts.

Funny, I didn't carry her, or labor for her, or breast feed her, but I love S as if I had, as if she were my own. And I feel like I know the unconditional and uncensored love a parent gets from, and gives to, a child because of my relationship with S. There is nothing quite like seeing her eyes light up when she sees me, running into my arms to give me a hug hello when I see her (and yes, she's 9 going on 16). The other night, when I dropped her off (L and J met me at a half way point) she hugged me tight and thanked me and said I love you, then got into the car with her brother (who also ran out of the car to hug me and say hello), only to get out again--three times-- while L and J and I had a brief conversation. And that's just the bookends of a visit with her. All the moments in between--the giggles and secrets, the storytelling and reminiscing, the chocolate milk and snacks that somehow taste different when I make them, the pool racing and nail polishing--well, they preclude the need for the bookends. But I'll take them anyway.

How nice to go to bed smiling tonight, thinking of my Sunshine. I hope you are able to go to bed with some semblance of peace tonight, able to conjure up a precious thought that can make you smile as you turn in.

Love and light, Barb