Moving Forward

Good morning there,

I hope you are well rested today and feeling better. We forget that Friday nights during the school year are much different than during the summer...it's the sudden release of stress and worry and work - in the summer, it's just another night. No wonder you were wiped out. It's only the second Friday of the year!

I do believe you are receiving signs that it's time to get back to writing. You thought of this blog, didn't you? Isn't that where the signs began? My friend, Kim, getting published, the comments from friends, the intensive reading over the summer, yes, it's all speaking to you. We are all speaking to you. Some of the thoughts in The Secret are about feng shui (is that supposed to be capitalized?) and how we set our lives up to accept success - or not. We're supposed to set things up to receive - one story is of a woman who wanted the perfect partner and then realized that her life was set up to actually keep him away from her - she slept in the middle of her bed, parked her car in the middle of the garage. So as soon as she "moved over" and "made room" for him, there he was. Ok, kind of cheesy, like I said. And I'm not saying you should quit your job, sit down at the computer and write your heart out so that the universe can clearly get the I'm a writer signal. While I'm sure there are those who have done that, I'm guessing the percentage of those who have been successful at it is low. But honestly, what would happen if you started referring to yourself (as I always refer to you) as a writer, instead of a teacher? Whenever I talk about you, and I mean this, I'm not blowing sunshine, I say "Barb is a writer. She teaches high school." or some variation of that. Just a thought.

And another thought...the book is $17 at Target, which I think is outrageous considering the fact that, all told, it's probably less than 50 pages long. The high-gloss colored pages, the artwork and the hardcover are not worth the price. Go get if from the library. Just a suggestion.

I have a wonderful quiet hour to myself this morning. M spent the night at a friend's last night and J had to go to some ridiculous welcome-home ceremony for our local Olympics hero (she lives two doors down from my brother). Our little town is quite proud of her, but the fact that J has to escort her from the Hummer to the stage at her ceremony this morning is so over the top. Pu-leez. JJ just left to go admire CM's new quad that T bought for him last night. He bought one for TA, his youngest son, before we went away for Labor Day. I am so sick and tired of freakin' quads and that family's obsession with them. I'm glad they're headed out today to ride and I don't have to go. Or listen to CM talk about it nonstop, and I mean, NON-STOP. JJ loves to ride and I'm sure if we bought him a quad he'd love it. But honestly, he's going to have a perfectly normal childhood without one. That's what I'm so tired of, is the pressure to join the quad cult. T just keeps at us - look at this one, JJ would love this one, M would love this one, you guys could finance this one, we could ride together, do this for your kids - my kids are not pressuring us to buy them $4000 dirt riding equipment the way (I believe) you have set your kids up to pressure you.

Currently, I am tired of S&T (can you tell?) and their insane version of parenting. (Because, as you know, I'm the perfect Mom). Lately, I just can't be around CM - he grates on all of us - even JJ sometimes - with the baby talk (I want to, as you say, put a fork in my eye. Or his.) and the whining and the complete domination of that family. He's 10 years old and in total control of everything that goes on over there. It makes me crazy!! It's well camouflaged though; they appear to be disciplining their kids, but under the surface, the kids always win, always get what they want, no matter what, and never, ever, pay a consequence. There's a lot of up-front yelling and show, but not an ounce of follow through. Seriously, I get that I'm not a perfect Mom, even though that was good energy to put into the universe, don't you think? :) But this kid wears on everyone - friends, parents, teachers (God help them, I pray for his teachers every year) - even his own peers. And S&T just think he's the cutest, most loving and adorable little guy ever. Arghh!!!

Wow, I guess I had to get that out. Didn't know it was festering quite so fiercely in there. The worst part, of course, is that we love S&T like family (or more than family, in my case - oh, did I just say that out loud?) We can hang with them for days on end and be just fine, as long as CM isn't with us. And of course, there's no talking to them about it; one, because they just wouldn't get it and two, because that's just all kinds of bad karma to bring up the whole we love you but we can't stand your kid thing. I just don't think you can do that and expect your friendship to survive. And you know that would kill me. So...we just grin and bear it and try to avoid situations that will make us insane (like going riding today, or going up to their cabin for a long weekend, or whatever else that puts us in confined space with CM for any length of time.) Such is life. As my friend Grandma June once told me, "The seal of a true friendship is surviving each others' kids." Amen.

Anywho - it's pretty slow around here today. We went to dinner last night with new friends, which was fun. P is the Executive Coach for the FD and she and J have been working together for probably three years or so. She owns her own company in Seattle and is married to an engineer - anyway, they bought this beach house on the Key Peninsula a few years ago, to retire in. After a couple of years, they decided it was all wrong, tore it up and started over. She and J have become very close while working together and she finally initiated moving our relationship from professional to personal. She's a great woman - I have liked her from the very beginning. I think she has done wonders for the department, but more importantly, for J. She tells him straight up the way it is and he actually listens to her. She tells him he's too sarcastic or that he's not being fair, or whatever. I think he has learned a lot from her and I sort of count on her to get on him when he's getting too stressed out or working too hard or mis-prioritizing. Sooo...she and D, her husband, invited us out to their "new" house last night for dinner. And wow, what a house. It's set up on a small cliff, right on the water, with a long staircase from the deck down to the beach. They have traveled the world, so their home is filled with beautiful art and memories from all over. But it's still a beach house, beginning, in the entryway, with a large mudroom scattered with boots and flip-flops and such; most of the house is windows so it's incredibly open and bright. We lucked out with gorgeous weather so every window and French door was open when we arrived - I have never walked into such a welcoming home. And books - everywhere - cookbooks and art books and magazines - and her office upstairs, which is connected to the master bedroom by three wide stairs and an archway, is wall-to-wall books. I was in love with this house, I tell you. There is a balcony off the master (overlooking the Sound) that she has outfitted with two chaise lounges; she points to them and says "ideal napping spot". Hello! And her bathroom? No, wait, her closet!! OMG, you would have just died for this place. And that was just the house. The dinner was fantastic - grilled salmon, apple and blue cheese salad, fresh peach cobbler and cappuccinos for dessert. (No, not coffee. Cappuccino.) And good wine, too. It was truly delightful. Oh, and talk about feeling like a grown-up. The nice thing is, though, and I'm so proud to say this, that I am excited to reciprocate and share our home with them in the future. I, too, have a beautiful and welcoming home and for once I wasn't impressed to the point of intimidation by someone else's life. No, we don't have a 180 degree view of the water or a baby grand in the living room. But I did notice that her bookshelf reflected many of the titles on my own; we are on an equal playing field, and it has nothing to do with money. I had a lot of fun and look forward to growing this friendship. Plus, not to leave him out, I really, really liked her husband, D, who is funny and intelligent and unassuming. Together, I think they are an amirable couple - you can see the health of their marriage in everything they do and say to each other - it was great role-modeling for J and me. (They've been together since she was 16 - some 32 years or so.)

Just thought I'd share that with you - it was a memorable evening. And I just learned that S & T are not only going riding, they're going up to H&D's house for the night! Yeah! She's on her way over to give me the housekey so I can feed the cats. This means they won't be around tomorrow either...do I sound horrible? I don't mean to...I just need a break.

I'll sign off for now and maybe come back later - hope you're having a rejuvenating Saturday.

Food - cooking - travel - things I want to talk about when I come back to the keyboard.