Phew

Hello there.

I am glad to hear things are better...M is home and wants you to proceed with custody, and you and J had a great day. Yay Yay Yay. Can you hear my sighs of relief? I know that it's not necessarily clear sailing, but it's a start. A good one. Knowing that just when you think you may have lost your son and he comes home is huge. Knowing that you can have a good day with your husband while in the midst of all this madness is even bigger, I think. With kids, the only thing I think you can count on is that they will be a royal and challenging pain in the arse. Beyond 18, beyond college. Well into adulthood they will give you agida. (I know because I am one of those children.) During periods of silence, distance, estrangement, frustration--which will happen--it will be vital to you that "at least you have J," who can hold you in his arms and make you feel loved when those kids you love so unconditionally leave you wondering. Does that make sense?... My unsolicited 2 cents. (Okay, so, while I'm at it, let's make it 3. As I've told you before I don't think you're an alcoholic, Amanda. By a long shot. However, I will support you if you think what you need to do is go to AA.) Keep me posted.

Not much to report here. I did have a great weekend, but my artist's date on Saturday was pretty much a bust. We are not at peak foliage yet, and any tree that would have made a nice photo had a speed limit sign or fire hydrant within two feet of the trunk. After a fruitless hour of driving around, when I couldn't really afford the gas, I stopped for an ice cream cone, then came home. I did not abandon my artist self with my search for the bucolic that evaded me, however. I read, I wrote, I cooked (I made arugula and prosciutto pizza so I could travel back to Florence in my mind and heart) and I decided I'd look forward to my next artist's date--matting and framing photos that I had taken and ordered enlargements of, but that had not yet arrived. (They finally came today, so I'm all set for that next weekend!)

For now I am off to make dinner. I'm making myself a mahi mahi sandwich, inspired by Tyler Florence, tonight. It's one of my frugal meals--using food that would otherwise go to waste: a roll I took out of the freezer, leftover arugula, a tomato on the verge, leftover bacon. The mahi mahi I had in the freezer.

Again, it was great to hear from you. Thanks for taking the time to write.

Sending white light, now as always. Barb