But wait, there's more!

Hey look! I'm back already! J took JJ to pre-game practice so I've got an extra 15 minutes to spare. I just got off the phone with CC, who more or less invited herself over to K&R's for the game today. It's the WSU-UW game, our state U rivals, so it's a big day around here. At 5:30 this morning, I thought about having to go to this, and how I really didn't want to (what if everyone thinks I have a drinking problem? What if everyone is fed up with me? I should probably lay low for awhile). But now, with K's texts going back and forth about what food she's making and blah, blah, blah, I'm just thinking I don't have to drink. Right?

I went in to take my shower earlier and I decided to try to approach J, even though I was sure he would be cold and angry, probably for the rest of this weekend. All I said was that I was sorry, that I knew my drinking was becoming a problem, and that I would work on it. His response threw me a little: "Thanks. I didn't mean to upset you or make you mad. I was trying to express how I was feeling." Then, he's all lovey-dovey and huggy-kissy, for the rest of the morning.

?????

Ok, he so does not know how my crazy little brain works. He has no concept of the bomb he has dropped on me, the can of worms he has unwittingly opened that will become my new neurotic focus. This is how compartmentalized he is. Say it, be done with it. Move on. OMG, how can two people as different and unconnected as we are still be married?

And this is where I am telling myself not to make a bigger deal out of this than it is. Let molehills be molehills. It wasn't a life comment, it was an in-the-moment comment. The more I think about it, sober, the more I think that yeah, maybe I was a little more crocked than usual last night. I don't know.

God, it's no wonder I'm crazy. Listen to me.

Later,
A