TGISaturday

Good morning , Barb,

I know you are probably gone by now to J's confirmation and a day of family activity, but thanks for your early morning post. Yes, I remember the plates. In fact, I think there was some difficulty in getting them because I told you we could get them at the Tully's by my house, but we had to go back to the city...or something like that. You should still take a picture though, because I don't actually remember what they look like.

Several years ago, JB gave me a set of four mugs, each one with a line from Hey Diddle Diddle. (That sounds ridiculously juvenile, but the mugs are not.) They are my absolute favorite piece of kitchenware; I only drink coffee from those in the mornings. The purple one is the best, then the blue one, and if both are in the dishwasher, I will use one of the others. I would love to get to that point where I'm coveting plates and matching them to non-set cups, just to further my dining enjoyment alone. I do that for guests, definitely; I'm pretty good with presentation when it comes to others. I love my dishes and tableware, but when it's just me, I don't put in that much effort. But I should, and good for you!

Halloween was ok. I didn't go out with the kids, and staying in handing out candy wasn't nearly as much fun. We get so many trick-or-treaters here that for two hours, I just sat on the porch, because there wasn't any point in closing the door. S's dad was counting, but I didn't get the final number. Last year it was somewhere around 550. I'm sad that I didn't go out; it's one of my favorite days of the year in my neighborhood and I skipped out on an 11-year old tradition. Notice I didn't say ended, because I am definitely not going to make the same mistake next year :-)

Around 9, we turned off the lights and went over to S & T's. S's father, sister & family were there (I love all of them) and T's friend, H, and his daughter, M, (at whose house we went quadding on Labor Day). CK and her (weird) boyfriend showed up later on. T got the firepit going, plugged in Happy Feet for the kids sprawled out in varying stages of sugar coma all over the living room, and we spent the rest of the night with our feet propped up, a la summer. We talked politics and kids and notable drug busts (H is a narcotics cop in Seattle with good stories). And I drank, I think, a bottle of wine by myself. This may not have been a huge problem on any other day, but the Adderal eliminates my appetite, so I literally had not eaten anything all day before I started drinking. Not counting a few packets of Smarties and a stray Kit Kat, I had a completely empty stomach. By the time I left, long after J had taken JJ home, I was, how do you spell it? Shifaced? I was doing the I Love You Guys So Much stagger, holding onto CK, all the way home, . Which, remarkably, I do remember. Then I came in and ate like a half pound of roast beef and a sleeve of Saltines. Yum. It's a miracle I didn't puke all night long.

I didn't plan to drink that much. In fact, I didn't plan to drink at all. I almost didn't even go to the party, because I was having a pretty rough night to start with. Before all of this, around 4:00, I reminded M that he was grounded (I think I told you about this on the phone.) I asked him what time he needed to meet up with his friends and reminded him that he needed to be home by 11. By the time he was done throwing a tantrum over that, and I will spare you all the details in between, he had dressed up in several layers of clothes, packed his backpack full of God knows what, and was gone. He handed me a few pieces of paper when he left, one of which was a poem he wrote for JJ, one appeared to be a Health assignment, just random thoughts, and the other was a poem he wrote to me. All three of them sounded suspiciously like suicide notes, so I, of course, flipped a f***ing lid. I told him I didn't understand what he had written and he said, with that scary flat affect he has, "I'm sorry you don't understand. You're an English teacher, figure it out."

Then he was gone. Since I couldn't think straight, and it was Halloween, and I still had to get JJ all ready to go, and worry about dinner, I kind of went into hyper-work mode. I talked myself out of a complete nervous breakdown because I didn't have time for that. By the time J came home, I was ok, but I was afraid to say anything. I lied and told him that M was spending the night at a friend's. One, he's got enough crap on his plate to worry about right now, he doesn't need this s**t too. Two, I was terrified I would fall apart if I opened my mouth. As the night went on, my head got clearer, but then I started drinking...I woke up at 5:30 this morning and spent the next four hours on my couch, curled up in the fetal position, making myself sick with worry. And that's with the Prozac!

This morning, I ended up telling J, sort of, what happened. Evidently, JJ told him that I said M wasn't coming home (why did I say that to JJ? I was so screwed up in my head last night) so J caught me in my lie. He was nice about it, told me there was nothing I could have done and that it wasn't my fault. I know that, but it was a nice reaction. He says we'll wait a few days, check in to see if he's staying at S's house, then report him as a runaway. Since he handed over his phone when he left, the only way to contact him will be through S, or at school, if he shows up on Monday. I'm ok now, btw, I'm fine, actually. I don't think he's in danger of hurting himself, really, and I'm sure he stayed with S last night. He'll probably come home by tomorrow night.

So. That was my Halloween. I think I'll erase that one from the record books.

We're going to make a Costco run today. It's cold and windy and almost rainy outside (even though last night was gorgeous) and I'm tempted to try my hand at some soup later on. I have very little experience and/or luck with soups and stews, so I haven't decided if that's what I'm going to do or not. Maybe I'll just make a big pot of spaghetti sauce and pick up some fresh Artisan bread while we're out. Later, I'll go visit K if she's up for it. Tomorrow, I hope to meet up with KB for a bit, since she's working now and only has weekends to play. No plans, really, which I'm grateful for. I know hibernating can become unhealthy, but secretly, I love it. :)

I hope you had a great day with your family today. Not being Catholic, I'm not sure what all a Confirmation entails, so I look forward to hearing about it later. It was so nice to chat on the phone yesterday; it definitely was the happy hour in my day!

Love you! A