Avoidance

Hey there, Amanda.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't feeling well, but glad the visit with your parents went well...Other than your brother falling off a ladder, of course! Yikes!

Please don't apologize for your entries. I feel like I never write anything more than Dear Diary entries, unless it's a Dear Food Diary entry. Swear to god, I had a lengthy PS at the end of my entry yesterday that talked about the baked potato I made on Sunday and how it was the best one I've ever had in my life and how it inspired me to want to have a baked potato bar party. lol In any case, I obviously deleted it, because I feel like sometimes all I do is talk about what I cook or eat and drink. Oh well. We're showing up at the page and that's the point.

I stopped to see my mom after school today. She's having knee replacement surgery on Thursday and I knew that if I waited until tomorrow to wish her well, she'd be too nervous and emotional. Well, even a day ahead, she was emotional, and cried when I hugged her, which in turn made me cry a little. It's a contagious thing in my family. At least my father wasn't there, or my sister M, because they would have welled up too and it would have been a cry fest. Instead, I cut the tears short, said everything would be fine, and headed out the door.

Funny, but I remember being nervous and emotional when I had my foot surgery. There's that thought that goes through your head, what if...I'm the person who doesn't come out of anesthesia? What if...something goes terribly wrong? I imagine my mom is entertaining the what ifs even more than I did, given her age, and that she does have heart issues. I know in my heart it will all be fine, that she'll be grateful she had the surgery when she's back to normal, but I certainly understand where she is emotionally right now.

It looks like a tornado went through here, too, only I haven't bothered to straighten up. I am completely unmotivated. I just want to hang out and do nothing. Unfortunately, I'm going to need to snap out of it if I'm going to get ready for Christmas. Today, however, I can't deal.

Hope you have a good day.

Love, Barb