Ugh. I'm so sorry there has to be so much unrest and ugliness ...but I am feeling certain that M will not end your marriage. Remember that you too want to throw your hands up and give up on M at times and just let him go, maybe J is just feeling that same frustration. Keep breathing, keep praying, keep hoping that somehow M gets that what he is doing is wrong and selfish and decides to grow up a little....
Not that I have even an iota of experience with any of it and therefore don't have a right to throw out a penny's worth of advice, never mind my two cents...Which is about all I'll have left to my name when I pick up my car later today.
Yesterday played out as the winter equivalent of that summer day I devote to reading. I finished the book by the 11 o'clock news and kept saying brilliant (you really must read it ASAP) as I walked around and picked up the debris from my lazy day: water glass, espresso cup, snifter, wine glass, empty 100 calorie pack of sun chips. (The second screwdriver was enough. I switched to water, there was no nap, but eventually I made some espresso. I sipped it with a little amaretto as my afternoon sweet, because it felt decadent to, then drank water again. About an hour before the end of the book I poured a glass of wine.) I never got out of my pajamas, which means I didn't shower. It was the perfect way to spend the first day of vacation.
Today I have more ambitious plans to do laundry and clean while I am without a car, then pick up dry cleaning and do some minimal grocery shopping and errand running. I'll be around if you want to talk.
Love,
Barb
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