Cinderella Sucks

Hey, you.

Thanks for the post this morning. Today isn't quite as bright and shiny as yesterday; I woke up with my usual lethargy and feelings of uncertainty and fear. This book is killing me. I didn't finish it last night, but I'm not sure I want to. I don't know that I want to get to the end and find out (as I'm sure I will) that there is no end. Ah, the perils of growing up in the world of happy endings. Thanks a lot, Disney. I know this will not end happily; I know that Sheff's journey continues every day, and will, for the rest of his life. It makes me sad, it drains hope out of my own situation, even though I'm trying so hard not to be pessimistic.

The school called this morning to tell me that M had his third tardy this week, so he'll be serving a lunch detention today. All I could do was sigh, and say "Ok, thanks." What else do I do? In this moment? J is still out of town and we agreed not to do anything until he gets home and we can devise a plan. I feel so on edge; I feel like I should be doing something, right now. I should be calling someone, or going down to the school and pulling M out and sitting him down and working things out (whatever that means). Things are going so well with J that I can't jeopardize it; everyone, and I mean everyone, has said that the most important thing you can do in all of this is to take care of your other relationships. Again and again, I hear that maintaining a united front as parents is key, that nourishing and stabilizing your marriage is the one thing that will get you through to the "end". As we haven't exactly been good at that up to this point, it really is a challenging time to take on the task. But I know I have to do it; I know I can't do this alone. And, above all, I know I can't let this all fall apart, for JJ's sake.

Soooo....I have a few little household chores to get done this morning before I head out to FT. I should be back here by 1:00, which gives us some time to talk before you head out for your red meat fix. I'll try you then,
Love,
A