Smoke 'em if you got 'em

Hey there.

Thanks for writing last night. It is always a treat when I get to read a little from you in the morning as I start my day.

I commend your efforts to stay positive, go to the gym, train for a 5K, and avoid quick and easy escapes. I've said it before, but it bears repeating that I can't imagine how difficult it is for you. I applaud how well you are keeping it together.

Today was one of those days where I just blew a fuse in the middle of the day and couldn't wait for it to be over. I think the standardize testing in the morning brings out the worst in the kids later in the day. Requiring them to focus and not talk for an hour and a half is clearly more than they can handle; asking them to do so later while you're trying to teach is clearly not gonna happen...The kids I saw today have a hard enough time staying on task on days they aren't bubbling answer keys in the morning for the state of Connecticut, so it was just an exercise in futility. Honestly, I couldn't wait to get out and have a cigarette. I never feel that way anymore. I smoke rarely these days--a cigarette a week maybe. But today I was happy to have that old pack in the pocket of my car door. But yes, at least I have a job.

I stopped my by parents' after school, then ran a couple quick errands, and now I am home. In my jammies, with plans to read tonight. I have a pile of recommended reads building up since I read so much less during the school year, and I'd like to spend more time reading. I'm happy these days with the amount of time I'm writing, but I need to read more. It'll be the final push back to my novel, I believe.

W is still in a good mood today, although the Tuft's lead is only for a temp job. He'll take it if they lay him off after, but that's the point of temp jobs, no? So a company doesn't have to pay the unemployment insurance. Making decent money for 2 months won't pay off if ultimately he can't collect unemployment again when the stint is over. He's going to check with the people but I'm afraid I already know the answer, so it's only a matter of time until Doom and Gloom returns to throw things off a bit. D was so right when she said it's like having a third person in the relationship. Indeed. An unwelcome guest.

Still, overall, things are good. I really can't complain, although that's what we all do, right? Is that because that's what we heard our parents doing? I wonder.

I hope you are having a good day. Thanks for the emails.

Love you lots,
Barb