Why I shouldn't drink....

Hey,

I should probably be emailing instead of blogging, as much as I've had to drink tonight. Manhattans, with pomegranate juice, my new poison. K and S and I decided to bypass dinner this evening and go straight to the hooch, while the guys went to the local skank bar, the BLT(avern)... with K's youngest son, TN. By the time they got home, the three of us were several drinks into it and they were several drinks ahead of us. We sat and laughed awhile, but the reality of Little League, and Children Who Need to Be in Bed before Midnight, eventually hit us and it was time to break up the fun. I came home and J got JJ to bed...suddenly it occured to me that I'm missing a kid.

Like a ton of bricks, half a bottle of Maker's Mark came crashing down on me, reminding me that while I have great friends and an ideal 11-year-old, up-and-coming baseball star, I also have a kid just this side of juvie...a kid I don't know, can't talk to, miss terribly....

I want to go to bed and make love with my husband, but I can't. I want to curl up next to JJ and thank God for the good in my life, but I can't. Everything in me wants to curl up on the couch and sink into mindless thought and forget that I'm missing a kid. There's this huge part of my life that's just gone, and nobody gets it.

Being with you was the moment I opened my eyes... - Buckcherry