Hey, A,
Being back to school--after the 2 day workshop--was good. No extra coffee in the morning and no 45 minute lunch outside at a picnic table, but I'd rather teach than sit at a table all day and hear a bunch of blah blah that will never be put in practice.
I tried calling a little while ago, but no answer. Earlier I was sidetracked from writing when I found myself engaged in a text messaging conversation with my Sunshine, who was asked today to be someone's girlfriend. She said no, given that she doesn't like this boy, but clearly it is important that she was asked. As she texted, everyone has a bf. Yikes. I've got my work cut out for me....Yet in the big pond of relativity, I know I'm okay...
Hope you're okay, too, and that today went well....
Love you, B
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Title? are you kidding? I could hardly type the post
Hey you,
I said I would write tonight but it's far too late and I have enjoyed far too much of K's wine, vegan corn dogs and vegan chicken strips (seriously) to be articulate in way, shape or form. Tomorrow, court in the morning then MC at noon - will try to call in between that and baseball.
Love you, A
I said I would write tonight but it's far too late and I have enjoyed far too much of K's wine, vegan corn dogs and vegan chicken strips (seriously) to be articulate in way, shape or form. Tomorrow, court in the morning then MC at noon - will try to call in between that and baseball.
Love you, A
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Snooze and Clip
Hey, Amanda,
No need for apologies. I can well imagine it is hard to stay positive for very long while all this is going on...
Things here are good. I really enjoyed going in a little late today, having extra time to sleep and have coffee before heading over for a loose 8 o'clock start. (Another reason to wish I taught grammar school: kids who hug and appreciate you and a more biologically natural schedule.) And I can't say enough that my life is infinitely easier once hair clip season begins.
And yet there's always a little room for stress...NHS and bills top that list today. But I'm holding on for dear life to that peaceful, easy feeling, appreciating that after being home for 2 or so hours, I went out again, and it was still light! Bonus!
Not much else to report other than my Sunshine is 10 today. I can't believe it. I spoke to her this morning before school and this evening when they were on their way home from Outback. (I take credit for her taste for steak!) She wore one of the outfits I gave her today, so even though I couldn't make it down, I was with her in spirit today.
Hope you're having a better day.
xo,
Barb
PS Cankles are gone.
No need for apologies. I can well imagine it is hard to stay positive for very long while all this is going on...
Things here are good. I really enjoyed going in a little late today, having extra time to sleep and have coffee before heading over for a loose 8 o'clock start. (Another reason to wish I taught grammar school: kids who hug and appreciate you and a more biologically natural schedule.) And I can't say enough that my life is infinitely easier once hair clip season begins.
And yet there's always a little room for stress...NHS and bills top that list today. But I'm holding on for dear life to that peaceful, easy feeling, appreciating that after being home for 2 or so hours, I went out again, and it was still light! Bonus!
Not much else to report other than my Sunshine is 10 today. I can't believe it. I spoke to her this morning before school and this evening when they were on their way home from Outback. (I take credit for her taste for steak!) She wore one of the outfits I gave her today, so even though I couldn't make it down, I was with her in spirit today.
Hope you're having a better day.
xo,
Barb
PS Cankles are gone.
Treading Water
Hey there,
I am so sorry I've been neglecting our blog lately. Last night when you called I was at baseball, and by the time we were done it was too late to call back. I meant to write when I got home, but the evening slipped away (that happens when you get home and eat dinner at 8:30). I picked up a new book at Costco yesterday on a total blind whim - an author I don't know - and tried to get into it at bedtime. I'm such a snob, I swear. It's a crime-mystery-drama type novel, so immediately after the title caught my eye (What the Dead Know) I put it back down and moved on to the real books. I went back, though, curious. I liked the cover. While it is on the NYTBSL, it's not your average dimestore paperback, or so I told myself. I'm a CSI junkie, for God's sake. Who am I to judge crime literature? I'll probably freakin' love that too.
I've been fighting another funk the past few days, so I got up and went to the gym and tanning first thing this morning. That's as far as I've gotten; here I am, sitting on my ass, as usual. I decided last night that I really, really need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move forward with my life, but that's easy to commit to at 10:30 at night, when all I have to do to achieve it at that moment is go to sleep. 8:00 the next morning is a little more of a challenge. I actually have to be productive and return phone calls and clean my house and move among the living. A couple of days ago, I was watching the parents of Amanda Knox on tv, talking about her being over there in Italy. Whether or not she's guilty, who knows. I'm not really following the case. But as I sat there listening to her father, skyping from Rome or wherever she is, I had this tiny epiphany:
Good God, Amanda. Get off your self-pitying ass and get back in the game. You have a troubled teenager. These people are trying to get their kid out of prison in a foreign country. Hello!! Talk about relative!!
The realization empowered me only temporarily; it's like I can't hold on to the momentum. One conversation with K, one phone call from the school, one hour documenting, one person asking "How's M?" - that's all it takes to make me retreat.
I have this friend, actually JT's ex-wife, who (clearly) has had a pretty rough couple of years. Now a single mom raising two kids (ST, the 14-yr old, is following pretty closely in M's footsteps), working full time for the first time in her life...bla bla bla...I swear she's one of the most supportive people in my life right now. She emails me regularly and calls and leaves little pep talk messages on my phone - and you know what? I can't even bother to call her back. Or even email. I just can't engage. I want to reciprocate the support; I do pretty well at my parent support group, listening and helping others, so why can't I be there for T? Or C, my daughter with whom I don't think I've spoken in three weeks. Or you or any of my other friends who might be struggling with equally important or painful life experiences?
I'm drained. MC says that's normal. She says it's normal that I want to nap all the time, this is exhausting. But, again, relativity: is Amanda Knox's family asleep? They're on the flippin' Today Show. I can barely hold audience with my neighbors at the bus stop!!
Yes, I know I have the power to get up and get going. I'm trying - some days I try harder than others. Tonight is our first Family Reconciliation Counseling session with Jeremy, our case worker. This is in-home intensive counseling once or twice a week; we chose to involve K too since M's living there but I tell ya, I wish I had NEVER let him in on this thing in the first place. He's absolutely sabotaging the entire process and making my case workers insane. I supposed the judge will hear all on Thursday (we go to court again) and hopefully K will trip all over himself trying to explain why he's not abiding by the court order. Long story on that - I'll save it for a phone call.
My goal today is to get the house spotless, lest the Parenting Police (aka Jeremy) should note something that screams child abuse! in this terrible, awful place M refuses to call home (he calls it "your house". Whatever.)
Eight weeks is a long time, I know, but hang in there. That's the double edged sword of a great spring break...that whole having to go home part.
I should be home after 3:00 if you are still up for a conversation this afternoon - I'll try to call.
Hope you're having a decent day!
Love,
A
I am so sorry I've been neglecting our blog lately. Last night when you called I was at baseball, and by the time we were done it was too late to call back. I meant to write when I got home, but the evening slipped away (that happens when you get home and eat dinner at 8:30). I picked up a new book at Costco yesterday on a total blind whim - an author I don't know - and tried to get into it at bedtime. I'm such a snob, I swear. It's a crime-mystery-drama type novel, so immediately after the title caught my eye (What the Dead Know) I put it back down and moved on to the real books. I went back, though, curious. I liked the cover. While it is on the NYTBSL, it's not your average dimestore paperback, or so I told myself. I'm a CSI junkie, for God's sake. Who am I to judge crime literature? I'll probably freakin' love that too.
I've been fighting another funk the past few days, so I got up and went to the gym and tanning first thing this morning. That's as far as I've gotten; here I am, sitting on my ass, as usual. I decided last night that I really, really need to stop feeling sorry for myself and move forward with my life, but that's easy to commit to at 10:30 at night, when all I have to do to achieve it at that moment is go to sleep. 8:00 the next morning is a little more of a challenge. I actually have to be productive and return phone calls and clean my house and move among the living. A couple of days ago, I was watching the parents of Amanda Knox on tv, talking about her being over there in Italy. Whether or not she's guilty, who knows. I'm not really following the case. But as I sat there listening to her father, skyping from Rome or wherever she is, I had this tiny epiphany:
Good God, Amanda. Get off your self-pitying ass and get back in the game. You have a troubled teenager. These people are trying to get their kid out of prison in a foreign country. Hello!! Talk about relative!!
The realization empowered me only temporarily; it's like I can't hold on to the momentum. One conversation with K, one phone call from the school, one hour documenting, one person asking "How's M?" - that's all it takes to make me retreat.
I have this friend, actually JT's ex-wife, who (clearly) has had a pretty rough couple of years. Now a single mom raising two kids (ST, the 14-yr old, is following pretty closely in M's footsteps), working full time for the first time in her life...bla bla bla...I swear she's one of the most supportive people in my life right now. She emails me regularly and calls and leaves little pep talk messages on my phone - and you know what? I can't even bother to call her back. Or even email. I just can't engage. I want to reciprocate the support; I do pretty well at my parent support group, listening and helping others, so why can't I be there for T? Or C, my daughter with whom I don't think I've spoken in three weeks. Or you or any of my other friends who might be struggling with equally important or painful life experiences?
I'm drained. MC says that's normal. She says it's normal that I want to nap all the time, this is exhausting. But, again, relativity: is Amanda Knox's family asleep? They're on the flippin' Today Show. I can barely hold audience with my neighbors at the bus stop!!
Yes, I know I have the power to get up and get going. I'm trying - some days I try harder than others. Tonight is our first Family Reconciliation Counseling session with Jeremy, our case worker. This is in-home intensive counseling once or twice a week; we chose to involve K too since M's living there but I tell ya, I wish I had NEVER let him in on this thing in the first place. He's absolutely sabotaging the entire process and making my case workers insane. I supposed the judge will hear all on Thursday (we go to court again) and hopefully K will trip all over himself trying to explain why he's not abiding by the court order. Long story on that - I'll save it for a phone call.
My goal today is to get the house spotless, lest the Parenting Police (aka Jeremy) should note something that screams child abuse! in this terrible, awful place M refuses to call home (he calls it "your house". Whatever.)
Eight weeks is a long time, I know, but hang in there. That's the double edged sword of a great spring break...that whole having to go home part.
I should be home after 3:00 if you are still up for a conversation this afternoon - I'll try to call.
Hope you're having a decent day!
Love,
A
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Ol' College Try
Hey, Amanda.
I'm still good. The weather is still reminiscent of San Diego, and although I had to spend today in the classroom, I'm still good, trying to stay relaxed. I don't want to wish away my life, but I am ready for summer vacation (8 weeks to go), and I'm committed to to being less stressed and happier....despite my cankles that persist even today. (When should I worry that I actually have a kidney problem or something serious and not simply post-flight blotation and call the doctor?)
I'm in a workshop the next two days, which sucks ass, as I hear my students say. First day back and rather than really reconnect with my students and get going on DNA, I had to think of what I could leave for them to do for the next two days with a substitute. Oh well. Since tomorrow it's supposed to get over 90, I'll be happy for the air conditioning in the admin building, and both days I'll enjoy dressing casual and not having to be at work until 8. (See? I really am trying to give this mellow thing the college try!)
But, okay, I am totally feeling out of the loop of your life other than you've been crazy busy gardening.
Can't wait to hear from you!
xo,
Barb
PS I'm seeing flights for $300 to Seattle in August...
I'm still good. The weather is still reminiscent of San Diego, and although I had to spend today in the classroom, I'm still good, trying to stay relaxed. I don't want to wish away my life, but I am ready for summer vacation (8 weeks to go), and I'm committed to to being less stressed and happier....despite my cankles that persist even today. (When should I worry that I actually have a kidney problem or something serious and not simply post-flight blotation and call the doctor?)
I'm in a workshop the next two days, which sucks ass, as I hear my students say. First day back and rather than really reconnect with my students and get going on DNA, I had to think of what I could leave for them to do for the next two days with a substitute. Oh well. Since tomorrow it's supposed to get over 90, I'll be happy for the air conditioning in the admin building, and both days I'll enjoy dressing casual and not having to be at work until 8. (See? I really am trying to give this mellow thing the college try!)
But, okay, I am totally feeling out of the loop of your life other than you've been crazy busy gardening.
Can't wait to hear from you!
xo,
Barb
PS I'm seeing flights for $300 to Seattle in August...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Downhill to June Now!
Ahhhhh! What a wonderful post! I am so happy to hear that you had such a memorable vacation in La Jolla - the pictures were terrific! LOVE the one of you and Sunshine. As for moving to sunny southern CA, yeah, I think it's vacation mode that makes it so desirable. I mean, not every real day starts with a mimosa. Still....something to think about...
Got your text this evening. I was a gardening fool all day long today and didn't have my phone with me at all. I just now checked into the computer (from my own hiatus) figuring you would have written about your trip. I don't mean to be brief on this, your first morning back to work, but I am trying to get JJ into bed and then hit the sack myself. Perhaps tomorrow morning, with my coffee and warm pjs, I'll be up for writing, but right now, I'm beat. We dug out half the front garden today (literally) and began landscaping a whole new look. (Before and after pics to come...)
Tomorrow more planting, but nothing else planned so I will write when I am more alert.
Welcome home!!!!
Love you,
A
Got your text this evening. I was a gardening fool all day long today and didn't have my phone with me at all. I just now checked into the computer (from my own hiatus) figuring you would have written about your trip. I don't mean to be brief on this, your first morning back to work, but I am trying to get JJ into bed and then hit the sack myself. Perhaps tomorrow morning, with my coffee and warm pjs, I'll be up for writing, but right now, I'm beat. We dug out half the front garden today (literally) and began landscaping a whole new look. (Before and after pics to come...)
Tomorrow more planting, but nothing else planned so I will write when I am more alert.
Welcome home!!!!
Love you,
A
Saturday, April 25, 2009
San Diego Sunshine
Dear Amanda,
J says that someone who loves a place as much as I love La Jolla should definitely live there. As if...That's not to say the wheels didn't turn, or that I didn't consider that teachers in California and teachers in Connecticut are paid about the same, but loving the San Diego area (especially La Jolla) and living there are two different things. Would I love year round sun (well...yes) and no seasons (probably not at Christmas)? Would I take its beauty for granted and not take advantage of climate when in the routine of work? That is, do I love it so much because when I'm there I'm on vacation? It’s a favorite vacation destination, but could it be home? I guess the jury is still out…
I assume you can see that what all that means is I had a great time in San Diego! I even cried when I had to come home. J and I really had an awesome time as, honestly, we had not the last time I visited. We laughed a lot, and did fun things.
My first day we spent sitting by the pool; it was glorious. That night we went out for Mexican with her husband, and when we got home joined her neighbors, who were sitting outside, for a couple more margaritas. The next day we went to the beach for a little while (we couldn’t handle much more than an hour of that pure sunshine after our day at the pool) and then out for fish tacos (yum). It was an unseasonable 101 degrees that day, so once we weren’t at the shore with the beautiful breeze, it was a bit too hot to sit out, so we went shopping instead. The next day she and I drove up to Manhattan Beach to see L and J, et. al., who were vacationing with my cousin J at her house. My cousin L (her twin) came over with her children and we had a great family day—lots of laughs and food and fun for all. Wednesday we went to La Jolla and had lunch at George’s on the Cove on the ocean deck. It is seriously one of my favorite places on earth. When we got to the ocean deck I said, I don’t remember dying. While I was eating my burger with Maytag blue cheese and sweet onion marmalade as I looked out on the ocean I said, if I were a cat I’d be purring. We did some shopping/browsing, and walked around so I could take pictures and take it all in. On my last day, J took me to a vineyard in Escondido. We did a tasting and sat outside with a glass of wine, avoiding the fact that it was my last day. That afternoon we stopped for groceries so I could put together an antipasto platter. We sipped mimosas and picked at meats and cheeses on her patio so I could enjoy the view one last time.
In between those things we had other moments that were less touristy but no less memorable…J cooked a nice salmon dinner one night when her step daughter (16) and BFF came over, and I cooked one night to show J my TJs go-to recipes. I got to help J pick out colors for her house (she loves the way it came out) that she had someone paint on Friday after I left. We started every other day with mimosas and ended every night hanging out with her husband in the living room.
Five years ago the energy was much different. ( I think that could be its own entry.) This time around I remember being best friends all those years and how fun it was, which is probably why we were attached at the hip. I needed to reconnect with J as much as I needed the San Diego sunshine, and I did.
Lucky for me, I brought the nice weather home with me. Today and tomorrow are supposed to be 80 and sunny, and I want to get out and enjoy it so I need to get some things done.
I hope all is well with you, and can’t wait to catch up on your week. (I see you took a vacation from our blog, too.)
Love you! Barb
Saturday, April 18, 2009
V-A-C-A-TION!!!
Hi, Amanda.
What I heard in your post was peace...I'm happy that it is done, best case scenario, and that in the process you and J fell in love again. Your post made me smile start to finish. Thanks for that.
Today is the day I head to sunny So Cal. W woke me up a little earlier than I would have liked, but now that I'm awake I know I can use the time. It gives me a chance to write and a chance to clean a little. Coming home to a clean house will be much nicer than walking into a disaster area.
Funny, but last night I found myself at Outback for my 10 dollar dinner that with wine and tip--of course--is significantly more than 10 dollars. I knew that I should hang on to the money for California, but I just couldn't stay in. After I came home and printed my boarding passes, it really hit me that I was on vacation, and it was nice out and I felt like I just had to go out, had to celebrate. And lucky me, my two favorite servers were there. I had a good meal and a good time. Today I hardly regret spending the money.
I hope you had a delightful and romantic dinner for two last night, and that you have a great week. I will definitely call you poolside.
Love you!
Barb
What I heard in your post was peace...I'm happy that it is done, best case scenario, and that in the process you and J fell in love again. Your post made me smile start to finish. Thanks for that.
Today is the day I head to sunny So Cal. W woke me up a little earlier than I would have liked, but now that I'm awake I know I can use the time. It gives me a chance to write and a chance to clean a little. Coming home to a clean house will be much nicer than walking into a disaster area.
Funny, but last night I found myself at Outback for my 10 dollar dinner that with wine and tip--of course--is significantly more than 10 dollars. I knew that I should hang on to the money for California, but I just couldn't stay in. After I came home and printed my boarding passes, it really hit me that I was on vacation, and it was nice out and I felt like I just had to go out, had to celebrate. And lucky me, my two favorite servers were there. I had a good meal and a good time. Today I hardly regret spending the money.
I hope you had a delightful and romantic dinner for two last night, and that you have a great week. I will definitely call you poolside.
Love you!
Barb
Friday, April 17, 2009
Starting Over
Hi there.Yay! You're almost there!! I envy you going someplace sunny, but we do happen to have a pretty good forecast for this area this weekend. We have a double header b-ball game tomorrow and it's supposed to be in the 60's and sunny. Hoo-rah! Right now it's raining, but other than Friday Treats, my whole day's plan is inside so I'm not too bothered.
I am about to send out a blanket email regarding what happened in court yesterday so here, instead, I will write about what a good day we had after we left there. J had decided to take the whole day off, so when we left the court around 11:00, he took me out to lunch.
I'm not sure if I told you that since I have been training for this 5K, he has also taken up running again. He was a bit of a track star in high school but ended up with knee problems and hasn't run since. So far, he's training carefully and doing really well. Anyway, we had this conversation at lunch about being out of shape, and what toll TIM has taken on our health: weight, exercise, drinking, just everything. I nap constantly, I've gained a ton of weight, he even said he had been worried on a couple of occasions at how much alcohol I would consume in one sitting. We decided then that we were going to make health our new addiction; he took me to the running store (that is sponsoring my race) and had me fitted for new running shoes. I had been having such trouble with my calves that I actually thought I wasn't going to be able to run, but wow....the new shoes? Problem solved. After that, we walked down to our gym and worked out for an hour and a half, in the middle of the day, just the two of us...it was awesome.
He went to a meeting later and I got JJ ready for baseball practice - we dropped him off at the field and thought we'd go grocery shopping in our "free time". Instead, we headed over to the pizza place, sat in the bar and had some stuffed mushrooms and a couple of drinks. Just the two of us...it was awesome.
We sat in the parking lot of the ball field waiting for JJ, listening to the Mariner's game on the radio, then when JJ was done, headed home and popped him in the shower. I made some random dinner food (that's like "cheese food" on the box of Velveeta) and we took JJ over to T&S' house. Mind you, this is at 8:40 on a school night, but T assured me that his kids were wired and could stay up til 10:00 - plus, K&R got home from Europe last night and wanted to get all caught up. (This latest TIM thing all happened while they were away.)
And by 9:30 last night, I was sitting in my favorite firepit chair, fire warming my toes, surrounded by some of my dearest friends, sipping a glass of Shiraz and savoring tales about Amsterdam.
Today, Friday treats and various errands...then my loving and wonderful husband with whom I am madly in love, is taking me out to dinner, just the two of us. (JJ is going to B's after school and spending the night!) T insisted last night that we all do dinner together tonight, but J said no, he was taking his wife out. I'm sure we'll hook up with everyone later on, but I'm looking forward to dressing up a little and sipping a martini across a candlelit table from my guy.
Heaven, relatively speaking. It's all relative, have I mentioned that?
Like I said, double header Little League tomorrow, then going to the minor league ball game Sunday (we're too cheap to pay for Mariner's tickets, even though they're kind of on fire right now).
I feel so much better today (check your email) and like a huge weight has been lifted. Not all the weight, and certainly the empty spot in my heart is not even remotely gone, but I feel better. I feel empowered and positive and a little less like spending my day on the couch.
Speaking of which, I must get a move on if I'm to push sugar on the playground today. I will be on my cell all day, so call if you want to chat (or just brag about going on vacation!) - or I will talk to you while you are sitting poolside in So Cal.
Love you!!
A
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Countdown
Hey there, Amanda.
I just saw the extended forecast for these parts for new week, and all I can say is thank god I’m going to sunny southern California! It’s only going to be 48 and very rainy here on Monday, a classic Nor’easter that last month would have been a major snowstorm. Honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that, either way—rain or snow. I am so ready for sun and spring and to be done with my SAD I can hardly stand it. Fortunately, the extended forecast for San Diego shows sun and temps in the 80s: exactly what I need.
I should do some packing tonight, but I’m feeling a bit lazy. I went out for a couple of drinks with C after school, then went to Macy’s (to pick up a black top I’ve been thinking about since I bought one in white) and now I’m happy to be writing and playing with my new software (J got me a great deal on a software package). Of course it’s no hurry for me to pack because I don’t fly out until Saturday afternoon, but I should at least make my lists tonight.
I’ll definitely write again before I leave, tomorrow and/or Saturday morning, but I’m not sure I’ll blog at all while at J’s. I’ll text or email, but I’m not sure I’ll get private computer time…I guess I’ll have a lot to catch up on when I get back.
Hope all is well and that you’re still holding it together as well as you were when we last spoke.
Love,
Barb
PS I am hoping W will hear from Dana Farber tomorrow and that he will be offered the job…Please send white light if you could.
I just saw the extended forecast for these parts for new week, and all I can say is thank god I’m going to sunny southern California! It’s only going to be 48 and very rainy here on Monday, a classic Nor’easter that last month would have been a major snowstorm. Honestly, I’m not sure I could handle that, either way—rain or snow. I am so ready for sun and spring and to be done with my SAD I can hardly stand it. Fortunately, the extended forecast for San Diego shows sun and temps in the 80s: exactly what I need.
I should do some packing tonight, but I’m feeling a bit lazy. I went out for a couple of drinks with C after school, then went to Macy’s (to pick up a black top I’ve been thinking about since I bought one in white) and now I’m happy to be writing and playing with my new software (J got me a great deal on a software package). Of course it’s no hurry for me to pack because I don’t fly out until Saturday afternoon, but I should at least make my lists tonight.
I’ll definitely write again before I leave, tomorrow and/or Saturday morning, but I’m not sure I’ll blog at all while at J’s. I’ll text or email, but I’m not sure I’ll get private computer time…I guess I’ll have a lot to catch up on when I get back.
Hope all is well and that you’re still holding it together as well as you were when we last spoke.
Love,
Barb
PS I am hoping W will hear from Dana Farber tomorrow and that he will be offered the job…Please send white light if you could.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Minnows
Hey, Amanda,
Thanks for writing! Whether or not it was written during an extended period of avoidance, it is always nice to read from you. Likewise, it was nice to hear your voice yesterday. Thanks for listening to my crap, which I know in the grand scheme of fish tales rates at about a minnow. (And yes, I hear you now saying it's all relative...)
As you know I took the day off to take care of medical appointments (ok, I called in sick because I had to get weighed and splayed). I slept in first and packed a little (those things I wouldn't wear between now and Saturday), then went out to lunch after. I also stopped by my parents' and M's this evening, just cuz...or not... I know you understand.
I'm going to try to call you now, but you may be at group or at JJ's baseball game. If I don't catch you, I'll call in the next couple of days.
Love you!
Barb
Thanks for writing! Whether or not it was written during an extended period of avoidance, it is always nice to read from you. Likewise, it was nice to hear your voice yesterday. Thanks for listening to my crap, which I know in the grand scheme of fish tales rates at about a minnow. (And yes, I hear you now saying it's all relative...)
As you know I took the day off to take care of medical appointments (ok, I called in sick because I had to get weighed and splayed). I slept in first and packed a little (those things I wouldn't wear between now and Saturday), then went out to lunch after. I also stopped by my parents' and M's this evening, just cuz...or not... I know you understand.
I'm going to try to call you now, but you may be at group or at JJ's baseball game. If I don't catch you, I'll call in the next couple of days.
Love you!
Barb
Pretending
Hey,
I couldn't be more in avoidance mode if my life depended on it. I think I've done everything within my physical abilities to not get this documentation done for tomorrow; let's see: I've watched all the morning tv shows, taken my shower, done all the laundry, talked to my mom on the phone, talked to S on the phone, spent longer than normal chatting at the bus stop, played two or three hundred games of computer solitaire, made chicken soup from scratch, ate it, did the dishes, bought new songs on iTunes, talked myself into liking the new Lady Gaga song, arranged for my friend JT to come give me an estimate on getting a new window...hmmm. Think I've got it all. Oh wait! Maybe I'll blog for a bit.
Now it's 2 in the afternoon and I haven't even opened the file. Not that it's hard, really. It's just so much reliving and rethinking I can't bear it. I'm having a horrible coping day today. J came home for lunch and asked if I was going to JJ's game or to my support group tonight. I have to go to the game; the thought of trying to share this all out loud put me in tears right there at the kitchen counter.
I do have to start the writing part though, but I wanted to say hello and thanks for talking yesterday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for W and the job; and since I'm all spiritual and shit these days, I said a prayer for your sis too.
Favorite song lyric this week:
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees - Mat Kearney, Closer to Love
Must stop avoiding now. Really.
Love you!
A
I couldn't be more in avoidance mode if my life depended on it. I think I've done everything within my physical abilities to not get this documentation done for tomorrow; let's see: I've watched all the morning tv shows, taken my shower, done all the laundry, talked to my mom on the phone, talked to S on the phone, spent longer than normal chatting at the bus stop, played two or three hundred games of computer solitaire, made chicken soup from scratch, ate it, did the dishes, bought new songs on iTunes, talked myself into liking the new Lady Gaga song, arranged for my friend JT to come give me an estimate on getting a new window...hmmm. Think I've got it all. Oh wait! Maybe I'll blog for a bit.
Now it's 2 in the afternoon and I haven't even opened the file. Not that it's hard, really. It's just so much reliving and rethinking I can't bear it. I'm having a horrible coping day today. J came home for lunch and asked if I was going to JJ's game or to my support group tonight. I have to go to the game; the thought of trying to share this all out loud put me in tears right there at the kitchen counter.
I do have to start the writing part though, but I wanted to say hello and thanks for talking yesterday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for W and the job; and since I'm all spiritual and shit these days, I said a prayer for your sis too.
Favorite song lyric this week:
I guess we're all one phone call from our knees - Mat Kearney, Closer to Love
Must stop avoiding now. Really.
Love you!
A
Monday, April 13, 2009
More Highs and Lows
Hey there.
How are you? J is back to school, right? And M? Is he home? How was Easter?
Mine was good, and then not...
Dinner with my family was good. I couldn’t help but recall Easter of last year. My cousin D is in such a different place than she was then. She was so sick with cancer this time last year, literally on her death bed, told she had a small chance of living a year. And now, though she has 3 spots on her bones, so much of the cancer is gone and those 3 spots haven’t spread since Christmas. What a miraculous year it has been for her, for all of us, that she is still with us and apparently healthy, feeling and looking good.
Once my cousins and their kids and my aunts and uncle left, it was just my parents and me and my sisters, their husbands and kids. All of the kids are on vacation this week (I’m the only one not) and therefore no one was really in a hurry to leave. We helped my mom clean up and hung out together, which was nice. The L called me outside for a quick conference and told me that J saw M put vodka in her soda. We both felt sick.
When we got back in the house, M was pouring my mother a drink, so the jury is still out. Is that the vodka J saw her pouring, or earlier in the day had he seen her drinking on the sly?
~~~
If only. I got clarification--via fast and furious texting during a study hall--from L that J saw M pour and drink the vodka, then make my mother a cocktail. Super. Let the games begin.
L and I are still sick about it, but decided on the following action plan. When M goes to pick A up tonight (A went with L et. al. for an overnight) L will confront her. I suppose that works out nicely since L is in recovery too, and has been for a year longer than M. I guess first we try to figure out if it was her first fall off the wagon or if this is how she's been coping lately...
From there we figure out what to do next.
Have I mentioned lately, need I mention that I'm really ready for vacation?....
Hoping you're okay.
Love,
Barb
How are you? J is back to school, right? And M? Is he home? How was Easter?
Mine was good, and then not...
Dinner with my family was good. I couldn’t help but recall Easter of last year. My cousin D is in such a different place than she was then. She was so sick with cancer this time last year, literally on her death bed, told she had a small chance of living a year. And now, though she has 3 spots on her bones, so much of the cancer is gone and those 3 spots haven’t spread since Christmas. What a miraculous year it has been for her, for all of us, that she is still with us and apparently healthy, feeling and looking good.
Once my cousins and their kids and my aunts and uncle left, it was just my parents and me and my sisters, their husbands and kids. All of the kids are on vacation this week (I’m the only one not) and therefore no one was really in a hurry to leave. We helped my mom clean up and hung out together, which was nice. The L called me outside for a quick conference and told me that J saw M put vodka in her soda. We both felt sick.
When we got back in the house, M was pouring my mother a drink, so the jury is still out. Is that the vodka J saw her pouring, or earlier in the day had he seen her drinking on the sly?
~~~
If only. I got clarification--via fast and furious texting during a study hall--from L that J saw M pour and drink the vodka, then make my mother a cocktail. Super. Let the games begin.
L and I are still sick about it, but decided on the following action plan. When M goes to pick A up tonight (A went with L et. al. for an overnight) L will confront her. I suppose that works out nicely since L is in recovery too, and has been for a year longer than M. I guess first we try to figure out if it was her first fall off the wagon or if this is how she's been coping lately...
From there we figure out what to do next.
Have I mentioned lately, need I mention that I'm really ready for vacation?....
Hoping you're okay.
Love,
Barb
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Highs and Lows
Hello, Amanda.
Alas, I am home....We had a wonderful time, of course, and watching the weather worked in our favor. We had a gorgeous day yesterday to walk around Faneuil Hall and Haymarket, and today is rainy and cold. That is, tonight will be a perfect night for getting under a blanket and missing W. This was one of those visits when I cried when we said goodbye...
Tomorrow I'll spend Easter with my family, after a leisurely morning to myself. I plan on my indulgent breakfast with mimosas and my Sunday call with D, then I'll make my wilted spinach salad with the warm bacon vinaigrette to take to my mom's. And if it sinks in, as it should, that I leave for San Diego in a week, I should attempt some laundry and pre-packing between now and then...looking for those Capris and tees that haven't seen the light of day in months and months.
I really am looking forward to my trip (although I must say that the see you after I get back from California; I'll miss you while I'm there was part of the tears). It has been great talking to J as often as we have been but it'll be even better to sit and talk in person with her...just as it will be when I make my way to the PNW to see you. Technology is great--cells and text messaging and emails and blogs--but there's still something about the real thing, flesh and blood, that connects in a way technology can't.
If I don't write tomorrow--Happy Easter to you. (What will you be doing?...How's everything with TIM?....)
Love you!
Barb
Alas, I am home....We had a wonderful time, of course, and watching the weather worked in our favor. We had a gorgeous day yesterday to walk around Faneuil Hall and Haymarket, and today is rainy and cold. That is, tonight will be a perfect night for getting under a blanket and missing W. This was one of those visits when I cried when we said goodbye...
Tomorrow I'll spend Easter with my family, after a leisurely morning to myself. I plan on my indulgent breakfast with mimosas and my Sunday call with D, then I'll make my wilted spinach salad with the warm bacon vinaigrette to take to my mom's. And if it sinks in, as it should, that I leave for San Diego in a week, I should attempt some laundry and pre-packing between now and then...looking for those Capris and tees that haven't seen the light of day in months and months.
I really am looking forward to my trip (although I must say that the see you after I get back from California; I'll miss you while I'm there was part of the tears). It has been great talking to J as often as we have been but it'll be even better to sit and talk in person with her...just as it will be when I make my way to the PNW to see you. Technology is great--cells and text messaging and emails and blogs--but there's still something about the real thing, flesh and blood, that connects in a way technology can't.
If I don't write tomorrow--Happy Easter to you. (What will you be doing?...How's everything with TIM?....)
Love you!
Barb
Friday, April 10, 2009
Bright and Sunny
Hi there.
It's Friday, it's sunny, and the beginning of a long weekend. I feel better and I'm headed to Boston to celebrate W's birthday and our sort-of anniversary. We met 4 years ago and although our first date was not until May, we go back to the same restaurant in Faneuil Hall where we had our first date for his birthday and an anniversary celebration. Today is a perfect day to walk around. I can't wait to get there!...and so this will be very brief. It's time to get ready to go.
I wonder what you have going on this weekend...Hope all is well.
Love,
Barb
It's Friday, it's sunny, and the beginning of a long weekend. I feel better and I'm headed to Boston to celebrate W's birthday and our sort-of anniversary. We met 4 years ago and although our first date was not until May, we go back to the same restaurant in Faneuil Hall where we had our first date for his birthday and an anniversary celebration. Today is a perfect day to walk around. I can't wait to get there!...and so this will be very brief. It's time to get ready to go.
I wonder what you have going on this weekend...Hope all is well.
Love,
Barb
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
On the Mend
Oink oink. I just ate an entire steak and cheese sub. I must be on the mend....
At some point I felt so bad today at school that I wasn't sure I'd make it through the day, and while I struggled I thought about leaving lesson plans for tomorrow, but now that I think I'm through the worst of it (and have been warned that I'll be coughing for a month) I will rally another day. I kept my appointment for a haircut and highlight after school (looks great) but cancelled dinner plans with C, so on my way home I found myself hungry and wondering what to do for dinner. A steak and cheese sub somehow got into my brain, so I stopped for one to go from an Italian restaurant/pizza place down the street.
I really wasn't intending to eat the entire thing, but just as I walked in the door, J called from Paris and started talking about croissants and crepes and it took great restraint to eat only 1/4 of it while standing in the kitchen talking to her. I walked away and sat down the couch and we talked. When we hung up a half-hour later all bets were off. I ate the rest--1/4 at a time. The worst part? I'm not sure I'm full....I am, however, ready for a glass of wine.
Great talking to you yesterday as well. (lol re: Brenda Vacarro) (simultaneous laugh and gag re: sunglasses in the toilet) Hope all is well, and that you got yourself some new jeans.
Love,
Barb
At some point I felt so bad today at school that I wasn't sure I'd make it through the day, and while I struggled I thought about leaving lesson plans for tomorrow, but now that I think I'm through the worst of it (and have been warned that I'll be coughing for a month) I will rally another day. I kept my appointment for a haircut and highlight after school (looks great) but cancelled dinner plans with C, so on my way home I found myself hungry and wondering what to do for dinner. A steak and cheese sub somehow got into my brain, so I stopped for one to go from an Italian restaurant/pizza place down the street.
I really wasn't intending to eat the entire thing, but just as I walked in the door, J called from Paris and started talking about croissants and crepes and it took great restraint to eat only 1/4 of it while standing in the kitchen talking to her. I walked away and sat down the couch and we talked. When we hung up a half-hour later all bets were off. I ate the rest--1/4 at a time. The worst part? I'm not sure I'm full....I am, however, ready for a glass of wine.
Great talking to you yesterday as well. (lol re: Brenda Vacarro) (simultaneous laugh and gag re: sunglasses in the toilet) Hope all is well, and that you got yourself some new jeans.
Love,
Barb
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Too Late to Be Profound...Dear Diary instead!
Hey there.
I had the whole evening mapped out: dinner and a movie, then some solitary writing time, and early to bed. When JJ and I walked in the door from baseball at nine o'clock, it was an hour before we had finished shower, dinner and half the Mariner's game. I finally got him in to bed at 10:20, at which point I turned into a pool of jello on the couch and channel surfed for an hour. Honest to God, I didn't find a single show worth watching on the gazillion new channels I get. You'd think I would have gotten up and come in here to write, but no. I was stuck.
So, here it is, 11:45. Dinner was a take-n-bake pizza, movie was the ballgame, and this is my writing. Not much to brag about.
JJ's team kicked booty tonight at b-ball. They were playing a team that whooped them in the last game, so they were focused. Even JJ played the top of his game. The weather was outstanding...sitting there on the bleachers sans parka, sans blanket, sans hand warmers inside gloves inside pockets...just kicked back in the sun, wearing my new shades and sipping my Americano, while my kid played ball. Now that's baseball.
~ ~
Why do I have new shades? I dropped the old ones in the toilet at Walmart. I sat there and agonized over what to do, thought it would be rude to leave them there for the janitor to figure out, but once I'd fished them out I couldn't stand the thought of carrying them out into the bathroom....so I put them in the tampax garbage can. I killed myself, though, with my reaction, as they slid from my cleavage to the bowl: "Shoot!" I said, as in, "Oh my goodness! How'd that happen?"
~~
So it's late and I'm tired and thank God we have late start tomorrow. I love Wednesdays! Tomorrow K and I are going to get nails and toes done, probably go out to lunch, then if I can talk her into it, make a trip to this very cool clothing boutique two towns over that specializes in jeans. Spendy, but the selection is unbeatable and I am seriously in need of a pair of jeans. I mean, specifically, a pair that doesn't make me look like a 16 year old wanna be gansta. Like the pair I have now. The only pair. After that, J should be home and then my boys are off to baseball and I've got to go to some homeowner's meeting...I'm sure it's really important but it's soooo the kind of thing to which I hate trying to pay attention. I'm so bad at that stuff; I wish J would just go and get the info we need, and explain it to me, so I don't end up feeling like Downey in A Few Good Men again. "Hal? What's that mean, Hal?"
Off to bed now...hope you are feeling better this morning and are ready for the downhill slide of the week. It was great to hear your voice today, even if it was a little Brenda Vaccaro-ish.
Love you! A
PS: Why are anteaters so healthy?
Because they're full of little ant-ibodies!
I had the whole evening mapped out: dinner and a movie, then some solitary writing time, and early to bed. When JJ and I walked in the door from baseball at nine o'clock, it was an hour before we had finished shower, dinner and half the Mariner's game. I finally got him in to bed at 10:20, at which point I turned into a pool of jello on the couch and channel surfed for an hour. Honest to God, I didn't find a single show worth watching on the gazillion new channels I get. You'd think I would have gotten up and come in here to write, but no. I was stuck.
So, here it is, 11:45. Dinner was a take-n-bake pizza, movie was the ballgame, and this is my writing. Not much to brag about.
JJ's team kicked booty tonight at b-ball. They were playing a team that whooped them in the last game, so they were focused. Even JJ played the top of his game. The weather was outstanding...sitting there on the bleachers sans parka, sans blanket, sans hand warmers inside gloves inside pockets...just kicked back in the sun, wearing my new shades and sipping my Americano, while my kid played ball. Now that's baseball.
~ ~
Why do I have new shades? I dropped the old ones in the toilet at Walmart. I sat there and agonized over what to do, thought it would be rude to leave them there for the janitor to figure out, but once I'd fished them out I couldn't stand the thought of carrying them out into the bathroom....so I put them in the tampax garbage can. I killed myself, though, with my reaction, as they slid from my cleavage to the bowl: "Shoot!" I said, as in, "Oh my goodness! How'd that happen?"
~~
So it's late and I'm tired and thank God we have late start tomorrow. I love Wednesdays! Tomorrow K and I are going to get nails and toes done, probably go out to lunch, then if I can talk her into it, make a trip to this very cool clothing boutique two towns over that specializes in jeans. Spendy, but the selection is unbeatable and I am seriously in need of a pair of jeans. I mean, specifically, a pair that doesn't make me look like a 16 year old wanna be gansta. Like the pair I have now. The only pair. After that, J should be home and then my boys are off to baseball and I've got to go to some homeowner's meeting...I'm sure it's really important but it's soooo the kind of thing to which I hate trying to pay attention. I'm so bad at that stuff; I wish J would just go and get the info we need, and explain it to me, so I don't end up feeling like Downey in A Few Good Men again. "Hal? What's that mean, Hal?"
Off to bed now...hope you are feeling better this morning and are ready for the downhill slide of the week. It was great to hear your voice today, even if it was a little Brenda Vaccaro-ish.
Love you! A
PS: Why are anteaters so healthy?
Because they're full of little ant-ibodies!
Monday, April 6, 2009
April Showers...
Hey there.
Great to hear from you! Sounds like you had a great weekend, complete with super weather. I'm glad you could take advantage of the weather and C's company to feel good.
So jealous of your weather, although we had a decent day yesterday—60 and sunny, but now we’re going to get rain and only be in the 50s for the next few days. M is my friend who was my partner in crime the day I met W. (He and I were just there a couple of weeks ago to visit her and J, the other friend I know through my lifelong friend/high school BFF J, who happens to be in Paris this week!) Now that you mention it, I may have called her something else so as not to confuse the first initial with my sister. I hope I’ve clarified rather than confused you thoroughly. Anyway, we had fun. It was just us, and her son, but he was mainly playing with neighborhood kids. We started out on the deck, then moved inside when it got a little chilly and it was time for dinner. Her grill wasn’t working so we ended up sautéing the shrimp for our Caesar salads. It was a perfect no-fuss, fresh and light meal. And it was nice to catch up with her.
Today is L’s birthday, and I had told her I’d drive down for dinner since her husband is away on business, but I have a f—ed up chest cold. I think the string of migraines I had last weekend and early last week came from sinus congestion, which ended up as on and off laryngitis late last week, and now has settled in my chest. I sound awful, although I don’t feel that bad. Still, driving an hour each way in the rain is not necessarily an attractive evening plan. I’ll see how the day feels a little later before deciding for sure whether or not to back out on her.
Good luck with M today. I’m still sending white light…
Love,
Barb
Great to hear from you! Sounds like you had a great weekend, complete with super weather. I'm glad you could take advantage of the weather and C's company to feel good.
So jealous of your weather, although we had a decent day yesterday—60 and sunny, but now we’re going to get rain and only be in the 50s for the next few days. M is my friend who was my partner in crime the day I met W. (He and I were just there a couple of weeks ago to visit her and J, the other friend I know through my lifelong friend/high school BFF J, who happens to be in Paris this week!) Now that you mention it, I may have called her something else so as not to confuse the first initial with my sister. I hope I’ve clarified rather than confused you thoroughly. Anyway, we had fun. It was just us, and her son, but he was mainly playing with neighborhood kids. We started out on the deck, then moved inside when it got a little chilly and it was time for dinner. Her grill wasn’t working so we ended up sautéing the shrimp for our Caesar salads. It was a perfect no-fuss, fresh and light meal. And it was nice to catch up with her.
Today is L’s birthday, and I had told her I’d drive down for dinner since her husband is away on business, but I have a f—ed up chest cold. I think the string of migraines I had last weekend and early last week came from sinus congestion, which ended up as on and off laryngitis late last week, and now has settled in my chest. I sound awful, although I don’t feel that bad. Still, driving an hour each way in the rain is not necessarily an attractive evening plan. I’ll see how the day feels a little later before deciding for sure whether or not to back out on her.
Good luck with M today. I’m still sending white light…
Love,
Barb
Sunday, April 5, 2009
sun = the best medicine
Remember last Sunday? When I posted the picture of the blizzard? Well, this is pretty much how our day was this Sunday. No lie. From the moment I woke up and headed out to do my 5K training, when it was too warm to bother with a sweatshirt, right up to the moment we left T&S's deck, this evening at 8:00, when most of us had finally given in to a little fleece over our tank tops, it was the most beautiful day since last summer. We did yard work and washed cars and sat on the deck drinking Cosmos and wearing sunglasses ...barefoot... amazing! What a way to end spring break. And the promise of continuing sunshine, at least for a couple of days, with the kids in school...wow, who could ask for more?So...I'm sorry, too, that I haven't written all weekend. After we left the courthouse on Thursday, I was a bit of a wreck. Kenneth stopped by (I'll tell you about that later) and then I took a nap; finally I had to choose between paralysis and life, and I chose life. C, J and I went out running silly errands, then ended up over at S&T's, with K&R, for dinner. Bro J and CC came over too and it was a great, great evening of family and friends and processing and support and drinking until it all went away. Friday C and I hung out doing nothing in particular, then took JJ and B to the local pool while we walked the track. We had wine club that night, which was more or less boring...I'm kind of done with that crowd, but that's another story.
Yesterday we dropped JJ and B off at B's house and the three of us went down to the local Spring Parade. It was actually a lot of fun and so nice to be out in the sun, just kicking back. We went out to dinner at one of our favorite waterfront restaurants later; it was a terrific family dinner, even with our missing piece. The four of us talked and laughed and ate and ate and ate; even JJ loved it, regardless of the fact that he practically fell asleep in his mac and cheese.
Today, like I said, was like a dose of July right here in the beginning of April. We were outside all day; the kids even set up the sprinkler in the backyard. It was TA's 8th birthday (T&S's youngest son) so the whole gang was over there eating burgers and cake and various other junk food until it was time to put the little rugrats in bed, ready for school tomorrow. C was supposed to head home at noon, but her parents are so much darn fun she didn't leave until just now. :-)
Tomorrow, it's time to face my real life again. I guess we're going to try to bring M home. I have hardly thought about it/him all weekend, as was my plan. J and I agreed that we wouldn't spend our entire weekend with C (so rare) on stressing about M. It was such a nice break, but, as we all know, it doesn't go away. So I'll try to get a good night's sleep and wake up positive and hopeful. I suppose that's the best I can do.
Hey, speaking of "M" - who is "M" in your post today??? Glad to hear you had a relaxing weekend; maybe we can catch up by phone this week. Any word from W on the job?
Love you,
A
Lazy Days
Hey there.
Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days, I have just been kind of lazy. I was exhausted on Friday and yesterday was one of those weekend days that I caught a buzz in the afternoon and was useless all evening. I so rarely allow myself to spend any length of time horizontal on the couch though that I enjoyed it. I think I needed it.
Today, after exercising and my breakfast and my Sunday chat with D, I am going over M's to grill. It'll just be the two of us and her son. We're having grilled shrimp Caesar salads--She's got the shrimp, I'm bringing the Romaine and homemade croutons. Just for fun, I also am going to bring some prosciutto wrapped melon. I guess what that means is that somewhere in between my typical Sunday morning routines and going over M's, I have some croutons to make, melon to cut and wrap, and lettuce to wash and spin. It's all good.
I have been thinking about you, hoping that you are doing well, still feeling the support of friends and family. I think Casey may still be there, but am not sure. Tomorrow I am off to L's right after school for her birthday so I won't be around and probably won't write. If you feel like talking tonight, I should be home by 8...
Love,
Barb
Sorry I haven't written in a couple of days, I have just been kind of lazy. I was exhausted on Friday and yesterday was one of those weekend days that I caught a buzz in the afternoon and was useless all evening. I so rarely allow myself to spend any length of time horizontal on the couch though that I enjoyed it. I think I needed it.
Today, after exercising and my breakfast and my Sunday chat with D, I am going over M's to grill. It'll just be the two of us and her son. We're having grilled shrimp Caesar salads--She's got the shrimp, I'm bringing the Romaine and homemade croutons. Just for fun, I also am going to bring some prosciutto wrapped melon. I guess what that means is that somewhere in between my typical Sunday morning routines and going over M's, I have some croutons to make, melon to cut and wrap, and lettuce to wash and spin. It's all good.
I have been thinking about you, hoping that you are doing well, still feeling the support of friends and family. I think Casey may still be there, but am not sure. Tomorrow I am off to L's right after school for her birthday so I won't be around and probably won't write. If you feel like talking tonight, I should be home by 8...
Love,
Barb
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Moments We'd Like To Not Have To Live
Hi, Barb.
Thanks for the note tonight. C went with me to my support group and it was very helpful. I'm so glad I went tonight and learned some valuable info for tomorrow. We got home about an hour ago, ate some dinner then visited with the boys...now I can no longer avoid going to bed, which is the equivalent of facing reality.
Had a very good day today. Ran errands with my kids, finished up some paperwork, took a nap, ate well, worked out...I guess I couldn't have asked for much more. I'm all ready to go for tomorrow morning (mentally, physically) and just anxious for it to be over. I know I will have to remain emotionally composed so I'm enjoying a glass of wine now in the hopes that I will sleep well. There is the significant possibility that M will be ordered to return home with us right after the hearing, so we need to have a plan in place for that. The likelihood of him complying with the court order is pretty low, though, so we may spend the better part of the day filing our contempt of court petition. Already.
I'm just not looking forward to any of it. I have a 1:30 appointment to get my hair cut and part of me can't wait for the relaxation time, part of me wishes I hadn't booked that on this particular day. I may cancel, who knows. Right now, my hair is annoying me so much I'd be willing to get it cut tonight.
Going to run through my paperwork one more time to make sure that I've got everything. I'm sure I do, twice, three times over, but I'm a little OCD about this whole thing. Then I'm off to bed...perhaps I should take a half an Ambien to make sure???
I will talk to you tomorrow, one way or the other, here or on the phone.
Thanks for all the positive energy...love you,
A
Thanks for the note tonight. C went with me to my support group and it was very helpful. I'm so glad I went tonight and learned some valuable info for tomorrow. We got home about an hour ago, ate some dinner then visited with the boys...now I can no longer avoid going to bed, which is the equivalent of facing reality.
Had a very good day today. Ran errands with my kids, finished up some paperwork, took a nap, ate well, worked out...I guess I couldn't have asked for much more. I'm all ready to go for tomorrow morning (mentally, physically) and just anxious for it to be over. I know I will have to remain emotionally composed so I'm enjoying a glass of wine now in the hopes that I will sleep well. There is the significant possibility that M will be ordered to return home with us right after the hearing, so we need to have a plan in place for that. The likelihood of him complying with the court order is pretty low, though, so we may spend the better part of the day filing our contempt of court petition. Already.
I'm just not looking forward to any of it. I have a 1:30 appointment to get my hair cut and part of me can't wait for the relaxation time, part of me wishes I hadn't booked that on this particular day. I may cancel, who knows. Right now, my hair is annoying me so much I'd be willing to get it cut tonight.
Going to run through my paperwork one more time to make sure that I've got everything. I'm sure I do, twice, three times over, but I'm a little OCD about this whole thing. Then I'm off to bed...perhaps I should take a half an Ambien to make sure???
I will talk to you tomorrow, one way or the other, here or on the phone.
Thanks for all the positive energy...love you,
A
Resisting Ramen
Hey, A.
It's a little dreary here today, but I haven't gotten a migraine yet, so I'm counting it as a good day.
Same ol' same ol' at school today, then I got my nails done after, so I'm a little drowsy from the Benadryl and don't feel like cooking, but I am hungry. All this leaves me trying to resist some Ramen noodles. I should probably just go ahead and eat them now, because the later I give in, the more likely to be bloated in the morning. At least if I eat them now I can drink water for 3 hours.
Clearly I have nothing to report. I guess I just wanted to say hi. I hope you're enjoying vacation week and your visit with C. White light for tomorrow.
xo,
Barb
It's a little dreary here today, but I haven't gotten a migraine yet, so I'm counting it as a good day.
Same ol' same ol' at school today, then I got my nails done after, so I'm a little drowsy from the Benadryl and don't feel like cooking, but I am hungry. All this leaves me trying to resist some Ramen noodles. I should probably just go ahead and eat them now, because the later I give in, the more likely to be bloated in the morning. At least if I eat them now I can drink water for 3 hours.
Clearly I have nothing to report. I guess I just wanted to say hi. I hope you're enjoying vacation week and your visit with C. White light for tomorrow.
xo,
Barb
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