Pretending

Hey,

I couldn't be more in avoidance mode if my life depended on it. I think I've done everything within my physical abilities to not get this documentation done for tomorrow; let's see: I've watched all the morning tv shows, taken my shower, done all the laundry, talked to my mom on the phone, talked to S on the phone, spent longer than normal chatting at the bus stop, played two or three hundred games of computer solitaire, made chicken soup from scratch, ate it, did the dishes, bought new songs on iTunes, talked myself into liking the new Lady Gaga song, arranged for my friend JT to come give me an estimate on getting a new window...hmmm. Think I've got it all. Oh wait! Maybe I'll blog for a bit.

Now it's 2 in the afternoon and I haven't even opened the file. Not that it's hard, really. It's just so much reliving and rethinking I can't bear it. I'm having a horrible coping day today. J came home for lunch and asked if I was going to JJ's game or to my support group tonight. I have to go to the game; the thought of trying to share this all out loud put me in tears right there at the kitchen counter.

I do have to start the writing part though, but I wanted to say hello and thanks for talking yesterday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for W and the job; and since I'm all spiritual and shit these days, I said a prayer for your sis too.

Favorite song lyric this week:

I guess we're all one phone call from our knees - Mat Kearney, Closer to Love

Must stop avoiding now. Really.

Love you!
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