No Need to Nurse My Neuroses

Hey, you.

Don't feel bad; it's just me, being my usual overly-self-conscious self.

Sidenote: I am working on not reading Guilt Trip into everything everyone says to me. I have this friend, SB, who truly is the most guilt tripping person I have ever met, and I really struggle with her. J has been trying to help me deal with her more effectively (since he is completely unaffected by guilt in any form) and I am beginning to see that much of the guilt "she puts on me", I put on myself. Or, rather, I accept. I am learning not to accept it, for one. But more importantly, I'm learning not to invent it when it's not even there! My new motto: No one can drive you crazy unless you give them the keys.

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I hated to read that you were feeling broke after being so good about taking care of your car. That totally sucks and I can totally relate. It feels good to be responsible but the payoff kind of sucks in the end. Believe me, this paying for college is a painfully right thing to do! But you will be glad in the end, you know that. Nothing worse than the car hitting the shits when you need it. Like in the middle of a snowstorm. Oh, wait, that was me.

On Veteran's Day, go frolic in the the leaves, for Pete's sake. I'm pretty sure the intention isn't to relive all the horror, but to celebrate the freedoms we have. One of those is the privilege of being joyful, so I say we go for it. I think it ought to be more like the Fourth of July, anyway. It's essentially the same holiday, right? Celebrating all the people who gave their lives for our freedom? Why are we sitting in the gym listening to tragic recounts? Not to say the stories aren't worth hearing, just not in that format.

Just throwing you a little validation.

Poor A and I just had a little Circle of Life moment when a bird flew into my living room window and committed suicide. Well, almost. When we went out to get it, it was twitching, but my cat sniffed it out way faster than I anticipated and was settled into a scrumptious breakfast before I could save A from the carnage. Fortunately, she's resilient; I just kept saying, "It's the circle of life..." as if that was somehow going to make it less ugly. Sad, that all I can do in a time of crisis like that is recite lines from a freakin' Disney movie.

I had a great day yesterday with K, shopping through Nordies, then World Market (your favorite West Coast store!) for wine bargains. I bought a cool bottle of Merlot called "Basket Case", clearly made specifically for me. Also grabbed some super on-sale ramekins in an awesome rusty red color. I have no use for ramekins, really, except as little sauce dishes about once a year. But I think they're just the coolest piece of serveware ever. I could have them all over my kitchen for no reason at all. I found some pretty water goblets, too, but ended up putting them back when the broke side of my brain (poor, not broken) convinced the frivolous side that there are very few things on earth I need less than water goblets. I think ski poles might even outrank them. I am trying soooo hard to only purchase things I truly need right now, but sometimes you just have to give in to 4/$3 ceramic dishes that make bbq sauce look prettier.

We went out to lunch at Adriatic Grill - had a really good lentil soup and crusty bread - yum! I love fall! Then we wandered through a local nursery for which I have a gift certificate. Unfortunately, the actual nursery was closed, but the gift shop was open and we drooled over some beautiful Christmas ornaments that no one in her right mind could afford. Even with a gift certificate.

Nothing planned today, although I could get a jump on cleaning up the house for the rents. Funny how the minute you get it spotless for a party, it winds up twice as dirty the day after. Not to mention, with all the rain, there's just no getting around perpetually muddy floors and crunchy leaves everywhere. It's actually kind of sunny out right now, so I may be motivated to get outside and finish the yard. LOL.

Maybe we can get a phone call in this week...I'll probably be around all day Wednesday unless K and I go see that "The Blind Side" movie we're dying to see.

Happy Tuesday,

Love you! - A