Back in the Game

Hey, Barb.

Thanks so much for validating my efforts to get back to the page last night :) I had the entire evening to myself, as J was playing poker down at Josh's and JJ was spending the night at a friend's house. As is typical when I get this opportunity, I have a touch of anxiety about what to do with my "me time". Should I go out? See a movie? Treat myself to a steak? Go shopping? Stay home and read my new book? Blog...?

As it was, the minute J was out the door, I put on my favorite VS sweats, my new $4.99 tank top and fuzzy sweater, thus cemeting my decision to stay home. I cooked some shrimp and edamame, poured myself a coke and sat down to watch three, uninterrupted episodes of Glee. (Did I tell you it's my [new] favorite show ever? I bought the first season on DVD since I only got hooked during the last four episodes when it was on. I have never bought a tv show on DVD, so I think it really is my favorite show. I mean it this time.)

Around 9, I poured myself a glass of wine and finally faced the computer. I read for an hour or so, then forced myself to log in and say something. Anything. I had to get started, get back into it, even if it meant just typing a word and hitting "publish". I know, it shouldn't be such a chore, but it really was a bit like picking up the phone to call a friend you haven't called in way too long. Will she answer? Will she be pissed? Will I have to spend time apologizing and excusing myself or can I just start with "Hey, how's it going?" and not have it be weird? In the end, I decided that yes, she would answer. She wouldn't be pissed and she would have missed me, too. And no matter what I decided to say to get the conversation going, it would be the right thing, because it would mean we were talking again.

I went to bed right after that, with my two Tylenol PM, but to no avail. I couldn't sleep to save my life, even though my body was exhausted. I lay in bed until J sauntered in at 2am, and only then, when he curled up around me, could I finally fall asleep. What gives? We slept until 11, JJ being gone and all.

No plans today save for laundry and maybe a quick grocery run. Not sure what I'm doing for dinner tonight, but I haven't been putting in a lot of effort lately and I feel like I should step it up. I am such an amateur cook, but I can't give it up. I'm convinced that practice makes perfect. Or at least edible.

I hope you've enjoyed your no-plans weekend too. I did make it to Pier One yesterday but they only had the gold stars and I wanted a silver one. I hemmed and hawed over a couple of other pieces, being that they were practically free, but walked out with nothing. Instead, J took me to VS and bought me a new bra, and that makes me very happy. Plus, I don't have to wait a year to enjoy it.

Love,
A