Ranting and Raving

Hey there.

Before I start my little rant here, let me just apologize ahead of time if I'm the parent you, as a teacher, hate. I'm trying to keep my teacher hat on while I deal with my own kid and his teacher, but it's a difficult balance.

I just had the most unsettling meeting with JJ's math/science teacher and I came out of there fuming. She was completely rude to me, totally unhelpful and then, on top of it, had this attitude that made me feel like she hates my kid.

Argh! I'm writing here because otherwise I might email the principal and I know that's not the right thing to do. I just don't know how to handle her. Part of me thinks it's so close to the end of the year, why bother? But then there are still eight weeks left...and he has to go in there every day and be a failure because, in part, she's not doing much to help him (us) be successful.
In 6th grade, having just come from the elementary school where parent-teacher communication rocked, these kids are suddenly expected to be 100% responsible for everything. I think it's unreasonable to expect that they can make this leap without any help, so I'm all about keeping up with his binder, checking on line every day for missing work, emailing his teachers, etc. I try really hard not to babysit him, I hold him accountable as much as I possibly can, and I make every effort not to be a helicopter mom.

But I went in there this morning to collect some work, and she got all pissy with me, asking where JJ was and why he wasn't with me; usually we do these things with the student, he could answer all these questions if he were here, [he's just playing you]. Well, beotch, he's home with a fever and a sinus infection, so I thought I'd get some of this work to make up and redo, while he's out. Sorry for trying to be a good parent.  Here I am, showing up at 7:00, all organized and shit, all my questions ready, busting my butt to help him make changes, and she treats me like I'm making things worse by trying to help him.



I'm so frustrated!! His other core teacher (LA/SS) was all ready to meet with me, had his progress report printed out, packets of things to redo already made up - and he was friendly, positive, and helpful.  Even when he said things like, "There's nothing unusual about JJ sitting and doing nothing for long periods of time", I felt like he was trying to give me information, not judging my kid. (And I'm the first person to tell you that JJ has the attention span of a gnat, so I really appreciate when other people can see that, just because he isn't paying attention, it doesn't mean he's a bad kid.) This teacher clearly wants to help JJ, sets aside the time to work with me...is that asking too much? I mean, my God! What about all those sh***y kids whose parents never come out of the woodwork for anything other than to sue the school when they suddenly realize their 5th grader can't read (true story!)???
 
I went to this seminar a few years ago, and although it was 80% Motivational Speaker, there was some value to what the guy espoused.  He believed that while due dates are important, the real goal in education is that the student learns the material. Period. If that's true, then a student should be able to redo an assignment until it's right and the skill is mastered.  I agree, no teacher has the time to correct a million re-dos, coming in every day, all year long.  But JJ's teacher's alternative to that just doesn't sit right with me. She told me "I make 10 extra copies of each assignment. Once they're gone, they're gone. So if he didn't get one while they were in the basket, he can't make up it up."  Really?  You can't make one more copy? Here, give me the original, I'll go make it for you. I KNOW he's supposed to get it while it's in the basket, but the fact is that he DIDN'T, and I'd like to HELP him make that right. Do I suck???

Ok, enough of me. I just want to scream. Partly because this woman is a b***h and partly because my kid is a problem student and I have no idea what it is I'm supposed to be doing to help him change that. I'm trying to be the parent that cares, that wants to help the teacher have a better experience with my child, blah, blah, blah. I try to be the parent I wanted to work with when I was teaching. I feel like I'm at the school all the time, I feel like I'm on him 24/7 about his work, I feel like I'm as involved as I can possibly be, in all the ways they tell us parents are supposed to be. Still, I feel like I'm treading water. Barely.

Suggestions. Ms. K?

Wow...hope you're having a good day :)