Bad Days - Contagious?

Barb,

Seriously???!!! I'd be seething! I don't blame you for being pissed.  And I'm more than a little impressed that you're holding yourself back from the computer while drinking. :) What a dick. How is that motivating? What's his f***ing problem? I'm so sorry that this happened...21 days, indeed.

I'm sitting here at the public library since JJ had some internet research to do and I'm not getting my computer back until sometime tomorrow.  It's not exactly relaxing, or even comfortable, since the chairs/keyboards/etc. are not adjustable. Nor can I have my decaf Keurig by my side...but at least I can catch you up a little.

I had a really hard day today too, and am only now starting to recover from finding marijuana pariphenalia in M's room for the second or third time.  I am tired of talking to him about it, and I'm tired of how my brain always does the Columbine Leap - OMG, I found a pipe - he's going to be a complete and total loser like his dad his entire life!  He's probably already got JJ trying it! What kind of role model is that?

Of course this irritates J to no end (my brain), and it ends up with us fighting too.  Fortunately I had an appt. with MC this afternoon and managed to melt down in there, instead of at work. I'm just tired; I'm tired of worrying all the time, more than anything.  Why can't he just grow up and be ok and I can stop freaking out about every little thing?

On a much lighter (no pun intended) note, I am on Day 6 of the Hcg program and I am LOVING IT.  No kidding, I have lost 7.2 lbs and I feel awesome. I'm not hungry at all, even though I did struggle a little today with emotional food cravings.  I knew it wasn't hunger, though; I was actually able to tell the difference.  My body feels a thousand times cleaner and lighter than it did a week ago and, even though I pretty much wanted to suck down an entire pizza with a bottle of cab, I didn't.  I didn't want to ruin it...I have been so successful so far.  I haven't felt this good in so long; maybe that's why I handled the eating today better. I didn't already feel like crap, so there was something to lose if I binged on junk food.  At any rate, I'm pretty excited about this whole thing, and kind of amazed that I've been able to keep at it for six days.  I know, the program lasts for 40 days, but for me, six is probably a personal best.  Fingers crossed.

Other than that, nothing much going on here.  JJ hits the Tournament of Champions this weekend for Little League, so we have practice three nights this week.  Game One is Saturday and it's Lose/Eliminate, so we may or may not have a game again Monday, and/or Wednesday for the Title.  Kind of exciting, even if we did have a crap season and our coach sucked.  I'm kind of glad the season is coming to an end...just time-wise, but I will miss all my bleacher buddies and the fun we've had together for two years.  The end of LL, however, does mean the beginning of summer, so that makes up for everything!

I think I'll try to post a little elsewhere since JJ has about a half hour left here.  I'm trying to finish the book "Sarah's Key" (love it) but it's not very reading-comfy in here, so I think I'll give it a miss tonight.

I really hope your week improves from here. I would love to hear how you choose to respond to this, and what ensues.  Good luck; I know you will handle it professionally and with grace, as always.

Love you!
Amanda