Miss GrouchyPants, a la 7th grade

Hey -

Missed you today. I just texted to see if you were still awake, not really expecting that you would be. Sorry ... hope all is ok? I will try to text again in the morning.

Had a crappy day today, mostly. I started out by waking up very unrested, but not having slept poorly that I remember. I just felt groggy and grouchy. I had to run a few errands before work and had this absolutely strajava moment with S before I left. I'm even embarrassed to admit it, but I'm going to, just to prove to myself how dumb I am.  S has befriended this gal down the street, R, who happens to live directly across the street from CC.  (CC has wanted to be her bf forever, but R thinks she's a nutbag  like the rest of us do.)Anyway, however they ended up meeting, S and R started hanging out together a few months ago. They're very similar and have almost identical - majorly dysfunctional -  family backgrounds, except the part where R's dad was just sent to prison for 6 years, but that's another story. I really like R, and her husband, R2, who is hilariously funny.  They're also beautiful people, so they intimidate me a little. (R is supermodel tall and skinny, and gorgeous, which is always a blow to my self image, no matter how hard I try. But she's not the sharpest crayon in the box, so that makes me feel a little better.) Well, this morning at the bus stop, S comes out all dressed up and pretty, and when I ask, tells me she and R are going to the mall for the day.

Ok, is it my stupid hormone diet? The raging headache I've had for two days? Or my ridiculous self-esteem that sent me into a tailspin of jealousy? (Can you believe I'm admitting this out loud? I'm freakin' 46 years old.) I was bent out of shape all morning (she had no idea, it's not like I threw a tantrum) and finally got over it about lunchtime. I'm already feeling like I've lost all my friends since I quit drinking, like I'm no fun anymore. And the rain has kept everyone inside for so long we've forgotten how to BLU it anymore. And then here's pretty, perfect R, hanging out with my closest friend and I wasn't even invited.  The nerve!!

Ok, now I'm just laughing at myself. I call her (R) Buzz Lightyear - you know, Andy replaced Woody with him - which cracks everyone up, but today I just felt like pushing her off the bed.

Then, as if today were a good day to spend with 6 year olds, I taught kindergarten. With the raging headache. Some kid told me I was a bad teacher because I yelled. I seriously listened to him, even though he was a complete and total brat. I tried not to yell again, but it was really, really hard. They're so freakin' loud.  When did I lose my ability to be surrounded by total chaos?? 

I came home and tried to take a little nap to kill the headache, which had turned into mild nausea, but my phone kept ringing and I never fell asleep. When I checked my missed calls, they were all from CC - no message, mind you - whom I assume was looking for niece G, since she was up in this block. Get in your car, lazy ass, and drive up here and look for her.

Oh, did I mention how much I hate my SIL? This whole thing with Bro J and all their drama is more than I can write about tonight, but she's really gotten herself on my bad side. He's not exactly in my good graces either, but at least we're related and I have to love him.  She got all pissed off at him because he was talking to /confiding in me - and he's decided that it's just best not to talk to me then. Oh Good God, the two of them are a pair to draw to. 

Oh, I almost forgot the best part. I ate everything in sight after my non-nap. Totally blew my program for the day.

I'm going to go veg in front of Criminal Minds reruns now.

Hoping you had a way better day than I...


Love you,
A