This Week's Episode of Maury

Hey,

I'm so sorry to hear things aren't going well with your uncle. What a horrible note on which to send your parents away.  Still, they must know they are leaving him in good hands.  Sending white light your way...

Coincidentally, J's sister, D, (the not-favorite one) is also in the hospital, as of a few days ago. She went in with abdominal pains, and after many tests (still ongoing) they are using words like white blood cell count, anemia, bone marrow biopsy....we should hear more during the week, but as it stands now, things don't look very good at all.

On a sort of lighter note, things went extremely well on Sunday - far better than I could have expected. We were very productive and M was in a relatively good mood the entire day. He and J went back up there after dinner tonight to do some more sorting; we should have this whole thing finished up easily by the time the kids leave for Arizona. I think time does heal, if not the wounds, some of the anger maybe.

Did I tell you my boys are going to AZ? They're flying out of here to meet my dad in Phoenix on the 19th (our last day of school is Monday the 21st, a half day - WTF?) then the three of them will road trip back to California. They should arrive about the same day we do - the 24th, and stay with us until they leave for Mississippi on the 29th. They're going to be exhausted by the time they get home on the 10th - it will have been three weeks on vacation. Still, I'm glad they're going. J and I will be home on the 6th, so we'll have a few days to ourselves at the beginning and at the end of their trip.  And, JJ is going to have the time of his life down south, I just know it. M is sooooo excited for his surprise.

I had a horrible run-in with CC yesterday, which really threw me for a loop. She caught me off guard early in the morning, in my garage, as I was unloading groceries. The minute she opened her mouth, she started crying and telling me she wants to "fix" our relationship because she thinks it will make things better for BroJ. At first, it occurred to me to be nice, sympathetic - after all, her life is falling apart - but the more she talked the more I couldn't listen to her tell me lies about my brother. After ten minutes or so of her blubbering all this crap about how he's crazy and needs therapy (um, how about you, Whacko?) I finally told her (ok, I was yelling) that I didn't want to be involved in her drama and that I wasn't interested in "fixing" a relationship with her. I told her she had made choices to control Bro J's life, and now she's a little late in trying to clean up the messes she's made. She kept bawling and saying "I know, I know, that's why I'm here! I'm trying to fix things!" but I just couldn't listen to her. You don't want to fix things, you just want him not to leave you and you'll do anything to stop him, at any cost. I'm so tired of how she manipulates everyone and unloads all these tremendous lies all over me (name that movie). I ended it by telling her to leave; I think I said "I can't even be decent right now", went into my house and slammed the door.

Nice. Mature. Not.

Still, I didn't feel as terrible as I thought I would, or should, maybe.  It was actually a relief to finally say the things I've wanted to say to her...instead of placating her and lying to her about how "there's nothing wrong", just to keep the peace.  You know what? F*** the peace.  Jesus, if you ask me enough times, if you push me to the edge, I'm going to tell you a bunch of crap you don't really want to hear.  The two of them have created such a fine mess that my few words of brutal honesty won't even make a dent.

I haven't heard from my brother yet - I thought I would get a call within the hour, berating me for going at her, defending her and telling me how much this isn't her fault....but I never got a call at all. Maybe she didn't tell him. Maybe she did and he's done defending her. Who knows.  All I know is that I coped by eating junk food.

Damn her!  And I was doing so well!  This, I can tell, is going to be the real challenge for me - the emotional, impulsive eating. Since I couldn't drink (it was 8:30 in the morning) I went for the next best comfort.

Today was better - I was really tired and didn't get much done, but I did manage the laundry and ironing and a few little things around the house. Tomorrow, checkup with MC2 followed by therapy with MC, so that should be a good day. A quick stop at Nordstrom to return a couple of things, then dinner at S&T's. Did I tell you how, after I wrote that strajava note about S and Buzz Lightyear, I got a text from S the next day day that said, "I'm missin' my friend. How are you? Where are you? Call me."  Funny, huh? So we went shopping that night at Marshalls and had a great time browsing and laughing until it closed. Silly me :)

Anyway, that's about it around here. I had intended to write a short little note, but the rambling took over.  I'm such an extremist...all or nothing, baby.

Have a good Wednesday - love you!
A