Susie Sunshine

Hey there.

I just realized that D is visiting with you now, so you may not be reading this week. At any rate, I hope you have a great time together!

I'm sorry to hear about your uncle and W's mom.  Crappy news all around. J's sister isn't doing well either, but mostly it's that she has become a royal b***h and is intolerable to be around.  She treats those who care for her like s**t and no one has the guts to just leave her sitting there stewing in her own crankiness.

Things around here are ok - I started back with MC and MC2 today, which was a good thing. I had a complete breakdown with MC and we decided that it was time for me to hit an AA meeting. I drank heavily both Friday and Saturday night, resulting in just feeling awful (mentally and physically) for the entire weekend. Sooo...this afternoon I picked a meeting to go to, when no one would notice if I left for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, it was every stereotyped nightmare I had imagined.

I pulled up to some grange hall and parked between two mud-caked pickup trucks, one with a rebel flag on it. Inside, there were six middle-aged men wearing things like leather Nascar jackets, Penzoil ball caps and steel-toed boots.  No women. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

I know, I should have stayed. I should have at least listened, or something. But I felt like I had accidentally stepped into a bad reality show, standing there in my white capris and gold bangles, holding my venti iced chai and my Coach purse. I started to panic. MC promised me that there would be people there "just like me". That I would feel safe. Yeah, not so much. There are other meetings I can go to around here; I shouldn't give up after one bad moment, I know.  Maybe I'll try to hit the one at 7 tonight up here closer to my house, if I can come up with a good alibi.

Anyway.

That's what's going on. Things with J aren't getting any better. Things with M are still volatile and cause me to be nervous all the time. At least I'm back on my magic potion now and starting my second round of HCG on Monday.  If I can just get through this week with my parents visiting, all will be good.  I soooooo wish they weren't coming :(

Enough from Debbie Downer. Enjoy your time with D this week and hopefully we can catch up when our houseguests are all gone.

Love you!
A