Count the parenthetical phrases...wtf???

Good morning.

Thanks for the reinforcement and encouragement (yes, I did take it that way!) That is exactly how I feel. Less mired (perfect description), less negative. The drive to Seattle in the middle of the night episode was a pretty good test, in terms of staying calm, reasonable and kind. If I want my kids to feel they can come to me for anything, then I had better learn to behave in a way that creates a safe place for them to go when they do.

After I got off the phone with you, I assembled my party invitations while watching mindless TV. I was too afraid of messing up to watch a movie. I didn't end up in bed early, as planned, because I was dinking around, watering the lawn and cleaning up little messes here and there.  When J is gone, I'm not quite as OCD about housecleaning, but I'm still me. I just can't stand a dirty kitchen, a sticky floor, laundry that's not cycling through the process (i.e. the same freakin' load M put in Friday morning hadn't made it to the dryer yet, even though the dirty pile was ever growing. I hate having to do the bleach soak thing, then, because it's been sitting in there becoming some kind of bacterial science project in this heat.)

Anyway, I slept like a ROCK when I did get to bed, even with M coming in during the night. I always hear the garage door go up, which wakes - and keeps - me up. But not last night. I actually woke up this morning and had a little panic attack (tiny) that he might not have made it home. No worries, he's here.

This morning I have my first Mac class so I can learn their version of Excel, but other than that, no Mac Heaven for me today. I need to get the labels printed so the invites can get in the mail tomorrow (I know you won't come, but I'll send you one for fun anyway).  Since our weather isn't going to last, I'll spend the rest of the day in the yard, which is not a complaint. It's my version of sunbathing, since I don't have a pool. The excessive sweating doesn't seem to bother me as much when I know it's from physical labor, as opposed to when I'm sweating for no reason and I can't do anything about it.

I don't know if I told you that R landed in the hospital earlier this week with pancreatitis. He's home now, but I think he might have to have his gall bladder removed.  At any rate, he hasn't been on solid foods this week, and even when he started back up, he couldn't eat any fatty foods.  Until today.  In celebration, his son TN is having Porkapalooza (was that originally your word?) and M and I were invited for dinner.  S, T and the kids are camping, so it will be quiet and peaceful (oh, did I say that out loud?)

J and JJ both get home tomorrow, so things will return to normal (yay!). My little hiatus from marriage and mothering has been nice, but I miss my family. I miss my regular life.

Enjoy your Sunday (it sounds lovely; only I would think that about cleaning house).

Love you!
A