Hey, Amanda.
Five minutes until a faculty meeting, then after that it’s the weekend for me! I ‘m taking tomorrow off for some medical stuff—fasting blood work and a mammogram—and I’m hoping to get a bunch of other stuff done in between like settle back taxes (I know, I’m horrible) and get my car serviced. The day will not be a picnic, but it will be nice not to get up before dawn (literally) and get ready for school.
I’m off to Vermont this weekend with the girls so I’ll be out of touch, but I promise to get back in the swing of writing here next week.
Hope you have a good weekend!
Love you,
Barb
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Hi, Barb.
It's already Wednesday and I've hardly accomplished a thing this week. The anniversary party is looming over my head but I still feel like I have all the time in the world ( I don't - less than 3 weeks) to finish up the details. So I'm focused on putting my new family room together...but not really too motivated for that either. I'd much rather go to the movies or nap. I'm such a project pooper - I get started all gung-ho, then halfway through I just want someone else to finish :)
Nothing much going on around here. Matt turned 18 on Monday and his friends stopped by to surprise him after the family went out to dinner. He thought they all had plans and no one would be able to hang out with him. It was very sweet. Already, though, today, he's skipping class. Not my issue, but it's bugging the shit out of me. I need to breathe.
Tomorrow I'm getting my tooth pulled so I'll be out of commission all day after that. John leaves Monday for an extended business trip to Chicago that will end in Albany with his sister, and he won't be back home until the day before the party. D is not doing well at all; what we know at this point is that there is nothing more they can do for her and they will be sending her home probably this week. Who knows, then, what kind of time she has left. I imagine they will arrange some kind of hospice care and we will likely be making a trip back before Christmas.
So this weekend we'll spend finishing up the house and getting the yard as much in order as possible. We got a little break in that JJ decided he didn't need to go to the fair this year (thank God) and is going to spend his fair money on entering a National Choir competition. Yay!! He's very excited; I know it's a good experience for him to audition, although only 300 (maybe it was 500?) students make it. He may be the only one from his school who even bothers to try, so I'm proud of him. If he makes it, he will go to Chicago in the spring to sing with the National Middle School Choir. Hello! Wouldn't that be something!
Anyway, not much to report -- just wanted to say hello. I hope all is well with you and that your schedule - school, sleeping, life in general - is smoothing out.
Love you,
A
It's already Wednesday and I've hardly accomplished a thing this week. The anniversary party is looming over my head but I still feel like I have all the time in the world ( I don't - less than 3 weeks) to finish up the details. So I'm focused on putting my new family room together...but not really too motivated for that either. I'd much rather go to the movies or nap. I'm such a project pooper - I get started all gung-ho, then halfway through I just want someone else to finish :)
Nothing much going on around here. Matt turned 18 on Monday and his friends stopped by to surprise him after the family went out to dinner. He thought they all had plans and no one would be able to hang out with him. It was very sweet. Already, though, today, he's skipping class. Not my issue, but it's bugging the shit out of me. I need to breathe.
Tomorrow I'm getting my tooth pulled so I'll be out of commission all day after that. John leaves Monday for an extended business trip to Chicago that will end in Albany with his sister, and he won't be back home until the day before the party. D is not doing well at all; what we know at this point is that there is nothing more they can do for her and they will be sending her home probably this week. Who knows, then, what kind of time she has left. I imagine they will arrange some kind of hospice care and we will likely be making a trip back before Christmas.
So this weekend we'll spend finishing up the house and getting the yard as much in order as possible. We got a little break in that JJ decided he didn't need to go to the fair this year (thank God) and is going to spend his fair money on entering a National Choir competition. Yay!! He's very excited; I know it's a good experience for him to audition, although only 300 (maybe it was 500?) students make it. He may be the only one from his school who even bothers to try, so I'm proud of him. If he makes it, he will go to Chicago in the spring to sing with the National Middle School Choir. Hello! Wouldn't that be something!
Anyway, not much to report -- just wanted to say hello. I hope all is well with you and that your schedule - school, sleeping, life in general - is smoothing out.
Love you,
A
Monday, September 13, 2010
Fucockta???
Hey, you.
Ok, that's a new word for me. I looked it up, but....
I imagine not being settled into school yet is frustrating, but your weather is still nice, no? That would be hard. If it were raining and cold, your body might be adjusting to the schedule change better. At least for me, I know that's true. It'll click eventually...are you still having problems sleeping/being in pain at night?
I'm so glad it's Monday and there is NOTHING on my schedule for today. We went camping this weekend with a few couples from John's office whom I had never met, save for one I'm not crazy about in the first place. Turned out to be a very fun group and I had a great time. We had awesome weather, and the only kids there were mine (JJ and a friend) and one other 9 year old girl who pretty much kept to herself, so we did a lot of sitting around the fire, drinking and relaxing. We had kayaks and mopeds, so the kids were in heaven (check out my pictures on fb if you want). We got home yesterday mid-afternoon, and by the time we were done cleaning the trailer and all that, we ended up ordering in Chinese and going to bed by 9:00. I hadn't been looking forward to the trip at all, but now I'm so glad I went!
M's loving his new school and is really thriving in the more adult environment. He cut his hair very short and wears semi-dress clothes to school every day - he's cracking me up! I asked him if that's how all the students dress and he said no, he just felt like he needed to be "more professional". He's a paradox, that one.
JJ's playing baseball this fall, actually. And so far, we just have practice every day until 5:00; no games for two more weeks. Another mom and I trade off pickups after practice, so that's helpful. For whatever reason, our middle school football season isn't until the spring here, so we go baseball, wrestling, basketball, football. Plus, he's in choir and planning to join the Advanced Choir in November, so we'll for sure be busy. I'm good - I'd rather he be involved in that, even if he's not a straight A student, than to hate all things school related, like his brother did.
The biggest news to report is the new installment of Bro J and CC Crazy...but I won't bore you with details. Let's see how well I can do this RD version:
Mid-week last week: Their therapist told them that Bro should move out for awhile, but CC told the therapist that's not an option, he must stay with her at all costs. Bro tried to move out, but CC found out about the affair with KN. Since then she's been insane - and I mean in a not-so-funny-kind-of-scary way. He stayed here all weekend with M while we were gone; she came to my house and went nuts all over M Friday night, until he (M) had to make her leave and my J had to call the cops (from camping!) to put her on the radar. She called my parents and told them a pack of lies (in addition to the truth about the affair). She told her kids all about it, too, (details and all) then kept them up all night stirring them into a frenzy about how daddy doesn't love them anymore. She pushed him so far he ripped his phones and the computer out of the walls in his house to stop her from posting all his emails to KN on fb and sending them to my parents, his boss, etc. Then she threatened to have him arrested for assault (although he didn't touch her). He went home yesterday I guess to get his stuff and make a plan to leave, but I haven't heard from him since Saturday night. Who knows what will happen next?
My parents are doing better today, but they're worried about him (and so angry at him for being so stupid and spineless in the first place). They're worried about the grand kids (like we all are) but she's so out of control that Bro says he can't even have a calm conversation with her, not matter how hard he tries. He's so mired in his lack of control - built up over the years of her dominance and his enabling - that he doesn't even think straight half the time.
I feel awful for my parents, watching their kid train wreck his life. But they know it's not about them and they're hanging in there. I think, like me, they want to take over and do things for him, because he's so stupid, but of course none of us can do that. I'm kind of glad they're so far away; although we talk a couple times a day, they're not getting too involved.
I'm doing a pretty good job of staying out of it, too, which I'm sure you can imagine is hard for me. Fortunately, she wouldn't dare call me, so I haven't had to engage her at all. And J will take care of her if she harasses our family any more. I hope Bro can hold onto this great new job, stay sane, and make the right moves...I pray for him a lot. Not because I feel sorry for him, but because I'm just not sure he gets it yet. He's still falling into all of her traps and buying into all of her bullshit. He feels sorry for her, because she has no friends or family (literally) but doesn't see that she has created that life for herself.
Bottom line: He's an idiot, she's f*#@ing crazy. You know, I watch a lot of crime drama, but the one continuous thought in my head is always "It's nice that this shit doesn't happen in real life." Um, wrong.
ANYWAY...I didn't do very well with the short version, did I? I was so glad I was camping this weekend and wasn't here, because I probably would have gotten all involved where I shouldn't have. I was so proud of my son for the way he handled her; of course, at 17, he's just kind of amused by the whole thing.
I'd love to catch up on the phone this week, and promise not to talk only about this :)
Love you,
A
Ok, that's a new word for me. I looked it up, but....
I imagine not being settled into school yet is frustrating, but your weather is still nice, no? That would be hard. If it were raining and cold, your body might be adjusting to the schedule change better. At least for me, I know that's true. It'll click eventually...are you still having problems sleeping/being in pain at night?
I'm so glad it's Monday and there is NOTHING on my schedule for today. We went camping this weekend with a few couples from John's office whom I had never met, save for one I'm not crazy about in the first place. Turned out to be a very fun group and I had a great time. We had awesome weather, and the only kids there were mine (JJ and a friend) and one other 9 year old girl who pretty much kept to herself, so we did a lot of sitting around the fire, drinking and relaxing. We had kayaks and mopeds, so the kids were in heaven (check out my pictures on fb if you want). We got home yesterday mid-afternoon, and by the time we were done cleaning the trailer and all that, we ended up ordering in Chinese and going to bed by 9:00. I hadn't been looking forward to the trip at all, but now I'm so glad I went!
M's loving his new school and is really thriving in the more adult environment. He cut his hair very short and wears semi-dress clothes to school every day - he's cracking me up! I asked him if that's how all the students dress and he said no, he just felt like he needed to be "more professional". He's a paradox, that one.
JJ's playing baseball this fall, actually. And so far, we just have practice every day until 5:00; no games for two more weeks. Another mom and I trade off pickups after practice, so that's helpful. For whatever reason, our middle school football season isn't until the spring here, so we go baseball, wrestling, basketball, football. Plus, he's in choir and planning to join the Advanced Choir in November, so we'll for sure be busy. I'm good - I'd rather he be involved in that, even if he's not a straight A student, than to hate all things school related, like his brother did.
The biggest news to report is the new installment of Bro J and CC Crazy...but I won't bore you with details. Let's see how well I can do this RD version:
Mid-week last week: Their therapist told them that Bro should move out for awhile, but CC told the therapist that's not an option, he must stay with her at all costs. Bro tried to move out, but CC found out about the affair with KN. Since then she's been insane - and I mean in a not-so-funny-kind-of-scary way. He stayed here all weekend with M while we were gone; she came to my house and went nuts all over M Friday night, until he (M) had to make her leave and my J had to call the cops (from camping!) to put her on the radar. She called my parents and told them a pack of lies (in addition to the truth about the affair). She told her kids all about it, too, (details and all) then kept them up all night stirring them into a frenzy about how daddy doesn't love them anymore. She pushed him so far he ripped his phones and the computer out of the walls in his house to stop her from posting all his emails to KN on fb and sending them to my parents, his boss, etc. Then she threatened to have him arrested for assault (although he didn't touch her). He went home yesterday I guess to get his stuff and make a plan to leave, but I haven't heard from him since Saturday night. Who knows what will happen next?
My parents are doing better today, but they're worried about him (and so angry at him for being so stupid and spineless in the first place). They're worried about the grand kids (like we all are) but she's so out of control that Bro says he can't even have a calm conversation with her, not matter how hard he tries. He's so mired in his lack of control - built up over the years of her dominance and his enabling - that he doesn't even think straight half the time.
I feel awful for my parents, watching their kid train wreck his life. But they know it's not about them and they're hanging in there. I think, like me, they want to take over and do things for him, because he's so stupid, but of course none of us can do that. I'm kind of glad they're so far away; although we talk a couple times a day, they're not getting too involved.
I'm doing a pretty good job of staying out of it, too, which I'm sure you can imagine is hard for me. Fortunately, she wouldn't dare call me, so I haven't had to engage her at all. And J will take care of her if she harasses our family any more. I hope Bro can hold onto this great new job, stay sane, and make the right moves...I pray for him a lot. Not because I feel sorry for him, but because I'm just not sure he gets it yet. He's still falling into all of her traps and buying into all of her bullshit. He feels sorry for her, because she has no friends or family (literally) but doesn't see that she has created that life for herself.
Bottom line: He's an idiot, she's f*#@ing crazy. You know, I watch a lot of crime drama, but the one continuous thought in my head is always "It's nice that this shit doesn't happen in real life." Um, wrong.
ANYWAY...I didn't do very well with the short version, did I? I was so glad I was camping this weekend and wasn't here, because I probably would have gotten all involved where I shouldn't have. I was so proud of my son for the way he handled her; of course, at 17, he's just kind of amused by the whole thing.
I'd love to catch up on the phone this week, and promise not to talk only about this :)
Love you,
A
Sunday, September 12, 2010
In Control, and Not
Hi, Amanda.
How’s everything in your world now that the boys are back in school? Do you have more or less stress with an empty house during the day? I assume JJ is playing football? What does that do to your evening schedule?...
I’m getting in the groove here but must admit I am having a hard time getting adjusted physically. Despite going to bed early, I snooze my alarm multiple times every morning. Thank goodness I’m still wearing my hair in a clip (can ONLY wear my hair in a clip, in fact, until I have a cut and some low lites put in!) and don’t require much time to get ready. I still have time for my morning coffee and can get to school in time…and then I go from there.
My class schedule is much different this year so that’s got me fucockta all the time too. After two weeks back I still don’t have a handle on things; I feel like I’m planning one day at a time, and I hate that. I’ve been at this too long to feel so frazzled. Eventually, I suppose, I’ll settle in.
How interesting…I think I just figured out why I’ve been so successful at keeping my house clean! I haven’t become a clean freak or anything, but I certainly have prevented the normal amount of entropy from occurring this week. I’m keeping everything as clean as it was last weekend…and it feels great! Anyway, I suppose it makes sense that I’m not feeling very in control at school, but here at home I have a handle on things. I’ll take that. Not a bad trade…
Hope all is well with you.
Love,
B
How’s everything in your world now that the boys are back in school? Do you have more or less stress with an empty house during the day? I assume JJ is playing football? What does that do to your evening schedule?...
I’m getting in the groove here but must admit I am having a hard time getting adjusted physically. Despite going to bed early, I snooze my alarm multiple times every morning. Thank goodness I’m still wearing my hair in a clip (can ONLY wear my hair in a clip, in fact, until I have a cut and some low lites put in!) and don’t require much time to get ready. I still have time for my morning coffee and can get to school in time…and then I go from there.
My class schedule is much different this year so that’s got me fucockta all the time too. After two weeks back I still don’t have a handle on things; I feel like I’m planning one day at a time, and I hate that. I’ve been at this too long to feel so frazzled. Eventually, I suppose, I’ll settle in.
How interesting…I think I just figured out why I’ve been so successful at keeping my house clean! I haven’t become a clean freak or anything, but I certainly have prevented the normal amount of entropy from occurring this week. I’m keeping everything as clean as it was last weekend…and it feels great! Anyway, I suppose it makes sense that I’m not feeling very in control at school, but here at home I have a handle on things. I’ll take that. Not a bad trade…
Hope all is well with you.
Love,
B
Sunday, September 5, 2010
End-of-Summer Special
Hey there.
It's almost 6:30, and if I weren't in need of a shower that I am momentarily too lazy to take, I'd feel perfect. As it is, I'm feeling pretty damn good.
I woke up around 7:30, had my coffee and started cleaning an hour later. My kitchen came first, then the bathrooms, and my my living room. At 10 or so I ran out to the store for a few last minute things for my day with D (olives, pita chips, ginger ale: all things I had forgotten yesterday). I came home, made our Greek salad so it could marinate a while, got in my bathing suit, and waited for D to arrive. She got here around noon and we headed out to the pool, cocktails in hand.
We stayed outside for a few hours in near perfect, end-of-the-summer weather--one of those days that's more bright than hot. When the sun was out it was strong, but it took a few breaks behind the clouds, and there was no humidity but a nice breeze, so we spent most of the time in our cover-ups, but still. It was gorgeous and relaxing. (It helped that there weren't a lot of screaming, ill-behaved kids around today.) We read magazines and talked and visited with my pool friend A who stopped by to meet D and each had a second cocktail, eventually coming in for an early dinner. After a simple, no-cook dinner (falafel and hummus sandwiches and Greek salad) we watched TV for a little bit and she left around 6.
And now, it's dusk. I'm enjoying the breeze and the sound of crickets through my windows while I sit in my clean living room, knowing that my kitchen that needs no clean-up and that I have another day to enjoy of summer before going back to work on Tuesday.
For now, I'm off to shower, so that I can be clean too, and can enjoy my sleep and my sheets tonight.
I hope you're having a good weekend, too.
xo,
Barb
PS It was great talking to you the other day.
It's almost 6:30, and if I weren't in need of a shower that I am momentarily too lazy to take, I'd feel perfect. As it is, I'm feeling pretty damn good.
I woke up around 7:30, had my coffee and started cleaning an hour later. My kitchen came first, then the bathrooms, and my my living room. At 10 or so I ran out to the store for a few last minute things for my day with D (olives, pita chips, ginger ale: all things I had forgotten yesterday). I came home, made our Greek salad so it could marinate a while, got in my bathing suit, and waited for D to arrive. She got here around noon and we headed out to the pool, cocktails in hand.
We stayed outside for a few hours in near perfect, end-of-the-summer weather--one of those days that's more bright than hot. When the sun was out it was strong, but it took a few breaks behind the clouds, and there was no humidity but a nice breeze, so we spent most of the time in our cover-ups, but still. It was gorgeous and relaxing. (It helped that there weren't a lot of screaming, ill-behaved kids around today.) We read magazines and talked and visited with my pool friend A who stopped by to meet D and each had a second cocktail, eventually coming in for an early dinner. After a simple, no-cook dinner (falafel and hummus sandwiches and Greek salad) we watched TV for a little bit and she left around 6.
And now, it's dusk. I'm enjoying the breeze and the sound of crickets through my windows while I sit in my clean living room, knowing that my kitchen that needs no clean-up and that I have another day to enjoy of summer before going back to work on Tuesday.
For now, I'm off to shower, so that I can be clean too, and can enjoy my sleep and my sheets tonight.
I hope you're having a good weekend, too.
xo,
Barb
PS It was great talking to you the other day.
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