Later, Gator

It's 5:49 and we're out the door.

34 degrees here in BL, 68 in Lahaina.

See ya! :)

Snow Outside, Good Wine Inside

Hey, you.

So great to catch up with you over the weekend, if only for a short while.  You were cracking me up, re-capping all my news like a good therapist would.  See?  You'd be a fabulous counselor!!

It's been a little crazy around here the past couple of days. We've been having uncharacteristic snow (both for our area and this time of year.)  The roads are awful; driving is a nightmare. I hate driving in anything other than broad daylight sunshine with no clouds, so I'm kind of a baby, but still.  Not into the snow thing.  Fortunately, we closed the clinic early tonight and I got home before 6:30 with a stop at Target for some necessities (hairspray, root-touch-up, cat food) so all was well.  I am so happy tomorrow is my last full time shift. I don't mean to be a whiner about working full time, but I am just exhausted from the weird hours.

The kids have been out of school all week and are out tomorrow too; they're thrilled to have an extra three days tacked onto their Thanksgiving break.  They won't be so delighted come the end of the year, when we'll be in school until July.  Oh well.  It is kind of fun.  My neighbor M (a teacher) took JJ and a bunch of kids sledding today on the huge hills in the back of our development, and they had a blast. I was starting to feel bad about not being home all day until I heard that.  Evidently, JJ didn't miss me one bit.  Which is good, right? :(

Tonight I'm drinking really good Malbec from my friend JH, a wine distributor, who always sends good stuff my way when I socialize with his wife.  She came to my Silpada party and brought me this lovely red, so I'm sitting here in sweats and my big, new, fuzzy OSU sweatshirt, enjoying my "me" time. I should be cleaning C's room for her arrival, or doing laundry, or, I don't know, prepping something for Thanksgiving dinner. But you know what?  I grouchy with J and I really don't give a s*#^ about that stuff.  I'm feeling a little selfish.  So there.

I'm halfway packed for Hawaii, though. I went shopping a little this weekend and since there was really no point in putting it all away, I just started a pile in anticipation.  Never mind the turkey dinner, do I have all my bathing suit tops in order?? Where the hell is my floral print sun dress I've never, ever worn? Shouldn't I bring that? It's so....Hawaiian looking.  I went tanning today to get a little base, since I currently resemble Casper the Ghost. That and it's like 20 degrees, so tanning seemed like good medicine.

On the drama front, I talked to KN for a long time today,  re: crazy Bro J, and I'm just so freakin' pissed at him for all the damage he's left in the wake of his selfishness.  He keeps emailing me and I know he's trying very hard to make things right with me, but at this point, I have a hard time saying it's a genuine attempt.  I'm not sure I believe he really gives a s*$# all that much.  I can't even believe some of the crap he's pulled on KN and the phenomenal lies he told her. It makes me sad and sick to my stomach. And still, I love him because he's my brother.  But if I met him on the street, I would spit on him.  Sad, huh.

I was just conversing via FB with my friend HD (my Silpada girl) about how late it feels every night when it's barely past dinnertime. Suddenly, I am struck with that feeling ... it's 8:46 and I am absolutely ready for bed.   So, I'll sign off and wish you an easy last day before break.

Have a terrific Thanksgiving with L and a wonderful trip to Beantown.  I am jealous, and I mean that. Even where I'm going, I'm forever envious that you get to go to Boston.

Love you,
A

Sorry!

I will apologize...I've had plenty of time but I guess I couldn't get out of my own way long enough to sit and write. Sorry. And I am jealous. I wish I had a tropical vacation to look forward to on the horizon. I'm going to Boston Thanksgiving weekend, but it sure isn't the same.

Things here are okay. I have good days and bad, with nothing in particular to trigger them to be one way or another. I think I had that moment to breathe last paycheck and then, just like that!, I was broke again and stressed again. And in a bad mood.

Meanwhile, school is not a happy place for most teachers. The adminstration sssuuuuucccks and it's wearing on a lot of us. Thank god I like my classes and I spend most of my time with them. It's just unfortunate that at the end of the day you can't pack it up and feel good about what you've done with the kids when you get waylayed in some ridiculous meeting or another that makes your head spin. But enough of giving that place any more of my energy.

Next week is a short week and then there's Thanksgiving and life is good. I know that. Sometimes I just need to take a break from being positive and let myself be pissed off. And now I'm good.

Love you,
Barb

248 Hours and Counting

I would apologize for not writing all week, but hey. Neither of us has been here much lately.

Still working my weird 10-7 shift and fighting a sinus infection...not in a very good mood lately ;(

I  did have a terrific weekend in Coravallis but am dreading the one coming up; I'll have to do all of my Thanksgiving shopping, decorating, housecleaning and food prep by Sunday night - the folks will arrive sometime Wednesday, and I will get no help from The Crazies as far as Thursday goes, other than Mrs. Crazy might bring a salad or something.  Then, three days of eating and decorating for Christmas, then....ahhhhh.....

sunshine


drinks with umbrellas


sand


clear blue water


breakfast on the little balcony outside my condo bedroom


a pool with palm trees dipping into the water


more drinks with umbrellas  and pineapple slices and mango chunks


sex on the beach....

oh, wait, was I still talking about cocktails?

xoxo

Maui on the Horizon

Hey,

So so tired today...didn't sleep well last night due to some digestive thing going on that I can't identify. Like you need to hear about that.  I'd love a glass of wine, but I know I don't sleep well when I drink and I'm planning to crash here around 8ish.  Tomorrow is late start, but JJ is grounded so he has to go to bed early too.

I haven't been keeping you detail-informed of my brother's insanity, but you know enough, I think, to know that his latest onslaught of contact (I'm sorry! I need you! I'm a loser!  I'm in crisis! I'm sorry!) is bringing me so down.  He wears me out, makes me sad, makes me hopeful, then lets me down, every time.  He's on another I-want-to-be-a-good-brother kick the past few days and I just can't buy it this time.  I'm so exhausted with his issues and the roller coaster drama of his life. He keeps dragging me in, and I keep thinking this time, he really means it. I'm like a pathetic girlfriend. Or wife. Oh, wait, he already has those. I guess I'm just the pathetic sister.  So much of me wants to tell him that I just can't trust him, but then I wonder, is this really it? Is this the time he really does need me to be there for him and he's really going to get his shit together this time? What if I turn him away and I'm all he has? What kind of sister does that make me?

But the minute I start to respond to the emails (two a day, at least) I just sit here, staring at the keyboard.  I don't know what to say.  He's on this I want to be there for you thing, this time.  OMG, like he's even remotely capable of that.  I don't want to be mean, I don't want to screw up Thanksgiving for my parents. I just want him to leave me alone - like he's been doing for the past three or four years, thank you very much.

Anyway,  just today I got three emails and I'm so tired of reading them.  Sorry to vent on you.

The job is still good (these hours suck though) and everything else is going well around here.  We're heading to Corvallis to spend the weekend with C, and go to JJ's first college football game - OSU vs. WSU.  WSU is where he wants to go to school, more than anything, so he's having a bit of a wardrobe dilemma. "What do you think, Mom? Should I wear my Beavers hat and my Cougars jersey, or my Cougars hat with my Beavers t-shirt? Dad's just wearing all Beavs.  I can't do that. I just can't not root for the Cougs, even if we are on the OSU side of the stadium."  He's killing me!! I'm looking so forward to this - it's pretty much the equivalent of taking a small child to Disneyland.

And of course, Thursday we have Stomp, for which I am very excited.  I've wanted to see it for years.

I'm counting down the days to Hawaii now (18 if you're wondering) although none of my efforts to drop 10 lbs have been successful.  At this point, I'm so whatever about it. Getting upset over feeling out of shape and blubbery while in Maui is not going to a) make the weight disappear or 2) improve my vacation any.

Oh, look! It's after 8! That means I can crawl into bed and either read Jodi Picoult (ridiculously depressing) or watch Criminal Minds (weirdly, not depressing).

Hope your week is going well...love you,
A

Reader's Digest Reply

You know I can't resist: What were you thinking having a Silpada party EVER?..

I'm glad things are back to normal with J...trust that soon enough things will feel normal with work. Your body will adjust. And then, when you get to the schedule you signed up for? Well, it will be a breeze.

I had a good weekend with W. It was nice that he stuck around Sunday afternoon rather than head back early. It was particularly nice to watch the Pats game together, although they had an awful game.

And now I'm back to the grind, trying not to wish my life away, but knowing time will fly. Thanksgiving will be here before you know it, and then... well you know how it goes.

Grades are due Wednesday so I can't promise much more until I turn them in. Wish me luck getting through the backlog.

But I am well, and hope you are too.

Love, Barb

Reader's Digest Post

Ok, here's my before-the-weekend-post:

What was I thinking, keeping this Silpada party date on a Thursday night???

But...

I just got tickets to see Stomp up in Seattle (all four of us) next week, and it's a surprise for JJ.  M has been wanting to take him for years. I'm so excited!

My brother, his wife and his girlfriend should have their own reality show. They'd make a mint. I refuse to watch Jersey Shore, so why do I watch this? It's almost worse.

All is well with J again.

And...

I am sooooo tired. I'm not feeling 100% healthy either (hmmm...working in a same day clinic...I wonder?)

It's 8:23 and I'm headed upstairs to get cozy and read a little of the new Jodi Picoult - House Rules - for book club. I figure one or two months out of the year I should actually read the book assigned.  So far, it's really good. Then by 9:00 I will be out.  J is still sick so he's up for early bedtimes lately too, which makes it easy to get everyone in bed early :)

Hope your week is going well.
Love you,
A

Tuesday Treat

Good morning, Amanda.

Kids have no school today and the teacher workshops don't start until 8...so I get a little extra time this morning. What a treat to sleep a little later and have a few minutes to write! Reminds me that I am a firm believer that changing the start time would go a long way--for teachers and students....

Snoring: ugh. That's what I'll be dealing with this weekend. With or without a cold, I'm afraid, I don't get much sleep when W is here. Oh well, a relatively small price to pay, and it's not every day, so I won't complain. Or did I already?

Sounds like a good Halloween weekend for you. Doesn't surprise me that JJ ended up going out...My niece A did too with a bunch of friends. Why not, right? Middle-schoolers are kids, too.  I had a good weekend as well, although it really had no Halloween components. Rather, it just felt like a nice, fall weekend. And I was in a good mood.

Last night I was thinking that I didn't realize I was in a funk until...well...I guess I got out of the funk. I'm not sure what did the trick, if it was cleaning mid-week and having friends over which gave me a weekend without a thousand things to do so that when I sat around it was not in squalor or denial of everything I needed to do, or just getting to November 1 and finishing the two month transition from summer to the holidays, or feeling a little more recuperated financially after getting blindsided by the district and not getting paid until September 10 when we expected to paid at the end of August, or if it was something else or a combination, but something did the trick. I feel better. And I didn't realize I felt bad.

I hope you have a good week at work. Maybe I'll hear from you again before the weekend?...

Take care, Love you,
Barb

Late Night Rambling

Hey,

Sorry I didn't write over the weekend.  I thought 1:15 Tuesday morning was a much better idea.

John has had a horrible cough for about a week now, and tonight he managed to kick it just a little. The trade-in was hellacious snoring, so here I am. Unable to sleep upstairs, unwilling to call it a couch night. Thought maybe I'd read for awhile and get sleepy enough to overrule the noise.

We had a fun, if busy weekend. Friday night was pretty quiet as I worked until 7:30 then hung out with the boys until I was too tired to even watch TV.  The three of us got up at the crack of dawn on Saturday as M was going to go skydiving - it was to be his 10th jump and first solo, so we were excited to see it. Unfortunately the weather turned to crap before we even left the house and we never got to go.  It was a nice day, though, in spite of the rain. He and I went to Starbucks and hung out for coffee, then went to see the Social Network (excellent movie).  I took a nap later in the afternoon in preparation for T's birthday party.

It was kind of a family thing, this party, at first, so M went over there with me and stayed until he had another, more age appropriate party to go to. J stayed home, and JJ went to a party at JK's house, so I was solo; still, it was a great party. Not a huge crowd, but a good mix of people. JJ came over around 11 and we came home starving. The two of us sat up until after midnight eating leftover ribs while he told me every detail about the funnest party ever. It was a great night.

Sunday, in the end - shocker! - JJ changed his mind and went out with his buddies. They just couldn't resist free candy I guess. I went out walking with CK and her new boyfriend for a bit, then I met up with M and we went over to S&T's to hang out with them. He was dressed up like some skeleton sort of thing and just sat on their porch scaring people, which was pretty hilarious. We got home early - all of us - and everyone was in bed by 10:00, completely exhausted.  It was a very fun night, as always.

Back to work today, still on my full time schedule. This week I'm having my jewelry party so I'm trying to figure out where to get the energy to clean my entire house before Thursday. Maybe I'll Clorox wipe the bathroom and create good lighting - that should do the trick. This weekend not much planned, so I'm happy about that.

Nothing else going on here.  I do remember you telling me that you would like to hang your own shingle one day, but didn't know you had a real plan. I hope you pursue it; you definitely would be very good at it, no doubt about that.  I have to say, though, that your commitment to teaching has been admirable and even on your "bad" days, you never come across miserable. Just tired sometimes, which I think is a great place to start thinking of moving on.

Ok, eyelids are starting to droop - I'm gonna give sleep another shot. Just wanted to say hi and wish you a good week.
Love you,
A