Holding Steady

Hey, Amanda.

So my mood is still good today—two days in a row. It’s a bit humid out but not raining and cold, so weather shouldn’t be a factor in ruining my mood. I’m hoping to hear positive things about M’s evaluation today and think we’re in another good stretch with D (who starts radiation today), so that shouldn’t be a factor either. And W and I are making our next plans for a couple of weeks from now, so having that to look forward to helps as well. We are thinking we might change things up a bit and stay somewhere outside of Boston just for a change, for some R&R. We won’t have to worry about packing outfits to go out and won’t need to do anything much at all. If there’s a pool and a Jacuzzi we’ll be happy.


It was good to hear your voice yesterday. I’m glad you’re feeling so good these days.

Love,
Barb

LMAO

That is soooooo funny!!! Of course I remember.!...

Wish I had more time to write right now, but I don't. I had to, however, let you know that I read your post and I laughed out loud.

Thanks for that!
Love you,
Barb

On the Upswing?

Hey there,

I'm trying to be optimistic (for both of us) that this week will bring us each back into balance with our selves.  I'm feeling better this evening, having spent my afternoon in a good way - meaning, not running errands. Even when they're "fun" errands, like tanning or getting my nails done, I still feel like my entire day is gone by the time I get home.  Today, having not slept well last night, I planned to come home and nap a little before making a real dinner for my family.  As it turned out, my friend KN (aka "the girlfriend") with whom I have been trying to catch up for over a week, texted me right as I got off work.  We spent the next two hours on the phone - and only 15 minutes of the entire conversation was about Bro J.  Finally, our friendship stands on its own, without him. That made my day.

I didn't get my nap in, but I did get dinner made and was on time to pick up JJ from football at 5:30.  We had dinner together - all four of us - for the first time in over a week, without a baseball game on, even.  Now the kids are upstairs trying to put the game station together in the new "Game Room" - formally, C's bedroom - and J is on the couch nursing an upset stomach (not, mind you, related to my excellent dinner).

I am feeling good about the coming week.

I went to the gym this morning with a sort-of-new friend (PTA mom from JJ's elementary school that I rarely see anymore) because she's trying to talk me into doing a triathlon with her in the fall.  (Ok, let's laugh together over that, for a minute.  Because how ridiculous is that, really?  Me.  A triathlon.  I might as well go ahead and climb Mt Rainier while I'm at it. But she and some other moms I know from PTA are doing if for the second year and not one of them is any more in shape than I am. )  I haven't formally committed to it yet, but I did say I would train with them at the gym for a couple of weeks and see what happens.  At least it's something to get me to the gym every morning, some accountability.

On Thursday night/Friday morning, I am going to a Royal Wedding Party down the street at CH's house (she is British, although she has lived here most of her life.) It's a Pajamas and Tiaras party, with champagne, starting at 2 in the morning (because there's no way we're not watching it live!). At 10:30 Friday morning (hopefully after a nap) we're all going to High Tea at the Secret Garden Tea House downtown.  I was so excited to have been invited to this party, as I'm sure you can imagine; I wasn't thrilled about staying up all night to watch it alone.  The girl's weekend that my high school friends and I had planned for this event fell through, so life is good again.

And then I have Friday off.  Because really, who can go to work after that?

And nothing planned for the entire day!!


Anyway, I hope my high spirits lift you up too, and there's one more thing I could hardly wait to share with you.  I received a letter in the mail today from England, and when John handed it to me, he said, "Oh, here's your invitation to the wedding."  I laughed, looked at the return address, then giggled. "It's from Lisa! I'll bet it's an invitation to a wedding party!"

But when I opened it, it was so much better than that.  Just a card, a card I didn't even need to open, and you're the only person on earth who will appreciate it as much as I did.  (At least I hope you remember...)

Enjoy!

Love you!

A

Ugh :(

Good morning, Amanda.


I have been out of the swing of writing as well this vacation, so I thought I’d take this last opportunity to write before going back to school tomorrow.

Vacation went by really fast for me. Truth be told, I could use another week. I enjoyed myself, but I started out so damned tired that a couple days were gone by the time I could function. Then I spent a day cleaning and doing laundry, and the next day W came down. We had three great days together but then suddenly it was Friday. I made it a Barb day with beauty appointments (hair, pedi, mani), shopping and dinner but then it was the weekend. And since today is Easter and I have to be at my mom’s at 2, I needed to spend time yesterday thinking about and getting to ready to go back to school. That is to say, vacation mode has ended.

So I think I’ll skip the gym today so I can spend the morning relaxed in my nice, clean again space. No need to freak out trying to figure out when I need to leave for the gym in order to be home in time to make the salad and shower yada yada. Nope. Me, my blogs, and coffee will be followed by mimosas, bacon and eggs. Then I’ll make the salad and take a shower. I’ll count on leftovers from mom’s for lunch for tomorrow.

I wonder what you have going on for Easter today if anything, and hope all is well.

Love you,
Barb

Blah :(

Hey, Barb.

I am in such a writing funk! I didn't even look at my blog pages this weekend; I'm not paying that much attention to FB, either, which doesn't even require a brain.  I've been slugging around feeling very out of it the past couple of weeks.

I only have a minute before heading to work but wanted to wish you a great vacation week.  I hope your time with W is relaxing and fun - for both of you.  I did get your text yesterday about D and I'm sorry to hear she's down again.  Wonderful news about the baby though :)

Tonight I'm going for drinks and apps with my new friend KD, who is actually my floor supervisor at work.  (I think I mentioned I went to a party at her house a few weeks ago.) Tomorrow night  - dinner with K&R, Thursday- a football game, and football practice every minute in between.

We had one sunny day on Sunday and it lifted my spirits more than I can tell you.  Now it's back to snow and rain...and it's 39 freakin' degrees.  WTH.

Gotta run - sorry to be so out of touch.

Love you,
A

Refueling

Good morning.

OMG, thank god, I'm on vacation. One day down and I am starting to feel normal again. Yesterday I was soooo tired and so uninterested in doing anything; I gave myself permission to do nothing, and did little more than that. I did  leave the house to do some grocery shopping, but that was it. I even took a nap! I never nap. And today I feel like it is actually possible to refuel during this vacation, despite the fact that I had been running on empty--below E, on fumes--for the last several weeks. And it certainly doesnt't hurt knowing there are 9 only weeks left when we return. We went 18 weeks without vacation this last stretch; it's been ten weeks since those back-to-back snow days: those nine weeks should be a breeze.

I'm having dinner with my parents tonight (well, at 5) at a restaurant where they have a gift certificate (they are not restaurant people! I wonder where I come from...) but otherwise have no plans except to get some housework done so that I don't have to do everything tomorrow to get guest-ready. W comes to visit for a few days Tuesday, and I'm a little behind on housework. Somewhere in that cold and snowy stretch of 18 weeks I lost the motivation to have a perfect house. (After all, I was the only one hibernating here.) But now I need to catch up.Ugh....but I'm sure I'll be happy when my house gets back to beautiful.

I hope you're having a good weekend. If you aren't doing anything today, give me a call; I'll be happy for the break.

Love you,
Barb

Heavy Hearts

Hey there,

Struggling a little today but not so much emotionally.  I only slept a couple of hours all night and am totally dragging. Drank too much really good wine (we went to the Melting Pot for dinner - yum!) and had to be out of here at 4:00am to go to the airport, so my brain never really turned off.  Now I'm exhausted and grouchy.  We did have a good weekend though.

So sorry to hear about D.  You must be so sad.  My heart goes out to all of you; she and her Dad are so blessed to be surrounded by such loving family.  Hang in there, I know this is really painful.

I am just home for a couple of minutes this afternoon between work and an appt with MC, then to pick up JJ from football; he got up with us this morning so I'm guessing we'll all be ok with an early night. The sun is out (look quick!) so I'm going to throw some burgers on the grill when we get home but who knows? By then it could be hailing/snowing/raining.

I hope today went well ... "busy day"?  Did you have testing? Would love to catch up this week sometime; we still need to pick a date!

Love you,
A

Good Luck to C!

Good morning, Amanda.

A quick note this morning to wish C--and you and J--well today. I imagine this weekend was an emotional one; I hope you were all able to make some fun with it all. I hope also that you can take some comfort in the fact that as much as she is going far away, she is going to be close to family.

I'm hanging in there...a bittersweet weekend getting to hang out with D's sisters but knowing they were here because she and her dad are very sick. She did get out of the hospital on Friday, but she's in a wheelchair now, and she's still experiencing a lot of pain. Sunday night I was struck with a profound--and knowing--sadness (as was L), and the feeling hasn't left me. Last night I went to bed at 8, partly because of my sadness and partly because I decided that I really need to take care of myself and try at least to get enough sleep. I can't handle my emotions and stress well when I'm overtired; sleep seemed like a good alternative to sitting around crying. I have a big day at school today, so I'm sure I'll be grateful I went to bed early.

Good luck today with C's send off...I'm thinking of you all and sending my love.
xo,
Barb

Headin' Out

Hey,

Just a quick note before we head out of town for the weekend. We're going to help C pack up her apartment into a POD, then bring her back here with us...taking her to the airport on Tuesday :(

I didn't sleep last night so I'm a little off today.  Just waiting for J's football practice to be over so we can leave...I think I'll snooze for a bit beforehand.

I'll be on my cell while I'm gone so you can text or call if you want. I hope you have a great weekend planned and are doing well today.

Love you
A

Dinner of Champions

On my way to the hospital last night, I fantasized--well that's an exaggeration, let's say I thought about maybe stopping off on the way home and taking myself out for a nice dinner. I deserved it, right? Tuesday was one of the worst days EVER in my life, and dammit I should treat myself to something nice. Yeah, then I remembered I needed milk and half and half and needed to stop at the store, so maybe it would just be easier get a salad bar there or just get home and make something simple. Doesn't get much simpler than a grilled cheese. And that wine? Well, we texted about that: delicious. Love it. Will buy again, especially to have when you're here. And today I have a nice salad for lunch that I didn’t have to make. Turns out well in the end.

I don’t have plans to go to the hospital again today, although it would be great to see D’s sisters who are in from California. I need today not to take the hour drive there. I know she is in good hands and it’s okay for me to stay away. Instead I hope to treat myself to some new shoes or sandals this afternoon, and maybe a spring cardigan, and since I didn’t think to take any fish or chicken out of the freezer today, I plan to stop at an Italian place near the mall for their happy hour, which includes small portions of pasta.

And then tomorrow is Friday. Thank god. The week will be over and I’ll have the weekend to really sleep, and then only one more week until vacation…which brings me one week closer to pool season, my birthday (the same weekend), the end of the year, summer. I’m ready for it all.

For all of that anyway. More bumps in the road with D? Seeing her deteriorate?....not so much. Some days it will be easier than others, though, like today. And I plan to take advantage of that.

Hope you have a good day, too. I’ll text you when I’m home to see if you’re available to chat.

Love,
Barb

Quick Hello

Hey, Barb.

Best laid plans....

I never even got to the computer last night, let alone the page.  I woke up early this morning and bagged a PT appt in favor of sitting here and writing.  After preparing my breakfast and lunch, cleaning up the kitchen and sundry other tasks, it is now 8:13 and I've barely time to jot a few notes here.  I'm beginning to think my 30 challenge was a rotten idea; I think I need to get organized before I commit to major projects.

It was great to hear your voice last night, if only for a minute.  I am sooooo excited for my trip in August and can't wait to nail down a date.  Just putting it on the calendar (in purple, of course!) will brighten my mood considerably.  Promise me there will be sun?  If all we do is sit by the pool for an entire week, I will be in heaven. So if the whole Boston thing doesn't work out, no worries.

Sending you and D white light and good thoughts today - looking forward to catching up more tomorrow afternoon.

Love you,
A

Out of Touch

Hey, you.

I'm feeling out of touch and hope everything is okay with you.

I've recovered, I think, from having my wallet stolen last weekend, and had a good week. Thursday night I went out with an old friend whom I haven't seen in years. In fact, I don't think we've ever been out just the two of us. We had been talking about going out for a long time and I'm glad we finally did; we had a great time. (When you visit I am definitely taking you to her restaurant).

I'm around this weekend other than running errands today (which include purchasing a new wallet) and dinner at my mother's tomorrow.

Send me a text if you can't sit down and write?....

Love you,
Barb