Positive Energy

Hey, Barb.

It is odd, the timing of W's news.  Yet another affirmation of our belief that all of our energy is connected, and everything happens the way it should, in the grand scheme of things.  I love that you were able to mourn, breathe and let go. The more we do it, the easier it gets, and the better we feel.  I'm glad we are both learning to dismiss the idea that sadness and depression = compassion and love. When D was very ill, you wrote (or said, I can't remember) something about not wasting her precious moments with your tears, and that really stuck with me. No amount of our personal grief will improve the situation, and, in fact, often makes it worse.

Still, this is awful for W and is more for you to think about. Sorry :(

You know what I love even more than the letting go? I smiled to see that you took the time to cook a beautiful dinner and enjoy it with a glass of wine.  Will I get there someday? Will I move beyond the Drive Through Fix in those moments of stress?  I hope so.

~

My late night at football last night worked out well for sleeping. I was soooooo tired by the time I took my Ambien that I didn't have a chance. Today, though, it's gloomy and gray, so my motivation level isn't what I had hoped. The promise of a weekend in the 80s is helping, and having a huge list to tackle for TK's party will get my butt in gear, but for the moment I'm allowing myself to whittle away the morning doing....not much at all.  Making lists. Not beating myself up for not doing anything.

I'm going back to work on Monday, to my same schedule for awhile.  In the middle of September I will move to an even better schedule and we will be moving into our new clinic, which will be nice.  I get to work 7:30-12:30 on the main floor with my good friend KD and I'm really looking forward to the change.  And getting my paycheck back. My decision to go back earlier than planned, though, has kind of moved everything into GO mode; how is it I just had four weeks off and not one single project on my summer list got completed? Wait, not even one of them got started!!  Grrrrr.


Alright...I'm ready to motor.  Enjoy your lunch and your day!
Love you
A