Welcome home! I'm anxiously waiting to hear all about your trip to the sunshine state. Wondering if those fish tacos were all that and a bag of chips....
Love you,
A
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Moving forward....
Hey, Barb.
Oh, my. All I did was process the thought in my head: 'I'd love to go back to school'. The next thing you know, I'm sitting here writing an admissions essay and requesting transcripts. Yikes!!
Over the weekend I decided I really, really want to do this. I told J all about it, and while he wasn't exactly over the moon, he was supportive, for the most part. It didn't matter, though, I had already made up my mind. Funny how that works. So today I've been on fire, on the phone with my colleges, playing around with my essay content, getting the online app completed. I mean, this is nothing like applying right out of high school, but it's still labor/time intensive. And it's not like I'm sitting in English class with a teacher at my disposal, coaching me :) Still, it's kind of fun. Exciting. I'm not obligated to do it if I'm accepted, so I guess I've got nothing to lose by applying.
Day Six tonight of my boot camp -which I love-hate. It's torture, actually. But I feel soooo good when I get out of there, even if I hurt all over. I didn't realize how seriously out of shape I am :( This week, I'm committed to not drinking. Hard enough on a regular day, but last night K and S invited me over for wine and steamed clams that S brought home from the beach yesterday. It was pretty tough to pass up, but I did it! What with the exercise and the whole school/career thing, I'm feeling empowered and positive ~~ can't beat it.
As far as our vacation goes, I think we should just go ahead and start making solid plans if we want to because I'm coming no matter what - time off or not!!
I hope San Diego is everything you've been waiting for, and then some. Looking forward to hearing all about it when you return!
Love you,
Amanda
Oh, my. All I did was process the thought in my head: 'I'd love to go back to school'. The next thing you know, I'm sitting here writing an admissions essay and requesting transcripts. Yikes!!
Over the weekend I decided I really, really want to do this. I told J all about it, and while he wasn't exactly over the moon, he was supportive, for the most part. It didn't matter, though, I had already made up my mind. Funny how that works. So today I've been on fire, on the phone with my colleges, playing around with my essay content, getting the online app completed. I mean, this is nothing like applying right out of high school, but it's still labor/time intensive. And it's not like I'm sitting in English class with a teacher at my disposal, coaching me :) Still, it's kind of fun. Exciting. I'm not obligated to do it if I'm accepted, so I guess I've got nothing to lose by applying.
Day Six tonight of my boot camp -which I love-hate. It's torture, actually. But I feel soooo good when I get out of there, even if I hurt all over. I didn't realize how seriously out of shape I am :( This week, I'm committed to not drinking. Hard enough on a regular day, but last night K and S invited me over for wine and steamed clams that S brought home from the beach yesterday. It was pretty tough to pass up, but I did it! What with the exercise and the whole school/career thing, I'm feeling empowered and positive ~~ can't beat it.
As far as our vacation goes, I think we should just go ahead and start making solid plans if we want to because I'm coming no matter what - time off or not!!
I hope San Diego is everything you've been waiting for, and then some. Looking forward to hearing all about it when you return!
Love you,
Amanda
Monday, April 9, 2012
Dinner
Hey, Amanda.
So I just had one of those moments like you had the other night...As I sat here with a glass of wine and my favorite non-dinner dinner--caprese; olives; pâté; warm, crusty bread-- I thought of how much I look forward to sharing a dinner like that with you when you visit. No worries about what to wear and where to go (or how much it will cost), just us with some good wine and nibbles and plenty of time to talk. Maybe the day you get in we should plan to do just that.
In the homestretch now, five days till California, debating a sick day tomorrow to get some laundry and list-making done, but not sure I'll follow through...Lesson plans are on my desk but it's crunch time, so I may have to save the sick day for the week I get back...or some other time. I'll keep you posted.
Hilarious picture...so sorry...
Love you,
Barb
So I just had one of those moments like you had the other night...As I sat here with a glass of wine and my favorite non-dinner dinner--caprese; olives; pâté; warm, crusty bread-- I thought of how much I look forward to sharing a dinner like that with you when you visit. No worries about what to wear and where to go (or how much it will cost), just us with some good wine and nibbles and plenty of time to talk. Maybe the day you get in we should plan to do just that.
In the homestretch now, five days till California, debating a sick day tomorrow to get some laundry and list-making done, but not sure I'll follow through...Lesson plans are on my desk but it's crunch time, so I may have to save the sick day for the week I get back...or some other time. I'll keep you posted.
Hilarious picture...so sorry...
Love you,
Barb
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Planning
Hey there. First I must say I had not read your post from the 28th before we spoke the other night; sorry if you had to repeat yourself about anything... Oh, and six nights is fine/perfect/great. Can't wait. Now let's just keep our fingers crossed that you get the time off and that it doesn't conflict with J's conference.
Also, I'm sorry I abruptly ended the conversation but I was having trouble hearing you and it was frustrating as I felt like I was concentrating on hearing and not really listening to you. I think in general car chats don't really work for me but I try when they alternative is no conversation at all...but maybe we can plan to talk one afternoon or evening when you are home so we can catch up for real.
This is a busy week for me but vacation is so close I can taste it. Yum: fish tacos and margaritas with the Pacific Ocean breeze. I'm timing everything now--mani, pedi, haircut--in relation to my trip. If I get my nails done now will they be okay for california? Or should I wait? I don't really need another pedi yet, but I'll be overdue in Cali since I no time for that next week. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Hope we can catch up here or on the phone before that long-awaited trip...
Love you,
Barb
Also, I'm sorry I abruptly ended the conversation but I was having trouble hearing you and it was frustrating as I felt like I was concentrating on hearing and not really listening to you. I think in general car chats don't really work for me but I try when they alternative is no conversation at all...but maybe we can plan to talk one afternoon or evening when you are home so we can catch up for real.
This is a busy week for me but vacation is so close I can taste it. Yum: fish tacos and margaritas with the Pacific Ocean breeze. I'm timing everything now--mani, pedi, haircut--in relation to my trip. If I get my nails done now will they be okay for california? Or should I wait? I don't really need another pedi yet, but I'll be overdue in Cali since I no time for that next week. I'm sure you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Hope we can catch up here or on the phone before that long-awaited trip...
Love you,
Barb
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Hey, you.
Ah, what a tough weekend for you. Yucky weather and sad memories, all at once. I hope your time with the family was nice, at the very least.
I know what you mean about nice weather putting a spring in your step, though. We had a couple of relatively nice days this week, meaning that it was partly sunny and not raining. On those days, I felt so motivated I could hardly stand it. They kind of made the other, gross days even less tolerable for some reason. But I think we're headed out of the woods...maybe. No more snow, anyway.
Speaking of motivation, I just got off the phone with some woman at the Cross Fit gym that I recently joined. Actually, I bought the membership at the auction this past weekend for a song, compared to the price I was ready to pay. I bid on it before I could even think about it because I knew I might not do it otherwise. Surprisingly, no one else bid -- on a fitness program that has the highest injury rate in the country? Huh! Weird! -- so it was all mine. Now, of course, I'm freaking out about starting on Monday. Spring, summer, here I come.
Things have settled a little since the auction went off without a hitch on Saturday night, but my schedule and J's are still off balance so we haven't seen much of each other. JJ started football on Monday, but then has no school today, and half days tomorrow and Friday, so this week is all messed up. Still, it's nice to be done with the auction and to have a break for awhile. This weekend, I am meeting up with my old friend SJ for lunch. I am so excited to see her and catch up on all the years behind us.
And speaking of old friends...I put in for the week of August 8-16th for my vacation to CT. There is a flight that has a 3-hour layover at Midway which I might try to catch in order to meet my friend LC for a drink while there. Or, I am also kicking around the idea of spending a night or two there on my way home. I have no idea what the cost of that would be; I may be just dreaming, but it's not out of the way. I am hoping to spend six nights with you, at any rate, if that's not too long? Let me know what you think. Unfortunately, it takes my boss forever to respond to PTO requests, so it might be awhile before we can solidify plans. I'll keep you posted.
I'm attempting a Cooking Light Mac 'n Cheese recipe tonight, made with Gruyere and butternut squash...doesn't that sound awesome? Miraculously, we are all home, so I thought I'd put a little effort into this mom thing.
Hope your week is going well ~
Love you,
A
Sunday, March 25, 2012
March Again
Hey there.
Back to reality: it is only March, not May; it is not supposed to be 75 and sunny. Today it is rainy and in the 50s again, but I swear I became a different person last week. Just the promise of spring in the unseasonably warm week put a spring in my step. Breaking out my sandals and capris gave me energy I hadn't felt in a while.
Knowing today was going to be cruddy, I did all my running around yesterday so I could hang out today and not need to leave the house. Already this morning I got a pork shoulder into the crockpot for bbq pulled pork, made lemon simple syrup, set up a jar of sweet tea vodka to steep, and made some broccoli slaw. Clearly the new meds are working, as I'm happy to be so productive, wondering what I should do next.
I suppose I'm also staying busy because it is distracting me from the fact that today D's remains are being set off to sea. Friday was her birthday; her sisters got into town that night to be with my aunt and uncle and with said plans for today. Tomorrow we are all getting together at another cousin's house...which reminds me that I am bringing the salad and have six heads of Romaine to wash, cut and spin.
Guess I'll get to it.
Love you,
Barb
Back to reality: it is only March, not May; it is not supposed to be 75 and sunny. Today it is rainy and in the 50s again, but I swear I became a different person last week. Just the promise of spring in the unseasonably warm week put a spring in my step. Breaking out my sandals and capris gave me energy I hadn't felt in a while.
Knowing today was going to be cruddy, I did all my running around yesterday so I could hang out today and not need to leave the house. Already this morning I got a pork shoulder into the crockpot for bbq pulled pork, made lemon simple syrup, set up a jar of sweet tea vodka to steep, and made some broccoli slaw. Clearly the new meds are working, as I'm happy to be so productive, wondering what I should do next.
I suppose I'm also staying busy because it is distracting me from the fact that today D's remains are being set off to sea. Friday was her birthday; her sisters got into town that night to be with my aunt and uncle and with said plans for today. Tomorrow we are all getting together at another cousin's house...which reminds me that I am bringing the salad and have six heads of Romaine to wash, cut and spin.
Guess I'll get to it.
Love you,
Barb
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Hangin'
Hey you,
To answer your question on my FB post, why on earth would I think it a good idea to begin drinking at noon, with beer, and continue drinking ~ non stop ~ for the next eleven hours, moving from champagne to Irish car bombs to red wine? It's a miracle I didn't die, really. I'm never drinking again. Ever.
But....it was a very fun day :) We had lunch at the first show with BLU. From there we hit the end of the second show, which was right around the corner - oh, yeah, and we had jello shots there. Good lord. By the time we were done, we were in total party mode. The plan had originally been to go home, chill for the afternoon, then go back out in the evening. So much for that. We drove right over to SS' house to get her caught up with us until her husband got off work at 5:00. By then, the writing was on the wall. We actually only made it to one show in Tacoma but as it turns out, all the other pubs were so insanely crowded we wouldn't have gotten in anywhere else.
So today, when I finally got off the couch at noon, I powered through Costco then made a huge, fattening, creamy chicken pot pie for dinner. It rocked. All I wanted was serious comfort food :) Now the three of us are going to watch a movie and hit the sack early.
I hope you had a good weekend too!
Love you,
A
To answer your question on my FB post, why on earth would I think it a good idea to begin drinking at noon, with beer, and continue drinking ~ non stop ~ for the next eleven hours, moving from champagne to Irish car bombs to red wine? It's a miracle I didn't die, really. I'm never drinking again. Ever.
But....it was a very fun day :) We had lunch at the first show with BLU. From there we hit the end of the second show, which was right around the corner - oh, yeah, and we had jello shots there. Good lord. By the time we were done, we were in total party mode. The plan had originally been to go home, chill for the afternoon, then go back out in the evening. So much for that. We drove right over to SS' house to get her caught up with us until her husband got off work at 5:00. By then, the writing was on the wall. We actually only made it to one show in Tacoma but as it turns out, all the other pubs were so insanely crowded we wouldn't have gotten in anywhere else.
So today, when I finally got off the couch at noon, I powered through Costco then made a huge, fattening, creamy chicken pot pie for dinner. It rocked. All I wanted was serious comfort food :) Now the three of us are going to watch a movie and hit the sack early.
I hope you had a good weekend too!
Love you,
A
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Cleaning House
Good morning.
It is spring here. We had a mostly beautiful week and next week is supposed to be even nicer-- mid-70s (vs 60s) and sunny nice--a couple of days. I am looking forward to it, and promising myself to get out and enjoy it. Even just a 20 minute walk will do me wonders--especially since I haven't been to the gym in ages...which I'm sure is contributing to my depression--or a way I am NOT contributing to feeling better when I could be.
So, yeah, I didn't see that coming. When you called I had no idea that I'd fall apart so instantly. Just as I wasn't prepared to cry in my endocrinologist's office either. But now that a few days have passed, I'm beginning to feel better and can see that I had gotten to the breaking point. All it took was for someone to genuinely ask me how I'm doing and it was enough to set off the water works, and for me to begin to articulate that I've had enough sadness and sickness and stress for a lifetime and, in fact, I am depressed about it. While I can't make all that sickness and stress go away because they are not within my control, I can start to figure out how not to take it on as my own. I am not the family therapist, nor a visiting nurse. I am a sister and daughter and girlfriend, and I have my limits. Now I just have to work out what they are and how to stick to them. Thanks for being there for me as I get started.
On a lighter note, I think the event planning idea is brilliant: you'd be very good at it! Your task will be to figure out if there is a market for it in your area and how to get started. (Then while we're at it, once we get you figured out we need to figure out my next career. Feeling trapped in my profession is definitely not helping my funk...) Next time we talk, lets talk about that some more.
After a pedicure this afternoon I have lots of cleaning to do this weekend (entropy again, and M&J are coming over Tuesday night) but hope to see it as an opportunity to let spring in and start cleaning house figurativley as well...
Love you,
Barb
PS good luck to J today!
It is spring here. We had a mostly beautiful week and next week is supposed to be even nicer-- mid-70s (vs 60s) and sunny nice--a couple of days. I am looking forward to it, and promising myself to get out and enjoy it. Even just a 20 minute walk will do me wonders--especially since I haven't been to the gym in ages...which I'm sure is contributing to my depression--or a way I am NOT contributing to feeling better when I could be.
So, yeah, I didn't see that coming. When you called I had no idea that I'd fall apart so instantly. Just as I wasn't prepared to cry in my endocrinologist's office either. But now that a few days have passed, I'm beginning to feel better and can see that I had gotten to the breaking point. All it took was for someone to genuinely ask me how I'm doing and it was enough to set off the water works, and for me to begin to articulate that I've had enough sadness and sickness and stress for a lifetime and, in fact, I am depressed about it. While I can't make all that sickness and stress go away because they are not within my control, I can start to figure out how not to take it on as my own. I am not the family therapist, nor a visiting nurse. I am a sister and daughter and girlfriend, and I have my limits. Now I just have to work out what they are and how to stick to them. Thanks for being there for me as I get started.
On a lighter note, I think the event planning idea is brilliant: you'd be very good at it! Your task will be to figure out if there is a market for it in your area and how to get started. (Then while we're at it, once we get you figured out we need to figure out my next career. Feeling trapped in my profession is definitely not helping my funk...) Next time we talk, lets talk about that some more.
After a pedicure this afternoon I have lots of cleaning to do this weekend (entropy again, and M&J are coming over Tuesday night) but hope to see it as an opportunity to let spring in and start cleaning house figurativley as well...
Love you,
Barb
PS good luck to J today!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Hey, you.
I hope you're feeling better today. Wish I knew how to help more...
More snow and rain, rain, rain today. I'm trying to hold on to this positive mood I've had since I got back, but if this doesn't stop soon, I'm not very optimistic. I came back from vacation feeling like I think you're supposed to feel after being away: rested, rejuvenated, ready to re-tackle life. I didn't feel like I needed another vacation. And I'm still feeling that way, but it sure is gloomy and depressing.
While we were away, I did a lot of thinking about my job and how I'd love to leave it but I don't really know what else to do. I had such a great session with MC yesterday, exploring options and getting some really good ideas out there. Recently, things at work improved a little and it's temporarily more tolerable, so she suggested that I do a lot of research about my career move and take my time. As you know, this is really hard for me. But, I'm very excited about going in a whole new direction with my life. I'm thinking about going back to work full time for the next few years, in order to develop an actual career path, then be able to have some flexibility when J retires in 2016. My new thing? Event planning. What do you think?
Last night, K, S&T and the kids came over for dinner and we had one of those laugh-until-your-jaws-hurt evenings. We stayed up until 11:30 and were all totally wiped out today, but it was worth it. K's son just took the bar exam and she was talking about the party she is going to throw when he passes. I jumped in and offered to do it, then we had a long talk about how I should do this for a living. I know I should; I plan so many things around here and it's my favorite thing in the world to do. So we'll see where this all leads. MC had some awesome ideas for researching and recreating my resume. I'm psyched.
Not much else happening. I don't think I told you, but about a week ago, right before I left for AZ, I got a message on FB from an old friend; do you remember my old roommate from Boston? Her sister (SJ) and I were also very close and lived near each other when I was married to K. We have been out of touch for over 15 years now, and she found me. We've been chatting on FB almost daily and I just love it. I have missed her so much, and have always wished I could go back and fix the things that went wrong to end our friendship in the first place. I don't know if it will lead to getting back in touch with her sister or not...you remember how ugly that all ended I'm sure.
I'll be sending you white light and energy, my friend.
Love you,
A
I hope you're feeling better today. Wish I knew how to help more...
More snow and rain, rain, rain today. I'm trying to hold on to this positive mood I've had since I got back, but if this doesn't stop soon, I'm not very optimistic. I came back from vacation feeling like I think you're supposed to feel after being away: rested, rejuvenated, ready to re-tackle life. I didn't feel like I needed another vacation. And I'm still feeling that way, but it sure is gloomy and depressing.
While we were away, I did a lot of thinking about my job and how I'd love to leave it but I don't really know what else to do. I had such a great session with MC yesterday, exploring options and getting some really good ideas out there. Recently, things at work improved a little and it's temporarily more tolerable, so she suggested that I do a lot of research about my career move and take my time. As you know, this is really hard for me. But, I'm very excited about going in a whole new direction with my life. I'm thinking about going back to work full time for the next few years, in order to develop an actual career path, then be able to have some flexibility when J retires in 2016. My new thing? Event planning. What do you think?
Last night, K, S&T and the kids came over for dinner and we had one of those laugh-until-your-jaws-hurt evenings. We stayed up until 11:30 and were all totally wiped out today, but it was worth it. K's son just took the bar exam and she was talking about the party she is going to throw when he passes. I jumped in and offered to do it, then we had a long talk about how I should do this for a living. I know I should; I plan so many things around here and it's my favorite thing in the world to do. So we'll see where this all leads. MC had some awesome ideas for researching and recreating my resume. I'm psyched.
Not much else happening. I don't think I told you, but about a week ago, right before I left for AZ, I got a message on FB from an old friend; do you remember my old roommate from Boston? Her sister (SJ) and I were also very close and lived near each other when I was married to K. We have been out of touch for over 15 years now, and she found me. We've been chatting on FB almost daily and I just love it. I have missed her so much, and have always wished I could go back and fix the things that went wrong to end our friendship in the first place. I don't know if it will lead to getting back in touch with her sister or not...you remember how ugly that all ended I'm sure.
I'll be sending you white light and energy, my friend.
Love you,
A
Monday, March 12, 2012
Stressed
Hey, Amanda,
Welcome back. I'm glad you enjoyed vacation but am sorry you didn't have more time for reentry...I think it's especially difficult to get back in the swing of things when you've been away both physically and mentally so I hope today went reasonably well. We'll have to keep reentry in mind when we plan our vacation, which we should do as soon as we can....Try me whenever you have a chance later this week. I should be around.
Until we talk I'll say things with me are okay...not awful, not great, and perfect for falling apart on your endocrinologist when she asks how you are. I'm feeling a lot of other people's stress right now and it doesn't feel good. Or fair. I'd like a little while to be happy for myself, for the fact that I have a job and am caught up on my bills and am in relatively good health.
I'll leave it at that until we talk, which I hope is soon.
Love you,
B
PS Your dear friend, Barb, promises to send you the book she bought for you weeks ago any day now...
Welcome back. I'm glad you enjoyed vacation but am sorry you didn't have more time for reentry...I think it's especially difficult to get back in the swing of things when you've been away both physically and mentally so I hope today went reasonably well. We'll have to keep reentry in mind when we plan our vacation, which we should do as soon as we can....Try me whenever you have a chance later this week. I should be around.
Until we talk I'll say things with me are okay...not awful, not great, and perfect for falling apart on your endocrinologist when she asks how you are. I'm feeling a lot of other people's stress right now and it doesn't feel good. Or fair. I'd like a little while to be happy for myself, for the fact that I have a job and am caught up on my bills and am in relatively good health.
I'll leave it at that until we talk, which I hope is soon.
Love you,
B
PS Your dear friend, Barb, promises to send you the book she bought for you weeks ago any day now...
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Home Again, Home Again...
Hey, Barb.
I did read your post before I left, by just moments. I'm sorry I was acting like you'd disappeared for weeks; no, that in no way commits me to immediate response in the future. Let's not be silly ;)
We arrived home from Arizona this evening to a 40 degree decrease in temperature and too much laundry to think about. I had a great, great time, but it really is nice to be home, as always. I wish we had built in a "debrief" day, as you say, because the prospect of getting up and out of here at 6:15 tomorrow, to get back to my daily life, is not a pleasant one. Particularly since I started a really good book on the plane and all I really want to do is curl up on the couch under a big blanket and read all day. Alas, real life calls.
It'll be a busy week in some ways - oral surgery tomorrow (not a huge deal), MC Tuesday, and auction, auction, auction in every other free moment. (The event is the 24th and will I be glad when that is over!)
This weekend is, obviously, St. Patrick's Day, and J's first public performance with his band. I guess I'll go out and see him, but I'm not sure who will join me. Maybe I'll just go alone and not drink, take pictures or something. I'm not really feeling all that St. Patrick's Dayish.
Wednesday and Thursday I'm free after work although I'll be working on my resume and a cover letter for a job at Amazon.com. Will tell you more when we talk....hopefully one of those afternoons?
Hope you had a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend and you're ready for the week tomorrow.
Love you,
A
p.s. The book is The Night Listener, by Armistead Maupin. I bought it at Powell's some years ago, with my dear friend, Barb.
I did read your post before I left, by just moments. I'm sorry I was acting like you'd disappeared for weeks; no, that in no way commits me to immediate response in the future. Let's not be silly ;)
We arrived home from Arizona this evening to a 40 degree decrease in temperature and too much laundry to think about. I had a great, great time, but it really is nice to be home, as always. I wish we had built in a "debrief" day, as you say, because the prospect of getting up and out of here at 6:15 tomorrow, to get back to my daily life, is not a pleasant one. Particularly since I started a really good book on the plane and all I really want to do is curl up on the couch under a big blanket and read all day. Alas, real life calls.
It'll be a busy week in some ways - oral surgery tomorrow (not a huge deal), MC Tuesday, and auction, auction, auction in every other free moment. (The event is the 24th and will I be glad when that is over!)
This weekend is, obviously, St. Patrick's Day, and J's first public performance with his band. I guess I'll go out and see him, but I'm not sure who will join me. Maybe I'll just go alone and not drink, take pictures or something. I'm not really feeling all that St. Patrick's Dayish.
Wednesday and Thursday I'm free after work although I'll be working on my resume and a cover letter for a job at Amazon.com. Will tell you more when we talk....hopefully one of those afternoons?
Hope you had a relaxing and rejuvenating weekend and you're ready for the week tomorrow.
Love you,
A
p.s. The book is The Night Listener, by Armistead Maupin. I bought it at Powell's some years ago, with my dear friend, Barb.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Planning
Hey, you.
Hope you have a chance to read this before heading off on vacation.
Sorry I didn’t have a chance to respond to your post on Friday before I left for Boston for the weekend. (Can I expect immediate turnaround now on ;-) say 8 hours or less, too?)
My weekend was good—albeit a little devious. I spent the first night without W knowing I was even there…just needed a little time for me. I went out for dinner (drank too much), went out shopping after breakfast, went out for lunch, and then met him on Saturday afternoon. He and I pretty much stayed holed up until Sunday afternoon, getting takeout for dinner and watching lots of TV. That’s pretty much it, but I was exhausted nonetheless last night when I got home.
Spending time with him is both physically taxing and emotionally draining, so bedtime came early last night, as I’m sure it will again tonight. Meanwhile I’m super busy playing catching up at school and counting down till my spring vacation, which cannot get here fast enough.
Speaking of vacation, I hope you enjoy yours. I’ll be jealous the whole time! When you get back, let's plan ours.
Love,
Barb
Hope you have a chance to read this before heading off on vacation.
Sorry I didn’t have a chance to respond to your post on Friday before I left for Boston for the weekend. (Can I expect immediate turnaround now on ;-) say 8 hours or less, too?)
My weekend was good—albeit a little devious. I spent the first night without W knowing I was even there…just needed a little time for me. I went out for dinner (drank too much), went out shopping after breakfast, went out for lunch, and then met him on Saturday afternoon. He and I pretty much stayed holed up until Sunday afternoon, getting takeout for dinner and watching lots of TV. That’s pretty much it, but I was exhausted nonetheless last night when I got home.
Spending time with him is both physically taxing and emotionally draining, so bedtime came early last night, as I’m sure it will again tonight. Meanwhile I’m super busy playing catching up at school and counting down till my spring vacation, which cannot get here fast enough.
Speaking of vacation, I hope you enjoy yours. I’ll be jealous the whole time! When you get back, let's plan ours.
Love,
Barb
Friday, March 2, 2012
A Good Friday
Good morning, Barb.
It's a rare morning when I leave myself time for reading and (!) writing. Fridays, JJ has 0 period Choir, so I end up with an extra half hour to myself. I don't think there has been one of those days I haven't completely wasted and ended up being late to work anyway. Yay... I like days like today. I'm thinking I'll hold onto this feeling of getting it right.
Things have calmed down around here, now that all the major work upstairs is mostly done, my party is over, JB has come and gone, and J was finally accepted into his pipes and drums band. (His first public performance will be St. Patrick's Day.) I kind of took this week off from doing much after work, even though I still have switch plates to replace and little stuff like that. I got bored shopping for lamps and ceiling fans so I gave up for awhile. I haven't loved my bedroom for years ~ it certainly doesn't need to be finished today. Just the new carpet and paint are enough to make me feel soooo much better.
This weekend, JJ's off to a sleepover tonight, so J and I are having date night. Don't know where we're going for dinner, but I'm thinking about getting The Ides of March to watch on DVD later. Have you seen it? Tomorrow, I do have to get on the minutia of decorating, so we'll spend time on that and other puttering activities. Saturday night is dinner at K&R's - her oldest son finished the bar exam for the second time on Thursday, so drinks are in order. Evenings at their house are always a good time, so I'm looking forward to that.
Then it's just three days until we leave for the sun! We take off late Tuesday afternoon for Phoenix - a little golf, a few ball games at spring training, cold beers by the pool and shopping with my mom. I can't imagine a better way to spend next week, particularly since it's currently snowing here. (I know, it's not really snowing, like in your part of the country. It's west coast snow. Still.)
I hope all is well with you ~ have you heard anything about dates this summer? I can't wait for our vacation!
Have a great weekend!
Love you
A
It's a rare morning when I leave myself time for reading and (!) writing. Fridays, JJ has 0 period Choir, so I end up with an extra half hour to myself. I don't think there has been one of those days I haven't completely wasted and ended up being late to work anyway. Yay... I like days like today. I'm thinking I'll hold onto this feeling of getting it right.
Things have calmed down around here, now that all the major work upstairs is mostly done, my party is over, JB has come and gone, and J was finally accepted into his pipes and drums band. (His first public performance will be St. Patrick's Day.) I kind of took this week off from doing much after work, even though I still have switch plates to replace and little stuff like that. I got bored shopping for lamps and ceiling fans so I gave up for awhile. I haven't loved my bedroom for years ~ it certainly doesn't need to be finished today. Just the new carpet and paint are enough to make me feel soooo much better.
This weekend, JJ's off to a sleepover tonight, so J and I are having date night. Don't know where we're going for dinner, but I'm thinking about getting The Ides of March to watch on DVD later. Have you seen it? Tomorrow, I do have to get on the minutia of decorating, so we'll spend time on that and other puttering activities. Saturday night is dinner at K&R's - her oldest son finished the bar exam for the second time on Thursday, so drinks are in order. Evenings at their house are always a good time, so I'm looking forward to that.
Then it's just three days until we leave for the sun! We take off late Tuesday afternoon for Phoenix - a little golf, a few ball games at spring training, cold beers by the pool and shopping with my mom. I can't imagine a better way to spend next week, particularly since it's currently snowing here. (I know, it's not really snowing, like in your part of the country. It's west coast snow. Still.)
I hope all is well with you ~ have you heard anything about dates this summer? I can't wait for our vacation!
Have a great weekend!
Love you
A
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Hey,
I'm so sorry you've been sick again. Nothing worse than a stomach bug :(
I, however, did take Monday off. I wasn't sick, though, just sick of my job. K and I went up to the city and spent the day waxing and lunching and shopping; it was totally worth using a sick day. Now the week is flying by and I'm less miserable at work. For now....
This weekend will be busy with JJ's birthday, starting with dinner at the Space Needle on Friday night and ending with an Airsoft War out in the woods on Sunday. The kids have a four and 1/2 day weekend, which will be fun for them, but I don't understand why the district didn't plug a couple of our make up days in there instead. The weather sucks right now; I'd much rather have the extra days at the end of the year, but whatever.
We celebrated Valentine's Day with dinner over at K's house last night, as R was out of town. My boys did, indeed, treat me well. I drank a little too much wine, though, and was kind of hanging today. Now I'm watching the clock, waiting for 8:30, so I can go to bed at a reasonably early hour. I just started a really good book - The Sometimes Daughter - so I'm anxious to curl up and read before I zonk out.
I'm looking forward to our phone tag ending soon, although I'm not sure when it might. Would love to get caught up.
Love you,
A
I'm so sorry you've been sick again. Nothing worse than a stomach bug :(
I, however, did take Monday off. I wasn't sick, though, just sick of my job. K and I went up to the city and spent the day waxing and lunching and shopping; it was totally worth using a sick day. Now the week is flying by and I'm less miserable at work. For now....
This weekend will be busy with JJ's birthday, starting with dinner at the Space Needle on Friday night and ending with an Airsoft War out in the woods on Sunday. The kids have a four and 1/2 day weekend, which will be fun for them, but I don't understand why the district didn't plug a couple of our make up days in there instead. The weather sucks right now; I'd much rather have the extra days at the end of the year, but whatever.
We celebrated Valentine's Day with dinner over at K's house last night, as R was out of town. My boys did, indeed, treat me well. I drank a little too much wine, though, and was kind of hanging today. Now I'm watching the clock, waiting for 8:30, so I can go to bed at a reasonably early hour. I just started a really good book - The Sometimes Daughter - so I'm anxious to curl up and read before I zonk out.
I'm looking forward to our phone tag ending soon, although I'm not sure when it might. Would love to get caught up.
Love you,
A
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Timing
Arg. Our timing seems to be off when it comes to connecting on the phone. Good thing we have our blog...when we use it! ;-)
Before I get all Susie's Sick Again on you let me say Happy Valentines's Day! I hope J or one of your boys (maybe both, so all of them?) does something nice for you today and makes you feel special and loved.
Here in my world I am feeling loved but celebrating alone. Not that I'm celebrating Valentine's Day as much as I am just feeling better. Well, maybe I am celebrating a little of both. Making American chop suey for dinner was a bit of a nod to myself and being able to comfort myself.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I had a rare-for-me respiratory thing and I guess I wasn't 100% before W came down and the stress just left me running a little on empty. I suppose I stayed that way all the next week too. And then Sunday, after I hung up the phone with D I got this wave of nausea and fatigue, and decided to take a nap (which I think is when you called). Two hours later I woke up and hurled. I hurled out both ends for the rest of the day. I think my last episode was at 9:30....I didn't feel like I could stay home on Monday (yesterday) so I went in. I figured since I wasn't puking my guts out anymore I'd be okay. But I really wasn't. As the day went on I got more sore and cold and tired, and I couldn't wait to get home and nap. I left a little early and did just that. Then went to bed early.
This morning I was like new. Seriously. Night and day...which makes me realize I should have just stayed out yesterday. And leaves me wondering if I had actually been sick for a couple of weeks...just going through the motions.
But the moral of the story is I'm on the mend...belly full of comfort food, sorry I missed a chance to catch up on Sunday.
I hope all is well in your world.
Love you!
Barb
Before I get all Susie's Sick Again on you let me say Happy Valentines's Day! I hope J or one of your boys (maybe both, so all of them?) does something nice for you today and makes you feel special and loved.
Here in my world I am feeling loved but celebrating alone. Not that I'm celebrating Valentine's Day as much as I am just feeling better. Well, maybe I am celebrating a little of both. Making American chop suey for dinner was a bit of a nod to myself and being able to comfort myself.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I had a rare-for-me respiratory thing and I guess I wasn't 100% before W came down and the stress just left me running a little on empty. I suppose I stayed that way all the next week too. And then Sunday, after I hung up the phone with D I got this wave of nausea and fatigue, and decided to take a nap (which I think is when you called). Two hours later I woke up and hurled. I hurled out both ends for the rest of the day. I think my last episode was at 9:30....I didn't feel like I could stay home on Monday (yesterday) so I went in. I figured since I wasn't puking my guts out anymore I'd be okay. But I really wasn't. As the day went on I got more sore and cold and tired, and I couldn't wait to get home and nap. I left a little early and did just that. Then went to bed early.
This morning I was like new. Seriously. Night and day...which makes me realize I should have just stayed out yesterday. And leaves me wondering if I had actually been sick for a couple of weeks...just going through the motions.
But the moral of the story is I'm on the mend...belly full of comfort food, sorry I missed a chance to catch up on Sunday.
I hope all is well in your world.
Love you!
Barb
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Mourning
What a heart wrenching weekend. And I’m not just talking about that horribly disappointing game. I don’t really want to get into it here (in part because I don’t feel like crying at the moment), but I will tell you that we had a heart-to-heart (which W initiated), and that I think we’ve reached the beginning of the end in a mutual, more official way.
I’ve been staying busy this week by design, and it has helped me to not spend every night blubbering the way I did Monday when I got home, but I do find myself fighting waves of sadness—like already I am mourning the loss of his independence and our relationship.
Other than that, things are great! Hahaha.
I’m sorry. It’s just hard to think about anything else.
I could really use a snow day.
Love,
Barb
I’ve been staying busy this week by design, and it has helped me to not spend every night blubbering the way I did Monday when I got home, but I do find myself fighting waves of sadness—like already I am mourning the loss of his independence and our relationship.
Other than that, things are great! Hahaha.
I’m sorry. It’s just hard to think about anything else.
I could really use a snow day.
Love,
Barb
Monday, February 6, 2012
Manic Monday
Hey, Barb.
So sorry about your Pats yesterday :( I wasn't really watching the game, and didn't have a favorite one way or the other, but I know it was a big deal for you and W. I hope that didn't ruin a weekend already filled with apprehension. How did it go, anyway?
Our weekend was great, I have to say. J and I are enjoying a fabulous high these past couple of months. Friday night, we joined T&S, along with three other couples, at the fundraising auction for their youngest son's hockey team. I've never been to anything like that and I can't tell you how much fun we had. We had an excellent group of friends at our table, plenty of wine from the open bar, good food and worthwhile things on which to bid. We came home with a trip to Leavenworth and a VIP game deal for the Rainiers this summer. As a table, we bought a private box for a game with our local pro hockey team, dinner and all. If Friday night was any indication, that will be an awesome time.
Saturday was football and shopping and little stuff, followed by a FD dinner we had to attend. It turned out to be short and sweet and we were home by 8:00, so it wasn't that bad. Sunday, we went over to Kim and Josh's as we always do. A small, very enjoyable group with a lot of yelling and money flying around (none of which I took home). All the girls were in the kitchen talking wedding with Kim's daughter (she's getting married this summer) and eating ridiculously fattening food, which is my idea of a perfect Sunday.
This week started out completely hectic, with a phone call from work at 6:30am - can you open today? - which means there's a good chance it's going to be like last week. Argh. I work for the most disorganized, unprofessional management team I have ever encountered. They're unbelievable. Argh. Again.
Anyway....at least I'm getting the bedroom painted this week and the carpet people are coming to measure...yay! It's starting to come together, slowly. I'll have to send you a picture when it's all done.
I hope your weekend went well, too, and that this week started off on the right foot. Hope to talk to you soon!
Love you,
A
So sorry about your Pats yesterday :( I wasn't really watching the game, and didn't have a favorite one way or the other, but I know it was a big deal for you and W. I hope that didn't ruin a weekend already filled with apprehension. How did it go, anyway?
Our weekend was great, I have to say. J and I are enjoying a fabulous high these past couple of months. Friday night, we joined T&S, along with three other couples, at the fundraising auction for their youngest son's hockey team. I've never been to anything like that and I can't tell you how much fun we had. We had an excellent group of friends at our table, plenty of wine from the open bar, good food and worthwhile things on which to bid. We came home with a trip to Leavenworth and a VIP game deal for the Rainiers this summer. As a table, we bought a private box for a game with our local pro hockey team, dinner and all. If Friday night was any indication, that will be an awesome time.
Saturday was football and shopping and little stuff, followed by a FD dinner we had to attend. It turned out to be short and sweet and we were home by 8:00, so it wasn't that bad. Sunday, we went over to Kim and Josh's as we always do. A small, very enjoyable group with a lot of yelling and money flying around (none of which I took home). All the girls were in the kitchen talking wedding with Kim's daughter (she's getting married this summer) and eating ridiculously fattening food, which is my idea of a perfect Sunday.
This week started out completely hectic, with a phone call from work at 6:30am - can you open today? - which means there's a good chance it's going to be like last week. Argh. I work for the most disorganized, unprofessional management team I have ever encountered. They're unbelievable. Argh. Again.
Anyway....at least I'm getting the bedroom painted this week and the carpet people are coming to measure...yay! It's starting to come together, slowly. I'll have to send you a picture when it's all done.
I hope your weekend went well, too, and that this week started off on the right foot. Hope to talk to you soon!
Love you,
A
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Timing
Sorry I missed you the other night. I was in correcting hell at the time; when I went to check voice mail and call you back, I had missed the little window of time you had. Hope high school orientation went well...and, yeah, I know...when the hell did that happen?
W comes down tomorrow for the big game. I'm still anxious but trying to be positive--about our visit and the game. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hope all is well with you. I imagine there's a BLU party somewhere tomorrow in the hood, and I hope you have fun.
More next week.
Love you,
Barb
W comes down tomorrow for the big game. I'm still anxious but trying to be positive--about our visit and the game. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hope all is well with you. I imagine there's a BLU party somewhere tomorrow in the hood, and I hope you have fun.
More next week.
Love you,
Barb
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
It's Only Tuesday??
Hey,
Sorry I've been absent. I've been kind of dragging, myself. I'm not really sure what's going on, but I've had a cough since before Christmas, which is starting to really annoy me, and the past few days I've had an upset stomach that I can't seem to shake. On top of it, I'm dog tired all day long. I even got up and went to the gym yesterday before work, but managed to sleep from 2 to 4 in the afternoon anyway. This week is another busy one and I'd be much less stressed if I had some energy.
I wish I had left myself more time to write this morning, but I couldn't get out of bed :( So here is my quick morning "hello"; I would love to catch up on the phone this week. I have a half-assed plan to go to the city on a necessary errand tomorrow at lunch time, which is a 45 minute drive. I'll try you then if I actually make the trip.
Glad to hear you're feeling better ~
Love,
A
Sorry I've been absent. I've been kind of dragging, myself. I'm not really sure what's going on, but I've had a cough since before Christmas, which is starting to really annoy me, and the past few days I've had an upset stomach that I can't seem to shake. On top of it, I'm dog tired all day long. I even got up and went to the gym yesterday before work, but managed to sleep from 2 to 4 in the afternoon anyway. This week is another busy one and I'd be much less stressed if I had some energy.
I wish I had left myself more time to write this morning, but I couldn't get out of bed :( So here is my quick morning "hello"; I would love to catch up on the phone this week. I have a half-assed plan to go to the city on a necessary errand tomorrow at lunch time, which is a 45 minute drive. I'll try you then if I actually make the trip.
Glad to hear you're feeling better ~
Love,
A
Monday, January 30, 2012
Perfect Storm
I suppose it was the perfect storm: losing a night's sleep, stress at school, and my semi-annual period. I ended up getting sick...Friday I could feel I was coming down with something. I had that prickly-tight feeling in my chest and a sore throat and I felt achy. I felt worse Saturday than Friday; Sunday worse than Saturday. I ended up taking today off and I'm glad I did. The extra rest did me good, I think; I am finally on the mend. Too bad I'll be in correcting hell for the rest of the week. At least I've caught up on my sleep.
I'm looking forward to this weekend with W but am also a little nervous. This is the first time in months he'll be in my neck of the woods and it seems everything has changed in a very short time. So much to think about, so much to worry about, I imagine it will be a bittersweet weekend. But it's something I'd rather talk about than write about...if not before, then after.
I know C is around this week so if you don't have time to chat, I'll be sure to touch base with you after.
Hope all is well for you.
Love,
Barb
I'm looking forward to this weekend with W but am also a little nervous. This is the first time in months he'll be in my neck of the woods and it seems everything has changed in a very short time. So much to think about, so much to worry about, I imagine it will be a bittersweet weekend. But it's something I'd rather talk about than write about...if not before, then after.
I know C is around this week so if you don't have time to chat, I'll be sure to touch base with you after.
Hope all is well for you.
Love,
Barb
Friday, January 27, 2012
Dragging
This has been a looooong week. No holidays, no sick days, no snow days, and I started the week at a sleep deficit because of the craziness with my neighbors Saturday night. I pretty much slept only four hours that night, and they were not four good, solid hours of sleep. Two hours in I woke up strobing; the other two I lay there in tired dread. I had a terrible migraine on Sunday, the excitement of the game, and then the week started--despite it all.
My saving grace was midterm exams. By yesterday I was out of gas (did I mention I also have my period?) but at least I didn't have to teach. All I had to do to get through the day was proctor an exam. I had dinner plans with C that I was inclined to cancel, but didn't. I came home and rested, and we went out after all and I survived. Now I just have to drag my ass upstairs to get dressed and out the door one more time. Two exams today, then pizza for lunch, then I'm going to guess a big, fat nap is in my future. May as well take advantage of the lull of the rain today (which is making it even harder to get going) and nap to it this afternoon. I have Chinese food in the fridge (I mentioned I have my period, right?) from the other night, so I think I may skip my Friday night steak dinner tradition and stay comfy cozy once I get there.
For now though, I’m off and dragging…
Love,
Barb
My saving grace was midterm exams. By yesterday I was out of gas (did I mention I also have my period?) but at least I didn't have to teach. All I had to do to get through the day was proctor an exam. I had dinner plans with C that I was inclined to cancel, but didn't. I came home and rested, and we went out after all and I survived. Now I just have to drag my ass upstairs to get dressed and out the door one more time. Two exams today, then pizza for lunch, then I'm going to guess a big, fat nap is in my future. May as well take advantage of the lull of the rain today (which is making it even harder to get going) and nap to it this afternoon. I have Chinese food in the fridge (I mentioned I have my period, right?) from the other night, so I think I may skip my Friday night steak dinner tradition and stay comfy cozy once I get there.
For now though, I’m off and dragging…
Love,
Barb
Thursday, January 26, 2012
I hope your week hasn't been too awful with midterms; I do remember all the correcting :( I know it's different from a parent's perspective, but I feel like this school year is just flying by. I hope, at least, that you are feeling a little momentum on the downward slide.
We lost our power again Tuesday night, for about 12 hours. Fortunately, we were asleep for most it, but we did have a horrific windstorm that was loud and scary. Since all the trees had been compromised by the ice, there was a lot of concern about what would fall during Phase Two of StormWatch 2012. Some places had much more damage than others, and some got away with nothing. We were extremely lucky and only lost minor branches from two trees. SA and K lost major parts of gorgeous trees, but the worst was a guy down my street who had a pretty good size pine tree come up out of the ground, roots and all, and crash about two feet from the front of his house. Crazy.
The kids didn't have school, but my office was in a little pocket of power, so at least I wasn't cooped up in the house all day. Anyway, enough about the weather. We're all pretty sick of it right now.
This week has been busy, as I expected. I really liked the yoga class we took on Tuesday and I'm looking forward to going back tonight. I slept like a rock. This weekend we have the beginning of flag football, a 50th birthday party and some other stuff not that fun. But, I did get all my new bedding, so RP is going to come over and help me start my new room. Yay!
Hoping you have a fun weekend planned and that the rest of this week goes smoothly,
A
xoxo
Monday, January 23, 2012
YAY!
Yep, pretty exciting!…although I’ll be a wreck for two weeks. We had better win, because I’m not sure there’s a fate worse than losing to the Giants--of all teams. Still, I suppose I have to respect your decision to root for the enemy…;-)
Glad you can get back to normal this week, though it sounds like you’ll be busy. Funny how every once in a while Mother Nature reminds us she’s really the one in charge, isn’t it? But for all the inconvenience of it, at least you’re all okay. My father said, in the middle of our snow crises, Still better than the old country. True, that, Dad. True, that.
We have midterms coming up at the end of the week so we’re at the half year point. Guess I can make it through this one after all…Lots of correcting to do, of course, because I still haven’t learned. Or I’ve learned and still do it anyway. Like drinking too much red wine on a Sunday night. If you know what I mean. ;-)
Have a good week.
Love,
Barb
Glad you can get back to normal this week, though it sounds like you’ll be busy. Funny how every once in a while Mother Nature reminds us she’s really the one in charge, isn’t it? But for all the inconvenience of it, at least you’re all okay. My father said, in the middle of our snow crises, Still better than the old country. True, that, Dad. True, that.
We have midterms coming up at the end of the week so we’re at the half year point. Guess I can make it through this one after all…Lots of correcting to do, of course, because I still haven’t learned. Or I’ve learned and still do it anyway. Like drinking too much red wine on a Sunday night. If you know what I mean. ;-)
Have a good week.
Love,
Barb
Sunday, January 22, 2012
XLVI :)
Happy Monday, and congrats on the big win today! Sorry, but I'll have to be cheering for the Gs since J's sister, D, was their biggest fan. Not that I was on their side today, mind you.
Power is back on here and so far, so good. We've had no flooding, so hopefully the worst of it is over. I have a busy week ahead with appointments in the afternoons. K and I signed up for a yoga class two nights a week, and that starts Tuesday. Friday, C arrives for the weekend then heads down to Corvallis to work for a couple of weeks before coming back up here for JJ's birthday. She's leaving her dog with us; that was my idea because, evidently, I am out of my right mind.
I had a pretty good weekend and now am ready for a "normal" week with everyone back in school and life restored as we know it.
Love you,
A
Power is back on here and so far, so good. We've had no flooding, so hopefully the worst of it is over. I have a busy week ahead with appointments in the afternoons. K and I signed up for a yoga class two nights a week, and that starts Tuesday. Friday, C arrives for the weekend then heads down to Corvallis to work for a couple of weeks before coming back up here for JJ's birthday. She's leaving her dog with us; that was my idea because, evidently, I am out of my right mind.
I had a pretty good weekend and now am ready for a "normal" week with everyone back in school and life restored as we know it.
Love you,
A
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
A Good Mood Kind of Day
Barb,
You're really challenging me, here. Immediate response the following morning? :)
Today was a good day. We had very few staff and almost all of our patients. This made for a busy and fun (if a little stressful) morning that flew by. I got to and from work just fine in what a Los Angeles news station referred to as "Snowmageddon". I laughed my ass off when JB texted that to me; clearly, they have never been east of the Rockies. My trusty little Prius served me well.
I spent the afternoon dinking around on Pinterest and Houzz (since I'm obsessed with the decorating project) and on the phone with my new interior designer. This is kind of funny, really: my friend/neighbor, RP, (who is actually very good friends with SA, and lives across the street from CC and BroJ but has managed to avoid them for the past seven years - on purpose) put out a little note on FB a few weeks ago. She's ready to go back to work now that her boys are in school. She asked for career suggestions and was instantly barraged with replies that she ought to get into interior decorating. Somewhere in the discussion, she asked "Who would hire me?" at which point, I became her first "client". She's very fun and eclectic, and she's a stellar bargain shopper (which I am definitely not). I chose a $400 rug for JJ's game room and she dismissed me before I could even show her the picture. Apparently, she's capable of finding the same thing for a quarter of the price. Sweet!
When JJ and his buddies got bored with the snow (and they were soaked to the bone) I made popcorn and sat with them to watch some horrific teenage-boy movie, the title of which I immediately erased from my mind. It involved much shooting and girls in Spandex. Still, it was fun to spend a couple of hours with them, not minding me being there. I'll take what I can get.
I'm heading to bed now...before midnight tonight. Still struggling with a cough and not feeling 100% well from my pre-Christmas cold. Hope you're week is going well too!
Love you,
A
You're really challenging me, here. Immediate response the following morning? :)
Today was a good day. We had very few staff and almost all of our patients. This made for a busy and fun (if a little stressful) morning that flew by. I got to and from work just fine in what a Los Angeles news station referred to as "Snowmageddon". I laughed my ass off when JB texted that to me; clearly, they have never been east of the Rockies. My trusty little Prius served me well.
I spent the afternoon dinking around on Pinterest and Houzz (since I'm obsessed with the decorating project) and on the phone with my new interior designer. This is kind of funny, really: my friend/neighbor, RP, (who is actually very good friends with SA, and lives across the street from CC and BroJ but has managed to avoid them for the past seven years - on purpose) put out a little note on FB a few weeks ago. She's ready to go back to work now that her boys are in school. She asked for career suggestions and was instantly barraged with replies that she ought to get into interior decorating. Somewhere in the discussion, she asked "Who would hire me?" at which point, I became her first "client". She's very fun and eclectic, and she's a stellar bargain shopper (which I am definitely not). I chose a $400 rug for JJ's game room and she dismissed me before I could even show her the picture. Apparently, she's capable of finding the same thing for a quarter of the price. Sweet!
When JJ and his buddies got bored with the snow (and they were soaked to the bone) I made popcorn and sat with them to watch some horrific teenage-boy movie, the title of which I immediately erased from my mind. It involved much shooting and girls in Spandex. Still, it was fun to spend a couple of hours with them, not minding me being there. I'll take what I can get.
I'm heading to bed now...before midnight tonight. Still struggling with a cough and not feeling 100% well from my pre-Christmas cold. Hope you're week is going well too!
Love you,
A
On the Lookout
Hey, A.
Winter is finally coming around to these parts (we had a delay yesterday), but it seems like we keep alternating between arctic blast and mild weather, with not a lot of precipitation in between. That’s okay, though. I’m kind of over wishing for snow days as I have moved onto making them myself. That is, gone are the days of playing martyr and suffering through a day with a migraine. Why bother? No one gives you a gold star and, moreover, I have 120 unused snow days in the bank. And if I leave them there when I retire they will pay me $30 per day—for up to 100 of them. Anyway.
Glad it’s already Wednesday…I’m taking the kids (well, M’s kids) out to dinner tonight. Tomorrow I have a big meeting after school, and then it’ll be Friday. Woo hoo. Big game (Go, Pats!) this weekend and nothing else planned. Next week we start midterms and you know what that means. I feel like I’m wishing my life away here, but this has been one of my worst school years yet, so yeah, we can move right along without looking back. As long as I get some stories along the way. ;-)
Hope you’re week is going well and that you’re surviving Winter Storm 2012!
Love,
Barb
PS I know I am queen of Honor Thyself, but I also feel like there was a little honoring of D that I didn’t do…and I felt bad. But I’m better now. P didn’t finish and there will be other opportunities for me to help.
Winter is finally coming around to these parts (we had a delay yesterday), but it seems like we keep alternating between arctic blast and mild weather, with not a lot of precipitation in between. That’s okay, though. I’m kind of over wishing for snow days as I have moved onto making them myself. That is, gone are the days of playing martyr and suffering through a day with a migraine. Why bother? No one gives you a gold star and, moreover, I have 120 unused snow days in the bank. And if I leave them there when I retire they will pay me $30 per day—for up to 100 of them. Anyway.
Glad it’s already Wednesday…I’m taking the kids (well, M’s kids) out to dinner tonight. Tomorrow I have a big meeting after school, and then it’ll be Friday. Woo hoo. Big game (Go, Pats!) this weekend and nothing else planned. Next week we start midterms and you know what that means. I feel like I’m wishing my life away here, but this has been one of my worst school years yet, so yeah, we can move right along without looking back. As long as I get some stories along the way. ;-)
Hope you’re week is going well and that you’re surviving Winter Storm 2012!
Love,
Barb
PS I know I am queen of Honor Thyself, but I also feel like there was a little honoring of D that I didn’t do…and I felt bad. But I’m better now. P didn’t finish and there will be other opportunities for me to help.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
New Year, New Colors
Hey, you.
My friend, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that whole "honor yourself" credo by which we strive to live.
Like when I uninvited my own son to Christmas dinner. It didn't make me a bad mom, it just meant I was honoring myself. Even on Christmas Day.
Even on a day the family might have expected you to be there, you honored you. I'm proud of you.
It's late and I've been up way past my bedtime too many nights in a row. We're on Snow Day #2 tomorrow and I keep thinking I don't have to get up, since JJ doesn't. Wrong! I'm pretty wiped out tonight but had dinner with the girls earlier then spent some time with my boys when I got home. It's already after 11 and I better check out.
Nothing new going on around here ~~ other than Storm Watch Whatever-Year-It-Is ~~ good Lord, we might get some icy roads. Maybe. We should probably shut down the state, just to be safe.
On the upside, I am embarking on a redecoration project so I've been having fun getting ideas and doing a tiny bit of online shopping. Bought a quilt for my room today - - moving from rustic reds to ice blues and silvers. Very excited.
More later,
Love you!
A
My friend, don't be so hard on yourself. Remember that whole "honor yourself" credo by which we strive to live.
Like when I uninvited my own son to Christmas dinner. It didn't make me a bad mom, it just meant I was honoring myself. Even on Christmas Day.
Even on a day the family might have expected you to be there, you honored you. I'm proud of you.
It's late and I've been up way past my bedtime too many nights in a row. We're on Snow Day #2 tomorrow and I keep thinking I don't have to get up, since JJ doesn't. Wrong! I'm pretty wiped out tonight but had dinner with the girls earlier then spent some time with my boys when I got home. It's already after 11 and I better check out.
Nothing new going on around here ~~ other than Storm Watch Whatever-Year-It-Is ~~ good Lord, we might get some icy roads. Maybe. We should probably shut down the state, just to be safe.
On the upside, I am embarking on a redecoration project so I've been having fun getting ideas and doing a tiny bit of online shopping. Bought a quilt for my room today - - moving from rustic reds to ice blues and silvers. Very excited.
More later,
Love you!
A
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Regrets
Ugh. I feel like a wimp/loser/jerk...despite JJ's kind words and my friends' encouragement, I just couldn't go over and help clean out the condo. I knew I was emotionally volatile and didn't think that going over and blubbering was going to be any help. So I sent a text that I wasn't able to lend a hand after all...And now I feel terrible about it. What complicates matters is that I'm having lunch today with D's sister, the aunt P didn't want to help. She trusted me more to be there and I didn't have the character to show. And this afternoon I can't even mention it (so that she won't be offended that she wasn't invited to join). I know I need to let it go, and I will eventually, but today I feel like a bit of a heel.
I think what I am most looking forward to this weekend is tomorrow, that extra day I have with no commitments, no place to get to by noon, no one to disappoint by honoring myself. Tomorrow will be my Sunday on Monday: bacon and eggs for brunch with a screwdriver or two in my sweats all day. Maybe I'll cook; maybe I'll play Words with Friends all day. I hope to write a little and clean a little, and a nap is not out of the question. Can't wait.
Hope your weekend has been good...
You're it!
Love you,
Barb
I think what I am most looking forward to this weekend is tomorrow, that extra day I have with no commitments, no place to get to by noon, no one to disappoint by honoring myself. Tomorrow will be my Sunday on Monday: bacon and eggs for brunch with a screwdriver or two in my sweats all day. Maybe I'll cook; maybe I'll play Words with Friends all day. I hope to write a little and clean a little, and a nap is not out of the question. Can't wait.
Hope your weekend has been good...
You're it!
Love you,
Barb
Friday, January 13, 2012
Testing
Hey, Amanda.
Me on my new toy here...Great talking to you just now. Hope you and JJ have fun at the gym. Promise to write more over the weekend, for now just wanted to figure this out and say hey.
Love you!
Barb
Me on my new toy here...Great talking to you just now. Hope you and JJ have fun at the gym. Promise to write more over the weekend, for now just wanted to figure this out and say hey.
Love you!
Barb
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Moving On or Trying My Best
Dear Barb,
I get the moving along part. I really do. Why does the crap have to continue though?
Another crummy day with M. When he came over to pack some things, I spent a half an hour fighting with him before asking him to leave the house. Then, I cried for a half an hour before sleeping on the couch until JJ got home from school.
Stellar day.
You know what, though? I had a Booster's Meeting tonight at my house and I was racking my brain to find a way to get out of it. Of course, at that short notice, I couldn't. But by the time the eight women on my committee for the Middle School Auction left at 9:00 this evening, I felt a lot better. I had spent some time being purposeful, helping others and generally in good company. There is a lot to be said for girlfriends, even those who have no idea how I spent the afternoon.
Tomorrow: waking up with positive energy.
Love you ~
A
Done. Moving Right Along.
I’d say we could both use a Christmas do-over, but I’d rather just keep moving forward now that it’s done. That is to say my Christmas wasn’t very good either. Once I cried I couldn’t stop. For very long anyway. I had my moment on Christmas Eve then pulled it together. I left early (because it was getting harder with each moment to keep it together) and as soon as I got in the car it was water works. I almost got in an accident because I couldn’t see straight. I got home and cried some more.
Then Christmas morning, I started all over again. I’d stop, then J called and I cried all over. When we hung up I thought I was done. Until my cousin L, one of D’s sisters, called from California and we cried together for an hour. I was close to calling in a migraine and staying home, but I knew I needed to be with my family—despite the fact that there wouldn’t be much conversation about it. D’s death, her absence would be the elephant in the room.
I took an hour after my shower to lie down with cucumber slices and a wash cloth full of ice cubes on my eyes, but I still looked like crap. And I didn’t make it through the day without crying again. But I managed to have fun. Vodka helped.
All the while W was in the hospital.
Worst. Christmas. Ever.
Sounds like you’ve found a way to bounce back/refocus after your Christmas with your parents’ video. I think it’s awesome that you have something like that. (And don’t worry; I know what you meant about being tired of being a mom.) Use it as a tool.
I’m bouncing back, slowly but surely, too. Trying to focus on positive energy and affect change. I’m trying to get in balance again, do more visualization and some meditation. I even started reading a new (for me), new age spirituality book. It seems to be helping.
And I’ m back to counting WW points, too, but not where I should be, not where I was back in October or November. That too, will come.
So praise to us both for trying to feel better this year, for finding solace in each other, and making our way back to the page.
Love,
Barb
Then Christmas morning, I started all over again. I’d stop, then J called and I cried all over. When we hung up I thought I was done. Until my cousin L, one of D’s sisters, called from California and we cried together for an hour. I was close to calling in a migraine and staying home, but I knew I needed to be with my family—despite the fact that there wouldn’t be much conversation about it. D’s death, her absence would be the elephant in the room.
I took an hour after my shower to lie down with cucumber slices and a wash cloth full of ice cubes on my eyes, but I still looked like crap. And I didn’t make it through the day without crying again. But I managed to have fun. Vodka helped.
All the while W was in the hospital.
Worst. Christmas. Ever.
Sounds like you’ve found a way to bounce back/refocus after your Christmas with your parents’ video. I think it’s awesome that you have something like that. (And don’t worry; I know what you meant about being tired of being a mom.) Use it as a tool.
I’m bouncing back, slowly but surely, too. Trying to focus on positive energy and affect change. I’m trying to get in balance again, do more visualization and some meditation. I even started reading a new (for me), new age spirituality book. It seems to be helping.
And I’ m back to counting WW points, too, but not where I should be, not where I was back in October or November. That too, will come.
So praise to us both for trying to feel better this year, for finding solace in each other, and making our way back to the page.
Love,
Barb
Monday, January 9, 2012
Lifting up... a little
Just so you aren't worried that I'm going to appear on some episode of 20/20 as That Mom - the one no one thought was capable of leaving her kids and running off with the plumber - turns out that half bottle of Cab wasn't such a bad thing.
Did I ever tell you that I made a video of pictures of my parents for their 50th party? I'm no artist when it comes to that sort of thing, but I thought I kicked a** with this project. Perhaps I even shared it with you; I don't remember. For anyone who didn't know my parents well, it wouldn't have meant much.
Months before the party, I had asked my dad to send me some pictures of their lives together. In response, he sent me over four thousand pictures on discs that he had scanned and downloaded from albums my mother and grandmother had kept meticulously for generations. It took me forever to go through them all and I was a little peeved that he couldn't have just sent me fifty choice picks and saved me the time. He is retired, for Pete's sake.
As you can imagine, the sorting was a journey through time that not only turned my heart but ended up being an invaluable piece in creating what I wanted to present as my own, personal tribute to my mom and dad.
As I played around on my brand new Mac (at the time), taking classes and reading online tutorials back to back late into the night to learn what I was doing, I chose music that represented the life I imagined they had led for fifty years together. After all, I hadn't been there since the beginning. Much of this would be the love story I made up in my head. I went from Micheal Buble to Meatloaf and back again, obsessed with creating something by which my parents would be touched, of which my grandmother would have been proud.
I read somewhere that music videos need to be limited to less than seven minutes. Audiences lose interest when they head towards eight. I had 4,000 + memories; how was I supposed to reduce that to seven minutes? Seriously, I put days into this. Nights, even. This was the sort of thing that Bro J would normally have rocked with very little effort, but since he had chosen to be loudly not present, I couldn't just let it go. In true fashion, I finished it the night before the party. I was terrified that, at 11+ minutes, the entire party would come to a sleeping halt before we even served dessert.
No one saw it beforehand, not even J. When the DJ started it up, and I heard the opening lines of "I Got You, Babe", I knew it was going to be perfect.
Weeks after the party, my dad called and asked me if he could get a copy of it on a disc so he could share it with some friends who had been unable to attend the party. Later, he asked for another copy, to send to friends in Australia. Later, another. He didn't have a copy of his own to watch whenever he wanted.
The thing is, it wasn't about my parents loving it (although, I must say, that was pretty awesome). I did it because it was the only true way I could honor them. The party, the cost of the food, the cloth napkins...those things had nothing to do with the gratitude I felt. How do you thank people who stuck with you when you were the biggest pain in the ass? Who kept at you, kept trying, kept believing? People who lost sleep, gave up, then tried again? People whose hearts you have broken again and again, who never walked away?
From time to time, I sit and watch my tribute video, because I like the songs I chose. I love the pictures of my parents and the memories of my past. Tonight, as I sat here feeling sorry for myself (My kids aren't perfect! Poor me!), I poured the last of my bottle of red and pulled it up on the screen.
In eleven minutes, I remembered every moment I caused my mom to want to run away with the plumber, every time my dad wanted to quit his job and disappear as a statistic. And I thought, how blessed am I, to lead the beautiful life I lead today? How did I get here?
Because of them, I guess.
So when I tell you I'm tired of being a Mom, I want you to know what I mean: just today, that's all.
Did I ever tell you that I made a video of pictures of my parents for their 50th party? I'm no artist when it comes to that sort of thing, but I thought I kicked a** with this project. Perhaps I even shared it with you; I don't remember. For anyone who didn't know my parents well, it wouldn't have meant much.
Months before the party, I had asked my dad to send me some pictures of their lives together. In response, he sent me over four thousand pictures on discs that he had scanned and downloaded from albums my mother and grandmother had kept meticulously for generations. It took me forever to go through them all and I was a little peeved that he couldn't have just sent me fifty choice picks and saved me the time. He is retired, for Pete's sake.
As you can imagine, the sorting was a journey through time that not only turned my heart but ended up being an invaluable piece in creating what I wanted to present as my own, personal tribute to my mom and dad.
As I played around on my brand new Mac (at the time), taking classes and reading online tutorials back to back late into the night to learn what I was doing, I chose music that represented the life I imagined they had led for fifty years together. After all, I hadn't been there since the beginning. Much of this would be the love story I made up in my head. I went from Micheal Buble to Meatloaf and back again, obsessed with creating something by which my parents would be touched, of which my grandmother would have been proud.
I read somewhere that music videos need to be limited to less than seven minutes. Audiences lose interest when they head towards eight. I had 4,000 + memories; how was I supposed to reduce that to seven minutes? Seriously, I put days into this. Nights, even. This was the sort of thing that Bro J would normally have rocked with very little effort, but since he had chosen to be loudly not present, I couldn't just let it go. In true fashion, I finished it the night before the party. I was terrified that, at 11+ minutes, the entire party would come to a sleeping halt before we even served dessert.
No one saw it beforehand, not even J. When the DJ started it up, and I heard the opening lines of "I Got You, Babe", I knew it was going to be perfect.
Weeks after the party, my dad called and asked me if he could get a copy of it on a disc so he could share it with some friends who had been unable to attend the party. Later, he asked for another copy, to send to friends in Australia. Later, another. He didn't have a copy of his own to watch whenever he wanted.
The thing is, it wasn't about my parents loving it (although, I must say, that was pretty awesome). I did it because it was the only true way I could honor them. The party, the cost of the food, the cloth napkins...those things had nothing to do with the gratitude I felt. How do you thank people who stuck with you when you were the biggest pain in the ass? Who kept at you, kept trying, kept believing? People who lost sleep, gave up, then tried again? People whose hearts you have broken again and again, who never walked away?
From time to time, I sit and watch my tribute video, because I like the songs I chose. I love the pictures of my parents and the memories of my past. Tonight, as I sat here feeling sorry for myself (My kids aren't perfect! Poor me!), I poured the last of my bottle of red and pulled it up on the screen.
In eleven minutes, I remembered every moment I caused my mom to want to run away with the plumber, every time my dad wanted to quit his job and disappear as a statistic. And I thought, how blessed am I, to lead the beautiful life I lead today? How did I get here?
Because of them, I guess.
So when I tell you I'm tired of being a Mom, I want you to know what I mean: just today, that's all.
Debbie Downer
Hey,
You're probably going to regret nudging me to the page, but if I don't at least write a little, it will probably never happen. I'm not doing very well lately, and writing is close to the last thing on my list of things I want to do with my free time.
Our Christmas was pretty awful, to tell you the truth. I'm sure I told you what a d*** M was, and how C and her boyfriend competed with him for Who Made the Family Holiday More Miserable. Not sure who won, but the three of them put up a good fight. I still haven't spoken to my brother since before Thanksgiving, even though my mother suspiciously sent their presents to our house and theirs to ours; how passive-aggressive is that?! As it turned out, CC was the braver (bigger?) person and brought our gifts over. Fortunately, I wasn't home and J dealt with her graciously. My mother: "Oh my goodness! How did that happen?" Really. Mom.
I'm so glad the holidays are over, and things with C are smoothed out, but things still aren't going well with M. He finally got an apartment and is living with his skank-a$$ girlfriend somewhere north of here. I imagine he paid for 6 month's rent (or I hope he did) because he still doesn't have a job. She doesn't work either; they both dropped out of high school. They're still floating on death money and who knows how long that will last. It has been seven months since he moved out and I have finally hit a wall with his room being jam-packed with all of his crap. As a result, we're fighting more, seeing each other less and generally swimming around in tension. I am trying to figure out how to give him an ultimatum on getting his room cleaned out, without causing a massive blow-up. It's easier to drink.
Most recently, we've also been having some issues with JJ at school, which are now starting to escalate. I have him enrolled in an after-school program at Sylvan but it doesn't seem to be helping. He's still many, many assignments behind in several classes and now, refuses to even do his homework. He has no privileges at all left - TV, video games, friends, computer - it's all gone. When it came down to registering for spring football, he told us he didn't care if he didn't play. He said he'd rather not play ball than do school work.
I'm tired of always being angry and disappointed. I'm exhausted from worrying and imagining the worst in my kids' futures. The only person I do get along with is J, for which, I know, I should be grateful. But I can hardly be appreciative when I'm so busy crying.
Pathetic, huh? Doesn't motivate me much to write.
I went back to WW tonight, thinking that maybe this will help me focus a little more on me and the things I need, instead of the idiotic choices my boys are making. But as soon as I got home, I got into it with M on the phone, then with JJ about homework, and now I'm halfway into a bottle of cabernet.
I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but today, I'm tired of being a mom, B. I know it will change; it always does. This is temporary and things will get better again. But right now, I would love to just get in my car and head towards somewhere warm and quiet.
So that's me...back at the page.
Love you,
A
You're probably going to regret nudging me to the page, but if I don't at least write a little, it will probably never happen. I'm not doing very well lately, and writing is close to the last thing on my list of things I want to do with my free time.
Our Christmas was pretty awful, to tell you the truth. I'm sure I told you what a d*** M was, and how C and her boyfriend competed with him for Who Made the Family Holiday More Miserable. Not sure who won, but the three of them put up a good fight. I still haven't spoken to my brother since before Thanksgiving, even though my mother suspiciously sent their presents to our house and theirs to ours; how passive-aggressive is that?! As it turned out, CC was the braver (bigger?) person and brought our gifts over. Fortunately, I wasn't home and J dealt with her graciously. My mother: "Oh my goodness! How did that happen?" Really. Mom.
I'm so glad the holidays are over, and things with C are smoothed out, but things still aren't going well with M. He finally got an apartment and is living with his skank-a$$ girlfriend somewhere north of here. I imagine he paid for 6 month's rent (or I hope he did) because he still doesn't have a job. She doesn't work either; they both dropped out of high school. They're still floating on death money and who knows how long that will last. It has been seven months since he moved out and I have finally hit a wall with his room being jam-packed with all of his crap. As a result, we're fighting more, seeing each other less and generally swimming around in tension. I am trying to figure out how to give him an ultimatum on getting his room cleaned out, without causing a massive blow-up. It's easier to drink.
Most recently, we've also been having some issues with JJ at school, which are now starting to escalate. I have him enrolled in an after-school program at Sylvan but it doesn't seem to be helping. He's still many, many assignments behind in several classes and now, refuses to even do his homework. He has no privileges at all left - TV, video games, friends, computer - it's all gone. When it came down to registering for spring football, he told us he didn't care if he didn't play. He said he'd rather not play ball than do school work.
I'm tired of always being angry and disappointed. I'm exhausted from worrying and imagining the worst in my kids' futures. The only person I do get along with is J, for which, I know, I should be grateful. But I can hardly be appreciative when I'm so busy crying.
Pathetic, huh? Doesn't motivate me much to write.
I went back to WW tonight, thinking that maybe this will help me focus a little more on me and the things I need, instead of the idiotic choices my boys are making. But as soon as I got home, I got into it with M on the phone, then with JJ about homework, and now I'm halfway into a bottle of cabernet.
I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but today, I'm tired of being a mom, B. I know it will change; it always does. This is temporary and things will get better again. But right now, I would love to just get in my car and head towards somewhere warm and quiet.
So that's me...back at the page.
Love you,
A
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Happy New Year!
So what d'ya say, Amanda, we turn over a new leaf in the new year and try to get to the screen more often? I miss checking in here to find out what's going on with you; I miss having a place to say I hate my job or I just made the best dinner ever--and that's what's getting me by till my next miserable day at school. (That and the glass bottle of wine that goes with it, usually.)
But really, I am trying to reprogram myself, and open myself up to the possibility of other possibilities this year. I'm trying to do affirming meditations and get in a better place. I got a new book and pulled out some old ones and I'm trying to be productive with my thoughts, trying to journal again as well. I'd love to keep you apprised of my progress if you'd be willing to shoot me back some progress notes of your own.
Let me know if you're up for the New Year challenge.
Love,
Barb
But really, I am trying to reprogram myself, and open myself up to the possibility of other possibilities this year. I'm trying to do affirming meditations and get in a better place. I got a new book and pulled out some old ones and I'm trying to be productive with my thoughts, trying to journal again as well. I'd love to keep you apprised of my progress if you'd be willing to shoot me back some progress notes of your own.
Let me know if you're up for the New Year challenge.
Love,
Barb
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