Cleaning House

Good morning.

It is spring here. We had a mostly beautiful week and next week is supposed to be even nicer-- mid-70s (vs 60s) and sunny nice--a couple of days. I am looking forward to it, and promising myself to get out and enjoy it. Even just a 20 minute walk will do me wonders--especially since I haven't been to the gym in ages...which I'm sure is contributing to my depression--or a way I am NOT contributing to feeling better when I could be.

So, yeah, I didn't see that coming. When you called I had no idea that I'd fall apart so instantly. Just as I wasn't prepared to cry in my endocrinologist's office either. But now that a few days have passed, I'm beginning to feel better and can see that I had gotten to the breaking point. All it took was for someone to genuinely ask me how I'm doing and it was enough to set off the water works, and for me to begin to articulate that I've had enough sadness and sickness and stress for a lifetime and, in fact, I am depressed about it. While I can't make all that sickness and stress go away because they are not within my control, I can start to figure out how not to take it on as my own. I am not the family therapist, nor a visiting nurse. I am a sister and daughter and girlfriend, and I have my limits. Now I just have to work out what they are and how to stick to them. Thanks for being there for me as I get started.

On a lighter note, I think the event planning idea is brilliant: you'd be very good at it! Your task will be to figure out if there is a market for it in your area and how to get started. (Then while we're at it, once we get you figured out we need to figure out my next career. Feeling trapped in my profession is definitely not helping my funk...) Next time we talk, lets talk about that some more.

After a pedicure this afternoon I have lots of cleaning to do this weekend (entropy again, and M&J are coming over Tuesday night) but hope to see it as an opportunity to let spring in and start cleaning house figurativley as well...

Love you,
Barb

PS good luck to J today!